When a child is old enough to ask, is she old enough to know?

Question

For me, when a child is old enough to ask, he is ready for the answer. However, we should answer as simply as possible. Not giving any extra information she didn't ask for.

I'm very much in favor of the truth and have never heard any good reason to justify lying. Do you have those reason? What's your opinion?

Answer 1

I agree.I have always told my children everything they asked me.They are ages 15,12,10,7,5,2 and 2 and they ask for different 'difficult' things.They have asked me about why did I left their father and I told them(of course I explained it a lot complecated to the older ones than the younger ones,but all of them know the truth),what is sex(or how babies appear),the oldest girl has asked me about anti-baby pills(she is sexual active),condoms, HIV,drugs...The youngers ask about sex,friendship, marriage,divorce...And I always say the truth.Now my kids are happy and so am I because they know they can ask me anything and won't get answers like "you are too young to know" or "why do you ask,it's none of your business".

Answer 2

I think it depends entirely on what the child is asking and how old the child is. My niece is 2 and she is constantly asking "what's that?" We usually tell her. However, there could be situations where we didn't tell her anything. What if she were playing outside at the neighborhood park found something dead or drugs paraphernalia or a used condom or whatever. We probably would just try to distract her and get rid of or move away from whatever it was. I don't think a 2 year old needs to know those types of things yet nor do I thinks she would really understand yet.

Answer 3

Personally, the people who shroud their children in "white lies" and half-truths only serve to make their children ignorant. What information would you not want a child to know? You read in the paper frequently of 11 and 12 year old girls getting pregnant. Drugs found in elementary school. Guns and weapons carried in backpacks next to their sack lunches. I say arm your children with knowledge! The answer should be are YOU ready for the answer and explanation your going to have to give your child's questions? Good luck!

Answer 4

When my Daughter was 11 years old,,she came home from school and told me what the other girls in her class were talking about that day..She ask me a question that just blowed my mind. She said that her friends said that the size of a boy (penis) depended on if you got pregnant..2 of her class mates were already pregnant. I had to tell her the truth...That's the first time she had ever ask me a question like that....So I think the earlier the better..The kids are talking among them self about sex and somehow getting the wrong information....Her classmates thought it was Ok to have sex with a boy that had a small penis so they wouldn't get pregnant.

Answer 5

I think that in today's society we greatly underestimate our children's ability to cope and understand. I think we like to see our children excel on a scholastic level but in their personal lives, we tend to keep them young. When they ask a question we give them a half answer or the old 'I'll tell you when you get older' forgetting that our children have the ability to grasp these concepts.

I have misguided my son on one issue, about how his father died, because he was too young at the time of his fathers death to truly understand what suicide was. Now that he is older I am just waiting for the right time to bring up the subject. Probably later this fall after my wedding. But other then that issue I have never lied, misguided him, told him 'I'll tell you when you get older' or spoken in words like he was a baby. I have always used adult words and phrases, and if he didn't understand a word I used I explained it for him. My son was in first grade asking me questions that began with 'Mom, hypothetically speaking.......' He understands the concept of mortality, pedophiles, sex, and a great number of subjects that most children are being shielded from today. He takes walks to the 7-11 two blocks from home and plays outside unsupervised. He is kind, considerate, and generous, respectful and does chores.

So I agree with you that when a child is old enough to ask, they are old enough to know. Sometimes there are topics you have to bring up because they need to have that information and it is something that they wouldn't even think about asking.

Answer 6

I agree with you. I think it's okay to answer your child's questions as long as you don't give details and strictly focus on what he has asked. I think that if you start lying to kids about little things they won't trust that you will be honest about the bigger issues in life and this is when they look to ouside influences wih bad information for answers.

Answer 7

I think you're right.. if they ask it means they're smart enough to have thought about it.. however let's be certain that the child really came up with the question, and that it has not been induced or suggested to them.. and also that the complexity of our reply is withing the grasping ability of the child

Answer 8

when i was pregnant with my second child my 4yo at the time wanted to know how it all happened... i didnt want to lie to her because i think that sets bad grounding for the future but i did find this book called "how did i begin?" by Mick Manning and Brita Granstrom... i found that it answered all the questions very honestly but only giving the bare amout of information so that u didnt over load them with unnecessary or explicit information..

Answer 9

I definately agree, I would rather be the one giving my child the answers to her questions than leaving it up to other people, and then not having a clue what she believes!

Answer 10

dont underestimate children, celebrity. which is what you are doing by saying they dont have the mental capacity for things like that.

I agree with you. however, at some age you should tell them everything, even what they havent asked for(because maybe they didnt know about it or they were afraid to ask).