I am in the process of writing the new new testament. I'm making a few changes, scrubbing Jesus and making up some stories about my life. I've got this end chapter called Revulsion in which all those people who previously believed in Christ as the son of God become eternally cast into the pit of burning pigs where they yell in pain for eternity. Nice - eh. I, on the other hand, spend all my days picking those special souls who deserve to live in paradise forever. Such as Gandi, Steven Pinker, John Gray 'LSE', Richard Dawkins, Thom Yorke, Charles Manson, Spinoza and Lucifer.
2006-08-23 20:39:35 · 15 answers · asked by janemarsdel 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
this is a joke, right?
2006-08-23 20:41:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey - here is a revision - pigs are for jews, and muslims.
as a christian caste me into a place called heaven where all I can do is worship jesus in person. 24/7
Now that must be punishment in your eyes.
good luck in your book. If you need more hints on how to be annoying, ask an atheist
2006-08-23 20:42:55 · answer #2 · answered by Slave to JC 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Frankly, you're just copying the style of the present New Testament. In other words, you're just making anything up that you want, and writing it down!
2006-08-23 21:04:44 · answer #3 · answered by MrZ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i might read it but i sure wouldn't follow it. The Bible is to be followed because it's authored by the Holy Spirit.
Nickster
2006-08-23 21:29:37 · answer #4 · answered by Nickster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR BIBLE WILL GO DOWN IN FLAMES LIKE YOU IF YOU DON'T CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE THERE IS NO OTHER BIBLE AND THER IS NO OTHER WAY NO ONE KNOWS GODS' ULTIMATE PLANS YOU SEEM TO HAVE A GOOD IMAGINATION SO PUT IT TO GOOD USE FOR THE GOOD OF ,MANKIND AND FOLLOW THE PATH LEST YE BE LOST IN THE EVERLASTING PIT OF BURNING
2006-08-23 20:51:16 · answer #5 · answered by jkpoet2@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get it on Oprah's books to read club, and i just might buy a copy!
2006-08-23 20:41:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you forgot hitler
he desirves a throne on the 3rd highest pit in heaven
2006-08-23 20:41:28 · answer #7 · answered by rosary 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
here is an idea for your book
just like god killed his own son for the sins of all mankind likewise all christians will be put in hell for the sins of people who dont belong to christianity!!
2006-08-23 20:46:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds interesting...
2006-08-23 20:42:19 · answer #9 · answered by Brittany C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like Jon H. above I do pity you, because you will be judged one day for your blasphemy.
2006-08-23 20:51:16 · answer #10 · answered by angelcat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The funny thing is one day you will called to account over this type of behavior, and I doubt you will be able to talk your way out.
I pity you.
2006-08-23 20:41:26 · answer #11 · answered by Jon H 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋