I'm 26 and I have 3 kids... 8,4, and 2. It really feels nice and cool to be friends with them but sometimes I have a hard time doing reprimands when they do something that ain't right. Often i had to ask their dad to do that part. I'm worried that when they grow up it would be complicated and they would not listen to my rules anymore.............
2006-08-23 20:55:31 · 21 answers · asked by beatrice 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It's best to stop their bad behavior now. You are the boss, so take control and don't let them rule over you. Don't think that you are being too mean. Children will later understand that you were strict because you loved them.
2006-08-23 20:57:20 · answer #1 · answered by p_boxter03 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's fine and dainty to be friends with your children but when it's time to lay down the law that's what you have to do... Even if that means they don't like you for a little while they will get over it and things will be normal again you have to be consistent however if you say your going to do something as a punishment "i.e spank them, take a favorite toy away, no t.v" you have to go through with it and believe me they will learn if they don't want to have the punishment happen then they will listen....
My son is 2 1/2 years old and he already knows if mommy has to get to 3 when she is counting and get up then he is going to get a spanking on his diaper or a time out..." I'm pregnant and high risk so I don't personally feel like getting up all the time" All I have to say is Tristan do you want a " spanking" he goes no then stops right then in there...
If you don't hardly discpline when you make rules and let them do what they want then it will take a little bit of time but they will learn you mean business if you follow thur with your rules and consquence EVERYTIME they do something they know they're not suppose to....Even the 2 year old he knows how to push your buttons also they all do...lol Good luck and hope it works out
2006-08-24 04:04:14 · answer #2 · answered by rochelle s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of parents today want to be their childs friend, and get lost in the transition. This is really a simple problem to correct. Just remember that you are the parent, and parents can't be the friend of their children if they want the respect of their children.
By having the father be the disciplinarian, you are teaching the children that when they dont get what they want from one parent to go to the other for the answer they really want. That is how you teach a child to become manipulative. You need to be the parent, and the role model. Understand that sometimes that this means that you will hurt your childrens feelings, but that is reality. Don't teach your children that there are always win win situations to life. They need to learn that there are always consiquences to any and all decisions in life. Since your children are still young, you still have time to correct the problem, but if you wait to long, you will have brats that dont have respect for autority, and it could actually get worse.
2006-08-24 04:47:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yea, you definitely need to be less a friend and more a parents. You're kids are still pretty young, and therefore need more guidance from you, then friendship.
Later in life, when they are teenagers, you can become partly a friend...they'll feel more comfortable with you, but they will remember the strict (but not unfair) mother from their childhood that they don't want to cross. This will make it so they respect, feel that you will respect them, they'll be able to talk to you but they will also know that they can't...I dont know, completely go against your rules or there will be consequences.
P.S. Don't make your husband the bad guy. He'll resent you later for it.
2006-08-25 16:16:07 · answer #4 · answered by rachael b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be worried, because you are not helping them in the long run. Thats the biggest problem with parents today, they all want to be "cool" and be their friend. Well guess what they still make fun of you behind yr. back and you will never be cool because you are the parent and they know that, and they are okay with that. Don't let your husband be the bad guy all the time.
2006-08-24 05:49:41 · answer #5 · answered by wondering 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 29, I also have 3 kids (10, 5, & 3). So I am practically in your shoes with this one. When you have a child so young (as we both did) It is hard to discipline them because you have been through so much together. It is almost like you grew up together. They teach you as much as you teach them. You form more of a friendship bond with them than a disciplinary one.
My children are great kids and of course they have their problems with behaving. What I find works best for me is to dicsipline them first, let them get over it and then TALK to them about what happened and your reasons for what you done. You can learn alot just by listening to them. I have to disagree with the statements about everyone saying, "THey don't need a Friend, they need Punishment" because I BELIEVE that they do need to be friends with you. In this day and time, You have got to have an open communication relationship with your children or you will NEVER know what is going on in thier lives. Its a dangerous world as we all know and I am proud of the fact that i am a friend to my son and he has NO PRoblem talking to me about what he is going through.
So be their friend, but also let them know who is in charge. Its not a hard line to draw. Let them know the rules and punish them when they do not follow them. But most importantly, always be there for them and let them know that even though you had to spank them or put them on restriction or send them to bed early, that you still love them and will always be there.
By the way, My kids are honor roll kids (The two that are in school. and we are all VERY Active in our community. So I know my method works for my family!
2006-08-24 12:23:41 · answer #6 · answered by Neicy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't have it both ways. You can either be a friend or be a parent. You kids will have plenty of friends, they need a parent. They need someone to set boundaries, limits, and expectations. If you keep this up, your kids will grow up to have issues with authority and they will not listen to you when you tell them they can't stay out til midnight on a school night. You have to be firm with them so that you can relax and have fun after they know what you expect of them and what their limits are. Do it now before it's too late.
2006-08-24 10:42:31 · answer #7 · answered by disneychick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you're young DOESN'T mean you don't have to be a parent to you're children. I'm 25 and my children are 9,6,4,3 &2 and if I don't discipline them then nobody will. They know perfectly well that they can talk to me about anything, but they also know that mama is NOT dumb and I sure as hell don''t put up with any B.S. So grow up and start being a parent
2006-08-24 04:00:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not supposed to be friends with your children until they are adults otherwise the boundaries are blurred hence your problem. You can still be cool mum without blurring the boundaries. But if you dont start with the discipline now then by the time they hit their teens you will have no end of problems
2006-08-24 03:57:59 · answer #9 · answered by boo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should be worried because they are going to grow up thinking that you're a pushover. They won't listen when you try to discipline them and they won't respect you. Parents are not supposed to be friends with their kids.
2006-08-24 10:59:01 · answer #10 · answered by Mollywobbles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋