Fictional answers only?

Question

Who worships cardamon seeds on a hillock outside Cardiff?

Answer 1

Ah, the hillock dwellers of Old Cardiff town, commonly know as Cardaminions, a name derived from, some would say, the rather un Holy worship of the Cardamon seed or to give it's Latin title Caerdomanei. The Cardaminions were founded when two lowland dwelling factions merged into one combined tribe after being forced onto the hillock overlooking Cardiff, by the English. Food was in short supply at the time, with the only human sustainable source of food being the Caerdomanei seed, which could be ground into a coarse flour and baked for bread, fermented into a foul tasting mead, or crushed and sprinkled over meat to offer a taste similar to pepper which masked the taste of the rancid meat. Due to the seed offering continued life to the tribe, it was immediately raised to a higher status and thereon after perceived as a worshipful substance for decades to come. Many slight variations of the name arose through time, eventually settling upon cardamon. Quite why the dwellers did not choose to title themselves after the name of the person who initially discovered the seed and it's amazing qualites remains a mystery. Although I don't think that the ' Brian's ' has the same ring to it.

Answer 2

The Welsh Cardamon Seed Worshipers Cult
( Hillock Chapter )

Answer 3

There is three old men who roll themselves in cow muck. They then roll themselves in hair from the barbers and then they smoke six hundred fags over a two day period.
Armed with their new scent they roam over Cardiff towards some hillocks dressed in Tarzan style loincloths. On the way to their destination they grab hold of young beautiful girls and kiss them for sixty seconds each. Each lucky girl is blessed with honking breath, mucky handprints on their clothes and a stress disorder that will last a lifetime.
They will sometimes flash to the older females of the area to see their faces go red. If a females face goes red they promptly stick their heads in a dustbin and shout bum me bum me in a bristollian accent. They will do this for approximately sixty seconds.
Once they start again on their journey, they avoid any streams, rivers, basically water un less it is in a drain.
Once they get to a hillock, from their loincloths they produce cardamon seeds. They gaze in wonder at the large brown seed before hitching up their loincloths and administering the seeds like a supposatory.
This is the ritual of the Cardamon seed which takes place as an initiation ceremony. After drinking several gallons of mead at the local inn new boys from the local rugby club are set upon their task for the amusement of the rest of the team. Apparently it shows that you have balls.

Answer 4

Aye, it is Domigan Vitalok that worships cardamon seeds, but he worships on a hillock outside Brentshire, not Cardiff!

Answer 5

The cardons of couse, they are the dwellers of Cardiff.

Cardiff was traditionally known as Cardine. And the people who lived there worshipped Cardamon.

They passed these practises from generation to generation.

Answer 6

Who, indeed.

The shadowy figure is a 2,789-year-old Welsh saint by the name of Dai The Renamer (after his 2,500th birthday, he became known as 'Never-Say-Dai'; the joke wore thin after three years, and he then reverted to his current appellation.)

Dai's efforts are not, in fact, directed at Cardiff; he merely lives there, and Cardiff is a problem that he's already solved, shortly before settling Carmarthen, Carno and Cardigan.

Dai's mystic powers enable him to conjure forth from cardamom seeds, by dint of intense prayer, an essence called 'Carxcxyz' (thankfully, the 'xcxyz' is silent.)

Any human exposed to this essence develops an irresistible urge to add the suffix 'Car-' to the name of his town, and will campaign vociferously to make this happen.

Why is Dai doing this, you may ask.

Is he evil, or eccentric, or just plain silly?

None of these.

He is merely a patriot.

A patriot who wishes to see all of Wales united under a more systematic, sane nomenclature.

Progress has been slow, dear traveller, but keep the faith.

The day you say 'Carpool' instead of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll, and 'Carjacking' instead of Llanrhaeadr-ym-Mochnant, is the day you will offer a silent prayer of thanks to Saint Dai The Renamer.

Answer 7

On a hillock,
Outside Cardiff,
People worship Cardomon
Then they make a
Massive curry
And the seeds are
used and gone
Oh my darlin' etc etc etc

Answer 8

Lord Shri Gauranga

Answer 9

A welsh man called Dai Llewellyn Idris Morgan {the younger}

Answer 10

Old Man Prendergast of Purple Custard Lane as he beats the dog of burberry with a wooden stick of justice, lamenting in the placid feilds of System of a Down as they tear into our eye sockets with gooey blobs of demise and disturbance while licking kittens faces trying to see meaning in the yellow taxi cab of life while searching for the wallet of phyisophical meaning but only finding a lint of question that's been there for 27 years only to grow a little linty moustache and invade the milkman as he does his daily rounds.

And THAT is why you can't have sex with the milkman.