I was dumped on by a boyfriend (cheating) badly around 14 years ago and since then I have been extra careful who I dated - I am now dating a superb guy who has always been honest in all his relationships (I met him via my best friend so know about this) but I still find it difficult to trust. Previously I have dated guys I have not been so bothered about (I was in the driving seat) but now Im with someone I really care about I find it so difficult. He said to me how much he thought about me, etc, but still I cant seem to stop worrying about every female exes and acquintances. Its pathetic - how do I stop?
2006-08-23 22:07:56 · 12 answers · asked by Saucy B 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just think that it is very unfair for that superb guy for you not to trust him when he is worthy of your trust. No guy would ever like that. You ex-boyfriend who dumped you is not that guy you are falling for. Don't let him suffer because of your bad experience with your ex-bf. He has nothing to do with it.
Everyone deserves to be trusted for that matter and the only time that we should lose our trust on anybody is when he fails to show us that he is really trustworthy. So, don't let your future romantic relationship be a haunted place of your distrust for men. It will make your life a nightmare. In stead, give all your trust to that superb guy who may be the man you are meant to be with all your life. Don't ever live in the past again. Live in the present with your future in mind and I just hope that your future is filled with happiness and romance with that guy you are dating right now. Good luck.
2006-08-23 22:18:38 · answer #1 · answered by Ruzzo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You had a weasel of a boyfriend before, it doesnt mean you'll be unlucky enough to be lumbered with another!
If you go thru life worrying that the man you have a relationship with, is going to cheat on you, then you will probably end up a very lonely old spinster!
Life is full of risks or chances, just forget the idiot you were treated like an **** and enjoy what you have with the man your dating.
2006-08-23 22:24:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either for this relationship or any other future one, you will need to work through these issues. I can understand why you have felt the way you have but in order to have another relationship this will be important to do. I agree with some other answers that if you can't sort it out yourself and you've spoken with your boyfriend, you should go an see someone professionally. Good luck and enjoy your life and love.
2006-08-23 22:16:55 · answer #3 · answered by snowfoxx71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him go with the flow. If you can't get over the past then communicate with him and/or seek help from therapist or clergy.
Love has a way of making you forget the past and live for the future of the person you care about.
2006-08-23 22:12:08 · answer #4 · answered by texbow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too have the same problem.
My first serious girlfriend cheated on me when I was young and dumb.
The first one I lived with, who wanted to get married, ended up cheating before we got married.
I waited many years before getting into another serious relationship where I wanted to get married.
Along the way, I had 6 more women ask me to marry them.
I was afraid of getting burnt again, so I told them all no.
Guess what, the one I wanted to marry, ended up cheating on me too.
Don't be like me and wait too long. Just do it.
2006-08-23 22:35:52 · answer #5 · answered by alysonhell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U are what u think. its becoz u keep thinking about the past! let go if it. release all the anger u kept after the disapponitment otherwise u will always be a prisoner of the past. Explain to ur dude what u going thru, he's the best person to help u.
2006-08-23 22:12:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to forget the past n i think it stays with you forever but you gotta try pushing it to back of your mind,this lad obviously loves you and ill bet you love him because u wouldn't worry if ya didn't,i know i bin there.Basically its all bout risk,if he is worth it then take his word when he tells u how he feels.This is harsh but my theory is 'if he cheats he's gone'.Trust is hard when it involves your heart.
2006-08-23 23:07:53 · answer #7 · answered by kasey c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is more that you have lost confidence in yourself and in you ability to function in a relationship. Until you can deal with the issues within you, and see this man for himself and his qualities.
Talk to him and tell him how you were hurt in the past and the issues that you are dealing with. He will probably reassure you.
2006-08-23 22:19:37 · answer #8 · answered by natasha * 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, i went thru this before. but it was the guy who was feeling such.
i felt loved by him, but he was afraid the same things wld happen again. seriously, he didnt look like he wanted to get over it, so we broke up.
u have to try honey. and he has to be patient. if he really loves u, tell him to wait. if he waits a lifetime, i'm sure by then u wld have gotten over it, and u 2 can finally be happy together.
good luck!
2006-08-23 22:11:26 · answer #9 · answered by mbd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont blame him for things that are in your past, its not his fault.
2006-08-23 23:56:43 · answer #10 · answered by mummy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋