do you think its wrong to end a relationship based on race?

Question

It wasn't an official relationship, but I liked this girl for a while and I just found out she felt the same way and it was headed for a real relationship. But I cut her off all of a sudden. I didn't give her a reason, other than I am too busy, but deep down it was b/c she is white and I am black. I know it may sound wrong, but thats how I was raised...my dad working for the "man" and being taught white is evil and all that. Anyways, what should I do? If anything

Answer 1

I'm sorry to be harsh, but, yes it is wrong, and racist. If you love her, and she loves you, what does it really matter? My father was the same as your father, he felt that white people were all evil. But what he failed to teach me was that black people can be and many are just as racist if not more sometimes, to other blacks. Screw all that race crap, be with the one you love, no matter how many biggots try to talk trash.

I'm black and my wife is hispanic, people give us dirty looks all the time, but we are one of the very few truly happily married people out there I'm not about to leave her just because, for example, black girls will give me dirty looks. Heck when I was single, black girls didn't even want anything to do with me. The same goes for my wife with hispanic guys.

So as I said, forget the race crap, be with who you love. Sometimes it takes some bravery.

Answer 2

If it occurred to you to cancel any plans about dating her then you were probably right to do just that. Obviously, you would have some issues to overcome; and sometimes it can just be simpler to date someone else without there being any issues to overcome. It isn't like the relationship was in progress. Its easier to not get involved than to go ahead and get involved and then have to deal with complications.

If you think as your father did that "white is evil" then - really - good thing you didn't follow through on any relationship. Maybe you don't believe as your father did, but maybe you have some reservations for whatever reason.

I don't think you did anything wrong. You just followed your own instincts. It is a fact that if a mixed-race couple gets married and has children things can be a little more complicated (not necessarily horriblly complicated, but there are a few issues).

If there was just something that didn't sit right with you when you thought about the potential relationship, I think its good you didn't follow through. Some day you may think differently or maybe you never will. Either way, a relationship shouldn't be sending you "alarm bells" before you're even into it, so do nothing. Maybe stay friends if you can.

Answer 3

Yes, it is wrong to end a relationship because of race. Just because race is an issue with your father does not mean that it has to be an issue with you too. You obviously like her if that is the only reason you are ending it so I think you should carry on seeing her. Although throughout history the white man has done some awful evil things, that was many many years ago. You can't punish this girl for something that she neither took part in nor condoned.

Answer 4

Well, you should ask yourself. Despite wrong or right - racist is how you've lived so long and it is kinda difficult to do things agains it. Now you should think and asked yourself if this girl worth it, and if you have the courage to stand against your family - and maybe even yourself and your beliefs. It's not gonna be easy. It is you who will walk the way so it has to be you who make the decision. If you think it's gonna make you happy, then go for it. But if you think the consequences are too hard for you to handle, then call it off. No one can tell if you're right or wrong - only you can tell, because it's your life. No one can really tell how it feels to be in your positions and it is you who deal with the consequences of your decisions - not other people. So, think carefully and good luck!

Answer 5

If race was not an issue in the beginning then why did it become one? I dated a mixed race girl in high school and when I met her father for the first time (he was black) she asked me later that evening if it mattered. I told her I was dating her not her father. Maybe you should educate your family that it is not the color of your skin but what is in your heart that matters.

And most people only think white people are racist.

Answer 6

If marrying within your race is a serious issue in your family, then maybe you did the right thing. In general, however, I wouldn't end a relationship based strictly on racial issues. People are people, regardless of color.

Answer 7

So you are letting what your father say about white people stopping you from dating outside your race that's just not right you have to live your own life and make that decision yourself and my father had some things to say about black people and that didn't stop me from dating black women and that's my decision to date outside my race and no one will chance that.

Answer 8

If you feel that way about whites end the relationship it will only end up hurting you both...I just wish all of us could get passed the color thing...why can't we be the same be are just humans

Answer 9

most older people frown on interacial relationships. but if you really believe that white man is the devil, then you need to pull ur head out of ur butt. get ur own views dont just take what ur parents tell u as absolute truth

Answer 10

something was wrong with the white girl for dateing a black guy anyway.