a joke..no offense...:)?

Question

A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to
each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each
morning would look in his garden and pick up one
of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he
looked into his garden and saw that the hen had
laid an egg in the Englishman's garden.

He was about to go next door when he saw the
Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up
to the Englishman and told him that the egg
belonged to him because he owned the hen. The
Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid
on his property.

They argued for a while until finally the
Scotsman said, 'In my family we normaly solve
disputes by the following actions: I kick you in
the groin and time how long it takes you to get
back up, then you kick me in the groin and time
how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets
up quicker wins the egg.'

The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman
found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on,
he took a few steps back, then ran toward the
Englishman and kicked as hard as he could in the
balls.

The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his
nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually
the Englishman stood up and said, 'Now it's my
turn to kick you.'

The Scotsman said, 'Keep the damn egg.'

Answer 1

I like your sense of humor.
This story is very funny.
Keep going on.

Answer 2

U hv good sense of humour.
Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 3

Always worth a Howl - - - it has been used for nearly every 'foreing' group - - - the last time I heard it it was a Missouran and a Texan who were neighbors. Peace.

Answer 4

man, that was offensive with a capital 'F'.... er, anyway, i liked the joke, i am still giggling, listen, hmm hmm hmm hmm, see, why you people no lika?? you retarded?? dropped on head as child?? me no lika yous guys!! boooo to you!!! keep up the fancy writings, you make me sooooo proud, you are quite the writer!! you are coming on here to give to the community, to share your humor and these Neanderthals only tear you down, i think they wanna be you, you think??

Answer 5

Good joke!! Keep it up.

Don't worry about offending anybody, just tell your joke.

No matter what the is joke is about, someone is bound to be offended.

They will get over it.

Answer 6

sorry but a scotsman would not give up the egg so easy.... ha, ha!

Answer 7

Some facts about testicle trauma:
-It may cause the victim to throw up.
-It may cause the victim to passout.
-It may cause “testicular torsion”, by initiating a muscle spasm; this is rare but is a medical emergency, testicular torsion may not happen immediately after the trauma.
-Testicles move freely and are slippery to avoid trauma, but if the trauma sustained by the testicle is hard enough (50Kg), the testicle will POP(rupture), and then probably must be removed. This is rare, and usually is associated with sport injuries when not wearing a cup. Even when can be repaired, the resulting inflammation will turn most of the contents into permanent damaged material.
-Even a medium force trauma will cause the destruction of spermatozoa-production cells. It will not cause sterility because those cells are in massive quantities, however those cells do not regenerate, it is permanent damage. And if hit many times or too hard, it may cause infertility, because the sperm count/mobility must be acceptable in order to get a woman pregnant by natural means.
-Will also reduce spermatozoa production as a result of hormonal changes, one of those changes is testosterone reduction.
-May rupture major blood vessels, and draining the scrotum will be needed. Or microscopic veins inside the testicles, this will permanently destroy cells indirectly.
-In case of very extreme trauma, the testicle/s can swell for more than a weak, with resulting excruciating pain and severe damage from prolonged heavy inflammation. The swelling reminds me of mumps, but in the case of mumps it will cause sterility for sure, and the testicles(usually just one) will shrink too, very sad and scary.
-In some cases may cause the antibodies to start attacking the person own sperm.
-It even may cause death as result of PAIN, heart will fail right away or will begin to fail(heart beat will became fast and irregular, usually face and lips very white) until finally stops, this is called “neurogenic shock”, and it is not that rare like people think, most of the times the victim is saved because gets medical attention on time, it will need shocks to the heart using the defibrillator!.
-Among other symptoms, the victim will feel shock/panic/confusion/anger, violated/abused, embarrassment/humiliation; those feelings will be stronger if young; especially if they do not know or never heard about “kicking in the groin”. The victim may seem ok, but will try to hide those feelings. It depends on the person and from the situation. This will lead to Post-Traumatic Stress, the worse symptoms may only reveal a year later! People forget about emotional trauma, but it is the worse, and will not go away like the physical suffering. All men that “like” the fetish called “ballbusting”, have some kind of mental or emotional disorder; and the most common cause for that is because it happened to them in the past, they are physiologically very ill, it may change their life’s completely. The emotional trauma of being assaulted in such a private area, or the physical suffering, or the fact that it is a barbaric act, should be more than enough for girls not to do that; but the sad truth is that the only thing that make some(not all for sure) girls think twice before doing that is the permanent physical damage. It is a form of rape, male rape.
-Physical violence it is only acceptable if you are trying to defend/escape yourself from someone that is trying to use physical violence on you, and you may only use the necessary violence to ESCAPE harm. And kicking someone in the groin is only “acceptable” if someone is trying to kill you, or rape you(only extreme EMERGENCIES), not because you are pissed off, and most certainly not for fun like it is most of the times, keep it a fantasy. Why you girls don’t tell your Dads what you did, I am sure they will be PROUD of you.
-Ironically, if someone is trying to kill you or rape you, probably is expecting that defense from you, and so you will not be able to kick him.
-This is becoming too popular, specially in schools, girls get sexually aroused by that!. Women look sweet, but…….they are very mean and cruel by nature, they just try to hide it, it is very sad. Lucky for women men are not very vindictive like women are, and men are not very aggressive towards women like women are towards men, in fact men are very protective towards women. Men like to see and touch women sexual organs, they do not like to hurt them or to see it happen to women.
Women are so much sensitive about their sexual organs and sexuality, but then do that to men and laugh!
-And nothing happens to these sex offenders because they are women, just one of many double standards and laws that always treat men worse!

“women justice” is sick, how about if it was the other way around?!!!!!!!
Girls answers regarding this issue are always disgusting!

Answer 8

ha ha

Answer 9

Its too long i'll read it later

Answer 10

Good.