I have been dating this woman since last November. She asked me out. I have known her for years. She has a history of abusive relationships. It seemed that we were really starting to get closer--then she seemed to get colder with her affection this past June. I am confused because she likes going out with me (1-2X/wk.) and will talk on the phone with me for an hour or more. I asked her where we are at, and she said she didn't know-but she still wants to be around. I like her, but I just don't know how much of an emotional or time investment I should make. I guess I worry that I will get slammed later or feel like a fool. I wonder what she sees in me. I wonder what the future will hold....Just profoundly confused...
2006-08-24 01:34:20 · 13 answers · asked by happy4u 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If she has been in abusive relationships, she's got some emotional scars that are going to take a while to heal. The closer she becomes to you, the more she will start to get nervous - she doesn't want to fall for yet another man who's going to hurt her both emotionally and physically.
Be patient with her. It will take some time and effort on your part before she'll trust you enough. But once she does, she should make a very faithful partner as she doesn't trust others easily. There may be much less risk of involvement with other men.
2006-08-24 01:43:17 · answer #1 · answered by Avid 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do u think she's keeping u around because u are the token "nice" guy, maybe a bit of a pushover? And she feels "comfortable" with u and is keeping u around because of the things she's been through in past relationships? If this relationship doesnt feel like one, move on, but tell her u would still like to be friends, and be there for her
2006-08-24 08:42:42 · answer #2 · answered by funkygurll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you tell her what you want?
rather than you just waiting to see what she does, maybe it would be good to be proactive. I realize there is risk in that, but just putting it out there would be communicating to her what you want. If you take that risk, you will discover whether or not you should be investing more with her or not.
She might be waiting for you to express yourself-that is where I am in my relationship, I would like for him to let me know where I stand. We have no formal commitment, so I'm not sure how serious he is. I still believe in men should do the asking in some regards!
2006-08-24 08:42:32 · answer #3 · answered by sheskiistoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is scared to let her feelings get involved because she has had so many bad relationships in the past I can understand her feelings,she probably really likes you but is being standoffish because she don't want to be hurt again.try to start seeing her more than 1 or 2x's a week the more she is around you and you are not abusive physically mentally or emotionally the easier it will be for her to let her guard down.
2006-08-24 08:40:19 · answer #4 · answered by leoslady3900 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some time, maybe she is a little hesistant bc of her past relationship. She still needs to get the full security and trust from you that this won't be same as her past. Talk to her, show her how much you care about her...make her feel secured.
Girls like that :) TLC time
2006-08-24 08:38:43 · answer #5 · answered by PinkPanther16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best answer you can get is from her my dear.
Ask her about what worries you. Talk to her. Ask her what she feels about you, what she thinks your relationship is like...Talk bluntly to her and try to get some REAL ANSWERS from her. Don't let her avoid answering. My dear, if you see that she is becoming more and more distant, it would be better if you do not invest much of a feeling in this relationship, so that you don't get hurt.
But please talk to her. I don't like it when people keep things untold and suffer. You don't have to. if she doesn't love you anymore, there are lots of other women who will!
Good luck and don't worry!
2006-08-24 08:47:26 · answer #6 · answered by atrabel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're confused and she's confused sounds like your not strong enough for a relationship with this type of woman. keep seeing her but see other people you might find someone with less baggage and someone that you can feel good with and not controlled. she is already controlling you so......
2006-08-24 08:45:00 · answer #7 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her time to sort out her intentions. Having patience is prudent in this situation if you are serious about the relationship.
2006-08-24 08:40:03 · answer #8 · answered by Cary Grant 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's distancing herself to protect herself. SHe's probably afraid that history will repeat itself. Give her time and she'll probably come around. She's just scared. I should know. I do it too.
2006-08-24 08:40:56 · answer #9 · answered by T.G. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure, but maybe ur just a friend
2006-08-24 08:40:35 · answer #10 · answered by Rhine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋