For some reason, I get bored of sex alot, and have to be coerced into having it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gay, and I'm not religious, and I LOOOOOVE women with a fiery passion. For some reason though, I'd just rather cuddle most of the time, sex is kind of like a sporting event to me, or a really romantic encounter, I don't really like to just 'have it' for no damned reason.
When a girl starts pushing me into it I sometimes get really annoyed, but persist because I don't want to hurt her feelings, even though I'd rather not do it. It's not a life-shattering problem or anything, I'm thankful that women want to have sex with me, but I do find it odd that I am not horny often and am girl-crazy at the same time.
Are there any girls out there who've dated a guy like this? Any guys with the same problem?
Perhaps it's because i'm concerned with college and working? Perhaps because it takes alot of energy and I'm lazy? I love sex, but don't want very often.
2006-08-23 20:09:11 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Someone brought up a point I hadn't considered earlier. That is that I don't like being on top. That is totally true, and I really don't enjoy BJs and having her on top much. I love the idea of having a girl on top, and BJs, but most girls don't do it very well, so there's no action to go with the image. Just another facet of the issue, I don't think it's the full and actual cause, though. Good point though! thanks for reminding me.
2006-08-23 20:16:44 · update #1
Someone else brought up ANOTHER point. That is that sometimes I'll still like masturbating with a girl rather than nailing her. She said another guy had been like that. But now I don't even want that, I just want to be left alone, but still be around girls.
2006-08-23 20:18:45 · update #2
Oh, and one more response. I do have normal sex, and the girl will definitely come back for more, but I just don't enjoy it as much as her. Usually girls orgasm before me, it used to be at the same time back in highschool. But i'm still performing fine, the steps aren't tough and I worry more about the girl's pleasure than my own, which is because I don't have a big ego, and worry about my performance.
2006-08-23 20:22:46 · update #3
my last boyfriend was like that i have to say it does make a girl feel unattractive if all they have known were horndogs lol
but dont do it just not to hurt her feelings tell her how you feel
maybe your stressed out taking any new meds my boyfriend got on some med and wanted to have sex non stop but when he stopped taking one and took a different one he didnt want to have sex at all
maybe your bored with the girls your having sex with have sex because you want to and she wants to and the mood is right if the girl truly likes you she will stick with you
dont be ashamed all guys go through a stage like this
2006-08-23 20:24:02 · answer #1 · answered by crazie_for_ever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, can't relate....me and my bf have sex at least 3 times a day(that's the minimum)...and it had been consistent for over a year now....never perfunctory of course, we do it cause we cant seem to have enough of each other, it's crazy...actually we've been expecting it to kind of "stabilize" in time...but it hasnt yet...which is good too, hehe...
Maybe it depends on your partner? Perhaps you feel 'pressured' to perform cause you think she expects that you have sex all the time or more than you do...that can affect your drive as it becomes almost like a chore, something you 'have to' do rather than want to do...
I would suggest that you do it with a girl whom you like but isnt as much into sex (much like you or some even less interested, real or pretend lol)....see how you'd react to that....
2006-08-24 04:09:48 · answer #2 · answered by buttercryfly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, at last i meet my kinda guy! anyway just kidding, i really undrstand ur situation but hey am a gal n most of the time we prefer to just cuddle, kiss etc. Most guys i would say are unlike u n want sex all the time but as gals we cant just let them because they want to, it has to be because the gal also wants. I would give that same advice, dont have sex because the gal wants, n u r afraid of hurting her n instead hurt ur self. if u dont want then dont do it. I think u r very normal unlike most guys n i would advise u not to have sex just for the sake, it may make u hate it n will affect u at a time when u need to have it often so pliz concetrate on ccollege n have it when u want only, all d best
2006-08-24 03:19:09 · answer #3 · answered by aasweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with they way you feel. I would date a guy like that. You should continue to stay focused on your future first. In spite of what people may think sex is good but it is not the be all to end all when it comes to a relationship. I do however believe that when a girl pushes up on you if you don't want to have sex don't. Because believe you me your probably are not making it that good for her. If you don't think this is a possibility do to your ego ask yourself. How many of the women that pushed you came back more than once again?
2006-08-24 03:17:25 · answer #4 · answered by D 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The fact is that you are looking for the right kind of satisfaction. I have had the same problem earlier. When I met the right girl, I am unto it very easily. Give yourself some free time away from sex and one day you will really enjoy the feeling and long for more of it like everyone.
2006-08-24 03:15:00 · answer #5 · answered by Chakravarthy S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Unfortunately, you're not the only one. It's called a low sex drive, and it's not unusual or unnatural.
I am, however, tired of it, because I DO want to have sex all the time. To that end, I am starting a list of Men Who Really Do Want to Do It All The Time, because I don't think they exist. I'll be testing all applicants personally. Thank you.
2006-08-24 15:47:17 · answer #6 · answered by emma_UK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think sex drive can change with age, or because of lifestyle.
I did notice an extreme drop off in my sex drive when I was with a woman that made everything so scripted and boring, that it just didn't do it for me. She was the type of girl that took off her clothes, and laid down, and was like, "are we going to have sex or not?
I don't know, I think a lot of my loss of interest in sex is because I'm kind of lazy (and cheap).....taking girls out is effort, and costs money.
2006-08-24 03:14:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normal, brother. I have the same thing going on. It sounds like you have more priorities than sex. So what. Having a good time, flirting, talking, or just holding your girl is quite good enough. I think you have the right idea, to be honest.
2006-08-24 03:17:40 · answer #8 · answered by theenormusnorm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there's anything wrong with you. You want to complete college and have a future. Based upon a lot of questions on this site, many people only think about sex, worry about sex, are concerned about size, etc. Kind of refreshing to hear that someone has something else going for him.
2006-08-24 03:14:28 · answer #9 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that's fine. you're not abnormal. there's nothing wrong with not having sex for no damned reason. in fact you should not have sex at all for that reason.
don't have sex with a girl just because you don't want to hurt her feelings, cause you're only cheating yourself.
maybe your sexual drive has taken a downward shift, but that's all, it's not a problem or anything.
maybe it's because you're always on top and you're lazy and you'd like to be on the bottom for once...lol i don't know...or like u said it coudl be school and work on your mind.
i've dated guys who can't get it up, but that' s about it
2006-08-24 03:13:25 · answer #10 · answered by chapped lips 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋