How to amend the sentences in English? (It is a part of my autobiography.)?

Question

During my graduate life, I served as a MIS in Xxx Trade Company and maintained the servers and network. Also, I was a tutor of Dept. of EE, National Central University teaching Digital Logic Design and Programming IC by using the 8051 chip and VHDL in Altera applications.

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thanks a lot.

MIS (Management Information System) is a position.
VHDL (Hardware Description Language)
Altera is a software.
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thanks

Answer 1

During my graduate life,

I don't know what this means--as a graduate student or after graduating


I served as a MIS in Xxx Trade Company

Management Information System is a system, it can't be a position. Maybe you were an Information System Manager? Either way, "served" is bad (especially in a sentence with servers in it), you just "were" a manager or worked on the system. "For the" XXX Company sounds better than "in"

and maintained the servers and network.


Also, I was a tutor of Dept. of EE, National Central University teaching Digital Logic Design and Programming IC by using the 8051 chip and VHDL in Altera applications.


I was a Tutor in the Department of EE (spell it out). Capitalize tutor if that was your job title, otherwise name your title, because "tutor" usually means someone who helps a student with their classes rather than an actual teacher.

I don't understand how the sentence ends, did you teach Digital Logic Design and program IC, or did you teach people how to program IC. I think it's the first--in that case start a new sentence: The courses I taught were DLD and PIC (spell them out). I really don't know how the "by using..." part fits in--is it part of programming IC or is it your teaching method?

Answer 2

During my graduate life I served as an MIS in Xxx Trade Company where I maintained the servers and network. Using the 8051 chip and VHDL in Altera applications I was also a tutor in the EE Dept at the National Central University which teaches the Logic Design and programming IC.

Answer 3

I would say:

During my graduate life, I worked in MIS department in XX Trade company, where I supported the servers and network as analyst for xxx months. During the same time, I also worked as tutor in the Dept. of EE, National Central University, teaching Digital Logic Design and Programming IC (using the 8051 chip and VHDL in Altera applications).

MIS (Management Information System) is a position.
VHDL (Hardware Description Language)
Altera is a software.

Answer 4

This is a little difficult because I don't understand the meanings--but
'During my graduate work I served as a Mis at xxx Trade Company. While here I was responsible for maintaining the servers and network. Also, I was a tutor for the Dept. of ee at National Center University. It was my duty to help with teaching DIgital Design and Programming IC by using the 8051 chip and VHDL in Altera applications.




;

Answer 5

Think of this.

After I graduated from college, I was able to work with xxx trade company as network administrator (maintaining network server). With this acquired knowledge, an opportunity came where I was given a chance to teach as well as to tutor Digital Logic Design and Programming IC, using the 8051 chip and VHDL in Altera applications at the National Central University EE Department.

Answer 6

It is much better to present your CV in a table form than in a composition form. I guarantee your employer will be more satisfied with the info looking like this:

1999 - 2003

- MIS in Xxx Trade Company (maintaining servers and network)
- Tutor of Dept. of EE, National Central University (teaching Digital Logic Design and Programming IC)

PS1: Years are just for example (period of your graduate life).
PS2:The additional info isn't necessary to be put in the CV. You'll have the opportunity to talk about it during the job interview.

Answer 7

Please never use "the" as in "and maintained the servers and network." Simply drop it out of the sentence. Also drop it in "by using the 8051 chip and VHDL in Altera applications." DO put "the" before "Dept of EE" - and write out EE all the way.

Answer 8

this is also my uni. thesis;
my teacher advised me to make the amendments according to the topic and content. I got the best mark 82/100

Answer 9

you might want to explain the acronyms and abbreviations, unless your audience is likely to be familiar with 'em. otherwise, it seems all good.

Answer 10

no clue