He had two previous marriages and was used really bad. I've told him I'm not them and not to judge me by their faults. He says he loves me and isn't looking for anyone else. Should I give it more time,if so how much more time or should I try to move on.We did spilt up a couple of yrs ago for two months.He said he needed space, so I gave it to him.But he started calling me and I wouldn't answer and he kept leaving me messages crying and saying he loves me and misses me and to please call him. I waited a couple of weeks before I called him. When I called he said he wants to be with me and loves me very much. Well we got back together and 2 more yrs have past.If he loves me why doesn't he want to commit. I have no problem with a12-18 mo engagement but I don't want to date another 2-3 yrs with no commitment, what should I do?
2006-08-23 19:27:27 · 11 answers · asked by sandy8dalejr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
2 bad 4 u
2006-08-23 19:29:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down with him when hes in a good mood and have a real heart to heart talk with him.Tell him you love him very much and its time he makes up his mind to what he wants from you.You waited long enough for him and now its his move.If hes going to give you an answer you don't like,then you have to be hard and strong(sure its gonna hurt but cry afterwards when hes gone) and tell him you want to start dating others because your not getting anywheres with him and your getting older and its time you settled down.Let me tell you,we can love many guys in our lifetime until we really find the one we love forever and you will know. And trust me there is the right one for every one.Just ya gotta be there at the right time and place.It will happen.
If he don't wake up to the fact you want him and he crys I'm not ready......Then you can see the writing on the wall and its time to wake up hon before its too late.
2006-08-23 19:47:47 · answer #2 · answered by Candi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ur boyfriend seems to have some issues especially buggage from past marriages. What u truly want is a comitment Right, then tell him that u need a commitment and nothing else. if he trully loves you, then he will think twice abt his decisions but if he loves u and feers commitment, then am sorry u will have to let him go. sad as it may seem, some guys trully fear commitment, ie commitment phobia but they can over come it if they trully love some1. surely in five years he should know that u r not his x-wives. all the best lady
2006-08-23 19:40:27 · answer #3 · answered by aasweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you obviously understand that he's been hurt and is a little trigger shy so to speak. if you try to force him into it, you will force him away. you have to let things take their natural course. If i were you i would enjoy the fact that i found someone that i love so much. I had a friend in a somewhat similar situation. she pushed she pushed she pushed she relaxed and a couple of months later everything worked out.
you cant hurry love, you just have wait
love dont come easy, its a game of give and take.
PEACE
2006-08-23 19:34:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to rush because with two failed marriages behind him, he's obviously gun shy. You have to talk to him. Tell him that you aren"t saying you need to get married right this second, but you need to know that's the way it's heading in the next few years. That's completely fair of you. If he can't commit to that, you need to move on with your life solo.
2006-08-23 19:34:03 · answer #5 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this guy has some unresolved issues with his previous marriages. Could be he is still in a lot of pain. Tell him you want to be his wife, his best friend, his soul mate, his pleasure dome, and give him soothing kisses. Does this guy not want to be your husband? You are tight to tell him that you are not his previous wives.
2006-08-23 19:58:43 · answer #6 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 years is too long...If he doesnt know what he wants after say 3 years, its time to pack up and hit the road...it sounds like he's trying to have his cake and eat it too...if you pressure him to marry you, then he'll only propose cuz u want it...he has to want it himself and it doesnt sound to me as if he does...he can't keeping using his two previous relationships as an excuse...he obviously isn't cut out for marriage and if you were the problem, you wouldn't still be around after 5 years.
2006-08-23 19:35:16 · answer #7 · answered by Chingona 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not force him and relax if he doesn't make up his mind help him on the way to do soo. talk in relationship it is lways a key. sj him how he feel and what he want and then you will know the answer.
2006-08-23 19:39:55 · answer #8 · answered by tangind 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont rush into something you may regret . also maybe you would be better just dating. if there are kids involved then he doesn't want to hurt them anymore . just an adice leave it the way it is.
2006-08-23 20:16:50 · answer #9 · answered by just joking around 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but if he isn't willing to marry you now, I doubt that he ever will.
2006-08-23 19:35:43 · answer #10 · answered by BONNI 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋