best joke will get 10 pts. tell me jokes?

Answer 1

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 2

I'll do an adult joke only cause its funny... OK... The setting for this joke is there's a guy baby sitter for the day while the moms out and he is watching over this 8 year old bratty girl who always gets what she wants.. OK well the guy is out mowing the lawn, and comes inside he says to the girl, I'm going to get a shower I'm filthy. The little girl says I wanna get a shower with you, or I'm gunna tell my mommy. So he says NO you can't tell her fine just don't look down... So they get in the shower and of course shes a brat so she looks down and says what is that. He says oh that's just my birdy. So then after the shower he says I'm tired its late I'm going to bed. So the little girl says let me go to bed with you or I'm gunna tell my mommy, so he says fine just don't look under the covers... So then he goes to sleep and wakes up in a hospital room in the worst pain hes ever been in. He looks around and is scared and the little girl walks in the room. He says LITTLE GIRL what happened, where am I, Why am I in such pain. The little girl says Birdy spit on me so I bite Him off...

Answer 3

although i am a democrat and actually like bill clinton, i did see the humor in this and laughed pretty hard:
FWD from my dad
just got my new Lexus 350 and returned to the dealer the next day
complaining that I couldn't figure out how the radio worked. The salesman
explained that the radio was voice activated "Watch this!" he said,
"Nelson"! The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie!"

"On The Road Again" poured out of the speakers.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say,
"Beethoven," I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles,"
I'd get one of their awesome tunes.

One day, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I
swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, "A*sholes!"

The French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Michael
Moore, backed up by John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Bill Clinton on
sax and Ted Kennedy on booze...

Answer 4

there is a doctor who quite famous, everywhere he go, lots of people also ask for his advice until he feels tired. One day he go to a party, n people keep asking for his advice, then he meet a lawyer. He then tell the lawyer about what happen to him. the doctor says: " how come everywhere i go, people keep asking me for advice, actuallly i want to relax in my leisure time. what should i do then?" then the lawyer says : " i used to deal the same thing. when people ask you for advice at your leisure time, just sent them the bill afterwards."

the doctor thinks what a good idea, then he do like the lawyer said. And people stop asking for his advice anymore. But the next days after the party, the doctor receive a billing statement from the lawyer.

Answer 5

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load

of seniors down a highway
when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts,

which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder

again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.


When she is about to hand him another batch again

he asks the little old lady,

" why don`t you eat the peanuts yourself?".

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.


The puzzled driver asks,

"Why do you buy them then?"
The old lady replied,

"We just love the chocolate around them"

Answer 6

this is my experience as a teacher. hope u like this. it was exam time. i was invigilating class 1 & 2. kids. one boy of class 1 entered the hall kept his pencilbox took out one book from his bag opened & kept it under his desk & sat in his place waiting for me to give the question paper. this is the first exam the child was facing. i didn't want to upset him. i just saw the book . it was maths book & we had english exam that day. so, i just kept quiet till he finished his exam. he didnot even look at the book which was kept under his desk. then i asked him " why did u keep the book under the desk ?" he said," my sister told me to do it. she said i will come first if i do like that " i wanted to call his sister & advise her not to teach her brother all this. so i asked him "where is your sister studying " " in this school only " came the reply.i was happy . i asked him " in which class ?" very proudly he told me " she is in pre k.g. she is very intelligent. i always listen to her only "

Answer 7

I don't think that this is a joke but....


If youre lonely while sleeping


don't worry


just think that


someone's hugging you


a girl with red eyes


bleeding lip


wrinkly white face


and is staring at you.....

Answer 8

Why did Lance Bass cross the road?

Because he had his dick stuck in a chicken.

Answer 9

Did you hear about the magic tractor???????????





It turned into a feild!!!!!!


Got to be worth ten points. No? have another then:

Did you hear about the deaf pirate?






He had no buckin-ears!!!!

Answer 10

Guy walks into the bar with his dog...bartender says, "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" So he ties the dog outside. After tipping a few, a cop walks in and asks, "Whose dog is that?"
"Mine, what about her?"
"Your dog is in heat."
"Bullsh*t, I tied her in the shade!"
"No, no, your dog needs to be bred."
"Bread hell, I buy her the best meats in town!"
"You don't understand, your dog needs sex."
"In that case, go ahead, I always wanted a police dog."