drunken stories..........?

Question

10 points goes to the person with the best drunken story. c'mon theres gotta be some funny ones out there

peace

Answer 1

A few years ago I was visiting home and me and some friends went out for a couple (well maybe a few more than a couple) of Christmas drinks. We ended up back at one of the girls's houses and carried on drinking. One of my friends wasn't feeling too good so went outside to be sick. We took a glass of water to him to make him feel better but in his state dropped it and carried on throwing up. Later that night me and my ex were outside having some christmas fun, when I slipped over while changing position, landing straight on the broken pint glass. It punctured through my skin and left me with a huge wound about 10cm deep and the size of the rim of the pint glass on my behind. After being taken back inside the house with my trousers round my ankles I passed out and woke up when the ambulance arrived. I ended up being taken to a plastic surgery unit to have the big hole in my behind stitched up. I have recovered from it and it's now a story told often with friends and family.

Answer 2

Once (and uni in Norwich) we smuggled some absinthe into the club night. Once we left we strolled down to the lake. My mate (we shall call him Manfred- a fake name) was a bit of a softie but trying to make it large and impress. Someone wanted to see me 'go nuts' (apparently I'm scary when I'm mad) so they told him that some other girl would be well impressed if he threw a stick 'skimmed' out over the lake. So he did. Someone then convinced me he had thrown my DKNY handbag (a rare sale-find usually way out of my student budget) into the water. So I made him go and get it. Now, people always tell me that it was the funniest thing they'd ever seen- a 5"1 lass walking a 6" lad INTO a lake and in a schoolmarm voice telling him he 'wasn't coming out till the bag is found!' - luckily they took pity and returned the bag after a few minutes. Manfred was a bit soggy and no longer playing the 'hardman'. Bless.

After some more drink to make chums again, I set out with my gal mates back to out halls. There was, in the blackness, a ditch/trench running the length of the park area by the lake. In an act of devine retribution, I forgot it was there and saw it not in the darkness. Apparently (again, being in the centre of it I didn't have the view others did) one minute 3 girls were strolling, the next there were 2! When they asked whether I would like a hand out of the steep hole in the ground, I replied 'the luck I'm having tonight, I reckon I'll just sleep down here'. Luckily it was a dry night and I was unhurt.

Absinthe is evil.

...I also have stories about Tom Jones signing my mate, the annual 'who can steal a shoplifters will be prosecuted' sign contest, chatting up bakers at 3am so we could get free misshapen buns (that sounds ruder than it actually was), writing a love poem between 2 (straight) blokes who hated each other whilst hammered- and it later winning a valentine's contest for said blokes (who saw the funny side and shared the chocs and wine) ...

I did study by day, and did pass me degree. Phew. So now I work and am too old for such larks.

Answer 3

Well, I guess I have two. 1-Was staying the Malaca (Malaysia)Marriott club suite and went to the lounge and met some people. We started drinking at 5, and by 10 we called the front desk demanding re-open the bar downstairs, not so we could drink, but so we could sing Karaoke. When they refused we said "Do you have any idea who we are? We are very important people." They still refused, so we threw back a couple more rounds and decided to break into the 14th floor pool, which had been closed since 8. Did we have clothes on? Yes. Did my clothes get tossed over the balcony? Yes. Did we make it back to our rooms naked without getting caught? Yes. Did, after an hour a man (clearly in his 60's) knocked on our door and say "What you're doing just isn't cool or appropriate." ? YES. Did we wake up completely shaved down there, including the landing strip? Yes. Did I wake up on sleeping on the couch on what felt and smelt like someone had used the seat cushions for a toilet? You bet I did. 2- We were in Nara, Japan and went to the Felafel King for lunch. We had started drink Chu-hi around 10:30 that morning. Anyway, the "King" had never heard of body shots. I'm not sure what happened after that, but we woke up that night about 300 miles north of where we started, bake in our apartment in Tokyo. We found pictures of ourselves in Rapongi, having sex on the bullet train, drinking with friends at the local bar, and playing on a rotating bed at a sex hotel.

Answer 4

A drunken Scots friend of my best mate went into a Bedsit place to meet his mate and found a female laying on the bed in a room and they had a kiss and cuddle and other things and when he woke up the next morning found out that the girl was disabled and did not have any legs.

Answer 5

Short version:
I stumble out of the bar, having to pee badly. Go behind an apartment complex and whizz on a tire. I look up and there is a man sitting in the back seat of the car - in handcuffs. I look around and 6 officers are staring at me. I interrupted a major drug bust where over $500,000 in cocaine was being siezed along with about 1 million in cash. I made the news that night because the cops arrested me too! Mom was sooooo proud.

Answer 6

This goes on a bit...

New Years Eve a few years ago, and planning to go out - we were already absolutely wasted (apart from teetotal mate). On way down, we find a cat in the roadside (obviously freshly dead) and I stupidly said, "no! it's New Year's Eve! Someone's going to be missing that, we must find the owner. In lieue of no tag, mate has drunken brainwave to knock on people's door nearby, hold up cat (dripping blood, not much of a head) and slur, this yours mate?" Cue many screams and one fainting.

We give up on that and take it to the police staion. "Found this." Was told it was council's problem and to just stick it in a litter bin. As we left, desk bloke called us back and asked us to clear up the blood from the desk, which we dutifully did - with the cat.

Now, we live in a port/fishing town, and the pub we were going to is right on the riverside, so I had the genius idea of burial at sea, as putting it in a bin seemed disrespectful. So, off we go to the riverside, and mate hurls cat into river. Or not. Cat is now hanging off of a mooring rope. Plan B, get lots of stones and try and knock it off of mooring rope, which took a good twenty minutes, and cat duly floats away.

Turn round, people at the pub, pressed up against window with looks of slight horror on their faces. We had to go another pub. :(

Oh, and forgot to add that the teetotal mate was studying to become a vet (he didn't) and before the river incident said if we'd let him have the cat for a bit, "he could tell how long it'd been dead by assessing its temperature". And we know how we do that don't we...

Answer 7

Falling off the gangplank of a docked cargo ship; after the captain had pulled out a bottle at 10:00 in the morning.

Answer 8

Me and my boy was sitting on the porch taking tequila shots. We had to knock off about 3 fifths between the two of us. Some how I drove him home and went to the store for my other friends mom which in all in the neighborhood. My friend woke me up about 3 am telling me she locked up my car. Now I'm in her bed with nothing on but my shirt. The next day her mother said I went to the bathroom and she found me later in her bed naked from the waist down and I got up and went in the other room. I couldn't find my purse later found out I left it at the store just so happened I grew up in the hood so the store owner put it up for me.

Everyone please be careful drinking

Answer 9

A friend from college was on a first date. They were out on his boat. Between the booze & the rough water she started feeling sick so went down below to lay down. The boat was so beautiful with hardwood floors & brass trim, she didn't want to make a mess so she puked in her purse. LMAO! They've been married 8 years now.

Answer 10

I was a bumblebee for Halloween last year...and I drank a lot and i mean a lot!! and actually all I really remember is puking all over my bumblebee costume, the back seat of my friends car and my front lawn...sorry couldn't remember enough to tell you a story ( I was too drunk)