2006-08-24 01:24:22 · 14 answers · asked by pencilnbrush 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when an intruder startled her. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, Stop! Acts 2:38! " (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.). The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you." "Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said she had an Ax and Two 38's!
Pedro &Maria got married. Pedro was a "man about town" so to speak, but Maria was very naive, uninformed about the birds n the bees. Pedro was a poor working man & could not afford to take time off for a honeymoon. So, that night they retired to his little shack. When Pedro was undressing Maria said "Oh Pedro, what is that?" Pedro being very quick thinking said "Maria, I am the only man in the world with one of these." Proceeded to show her what it was for . Maria was happy. The next morning Pedro went off to work as usual. When he returned home that evening Maria was on the front porch obviously upset about something. "Pedro, you told me that you were the only man in the world with one of those, n I saw Gonzalez the gardener changing his clothes behind the shed. and he had one, too." Thinking fast Pedro said, "Oh, Maria, Gonzalez is my very best friend. I had two of them so I gave him one. He is the only other man in the world with one of those." Marie being very stupid accepted his answer and they did their thing again that night. Pedro went off to work again the next morning and when he returned home Maria was very upset, stamping her foot on the porc! h. Pedro said, "Maria, what is the matter now?" "Pedro, you gave Gonzalez the best one!!"
2006-08-24 01:47:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..
2006-08-25 00:13:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this was so funny to me. six years ago when i was having a small birthday celebration,just my family and myself. my grandson gave me a birthday card saying Congratulations You Have Reached the big 50.well i thought that was so funny and that they were trying to be funny. do you know that i had forgotten that i was turning 50 and the card that i thought was a joke wasn't and when the kids realized that i forgot i was now 50 we all got a big laugh at that and even now they tease me and ask if i am sure how old i am. i never feel older,in my mind and spirit i am as i was , young at heart. hope that made you smile because when i remember that i smile at my stupid self.
2006-08-24 08:33:31 · answer #3 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The good laugh is that someone would actually answer seriously for 10 points. Now that is funny.
2006-08-24 08:27:49 · answer #4 · answered by ready4it45 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did the rooster cross the street?
To prove he's not a chicken.
There was a parrot staying in a convent. One day, 3 nuns visited him. Suddenly the parrot shouted "Red! White! Orange!" The nuns were shocked for it was the same color as the underwears they're wearing, so they visited the it again the next day. The parrot shouted "Blue! yellow! pink!" And again it was the colo of their underwears, so they planned not to wear any underwears the next day. When they visited him, the parrot was confused until he shouted "CURLY! WHITE HAIRED! HIGH CUT!"...
2006-08-24 08:36:44 · answer #5 · answered by Rhine 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ladies, did u know that sex is the best breakfast ever? it comes with 2 eggs, 1 sausage, 1 mashroom head with lots of milk.
2006-08-24 08:29:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a
psychologist. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy."
The friend asks, "How so?"
"My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation,
and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!"
2006-08-24 08:25:45 · answer #7 · answered by sakura4eternity 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hmm sorry dont know any jokes but thx for the 2 points
2006-08-24 08:33:09 · answer #8 · answered by vedz666 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What's the difference between a suicidal and a virgin?
The suicidal is trying to die and the virgin is dying to try!
2006-08-24 08:38:52 · answer #9 · answered by marianaadrianaioja 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
2 GUY FRIENDS LIVE NEXT TO EACH OTHER. ONE CALLS THE OTHER TO MAKE PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND. THE OTHER FRIEND DENIES THE INVITE BECAUSE HE WANTS TO CHECK THE MAIL ON SATURDAY. THE OTHER FRIEND CALLS THE MAIL CHECKER GAY AND HANGS UP. GET IT
HE IS GOING TO CHECK THE MAIL (MALE) ON SATURDAY
2006-08-24 08:29:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋