I gave him a second chance since he owned up and I still love him. The problem is the other girl did not that know I exist. Then how do I know that my bf really end the relationship with her unless she knew of my existance rite..
I got the girl's mobile no. through his phonebook secretly. I don't want to confront her but woman to woman talk cos I see no point quarrelling over a man. (For all I know maybe both of us might be the victims) At the same time, I don't know what my bf had been telling her.
But if this girl were to tell my bf that I called her, then more quarrels will arise. (Like sneaking his phonebook, not trusting him, etc..) This will only worsen our relationship and the girl will have more advantage over me. I don't want to jeopordise my relationship.
Should I call her or not?
2006-08-23 18:37:17 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This man is definitely NOT marriage material!!!!! Yiu don't have to settle anymore. You just have to put your big girl panties on and deal with this drama like an adult. You are convenient to him. He will tell you in the future when he cheats, because you are a rug that he walks over and will allow him to walk over again and again. He has he right where he wants you. You do not have to be his "sloppy seconds." Do you really want to kiss your boyfriend with her smell on his lips? No! Dump this hobag, and go find the man of your dreams who will treat you like the beautiful queen that you are. Because your worth it!!!
2006-08-23 18:48:36 · answer #1 · answered by adjoadjo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well personally, I would say No. You shouldn't. Why make things worse than they already are when you could potentially walk away from it all and start afresh. Curiousity killed the Cat. Keep her mobile number. If you suspect such cheating in the future, its always an option. But for now, just put it away. Chances are if he was cheating and telling you that lie, then there is seldom only one lie and perhaps many more attached to it. If you call her many things he may have said may come to light, but what if those statements he made are what he wishes to let go off and leave behind now that he has fessed up. If you confront him about it chances are the relationship will go down the drain because he will either have nothing to come back with or will just make up more lies in panic. Let it be. Then again any future cheating would call for a break up/ once is one time too many.
2006-08-23 18:40:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is the chance of more arguments, because you went through his stuff, but I believe you have the right to know about her. I would suggest you ask him about her, whats her number, etc. This way if he gives it to you there is no fear over secretly looking through his phone book.
If you're uncomfortable with that, but something is telling you to call her, I suggest you do. Invite her to get some coffee, lunch, whatever. You two may actually have a very calm and good conversation. Maybe you can tell your boyfriend that you are planning on doing this. Or just talk to him about it a little more.
Don't sneak around, for it hurt you when he did it. It's not completely the same, but it hurts to feel betrayed.
Goodluck!
2006-08-23 18:45:57 · answer #3 · answered by Seinfeld 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are worrying about this girl having more advantage over you if you call and your man finds out...Thats stupid on your part because HE is the one that cheated on YOU!! And you are worried about who will have more advantage to keep him? Neither one of you should be wanting him. Just because he admitted to it doesn't make it right. He probably admitted to it after he was caught. Not only that, why is her number still in his phone if he is no longer dealing with her.
Of course if you call her, she is going to tell him. But at the same time, if you don't, you never know what is going on. And even if you do call her and she tells you it's over between them, she could be lying to you just to keep him in her life.
You need to get your mind right and leave him alone altogether. I can't believe you are sitting here talking about who would have the advantage. That's just plain dumb. Wake up girl.
Oh and if you do take the advice of the other answerer and tell him what you are thinking...all you are really doing is telling him to hide what he is doing better. So don't go that route.
2006-08-23 18:42:17 · answer #4 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not. You decided to take him back. That implied "another chance" and a possibility of regained trust. But straight out of the gate you have sneaked around and checked up on him and secured her number, entertaining thoughts of calling her, confronting her. Nah. You don't want to go that way. Either tell him that you were wrong and you can't trust him after all so you must say "bye bye," or make a conscious decision to let it go and see where things go from here. The key words being "from here." Not anything dipping into the past. You already know the past was bogus. Let it be. Calling her can lead to nothing good.
2006-08-23 18:41:40 · answer #5 · answered by Rvn 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you're not sure if he really ended it with this chic, give her a call. Make sure you let her know htat you're not starting any trouble but you're just looking out for you. If he hasn't ended it with her, you need to leave him. If he lied once, he will lie again. If the girl didn't know about you, there is no reason why you should be mad at her.
2006-08-31 08:07:04 · answer #6 · answered by Cris W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In any relation you should have space and belief. Why do you expect that you will be the lone entity in his life. In today's scenario you are out for your job atleast for 12 hours,sleep for 6 hours, so you are left with only 6 hours. That means a person spends more time outside the home and is in touch with his colleagues more than family. Why can't you think of better things in life rather than finding what your husband is doing. If he really loves you he wont look out for anyone else. Are you aware of your husbands likings. Please try to give some space to your husband.
Please do not try to clasp a person because it will be like sand. The harder you clasp it slips out of your fist.
2006-08-27 23:35:49 · answer #7 · answered by leena_070586 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't call her... you're giving your boyfriend a second chance right? That means that you are willing to trust him again, so, by calling her you would be showing that you don't trust him... and then you would be sending mixed signals.... thereby jeopardizing your relationship. If he was honest about the relationship, why would he come out of hiding with it, and then continue it... that sounds like he would be begging you to catch him... he can't be that stupid. Sure, he made a mistake, but I think that you made the right choice by giving him a second chance, so now you need to stick to that.
~God bless
2006-08-23 18:48:00 · answer #8 · answered by Girl 4 God 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if i were you, i will call tat girl to tell her tt this guy she flinging with is currently attach with me. If tat gurl dunnoe, den sae everything out to expose my bf true self. Dun let him hurt the innocent like me n the gurl. After everything is expose, i will step out of the complicated triangle and let the girl decide whether she still wanna go with him.
If you continue to be with him forgive him and give him a chance, will you still have the trust in him? Will you assure that he will not make 2nd mistake again?
2006-08-23 19:10:43 · answer #9 · answered by clubgurl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not call her
I think the reason you want to call her is because you do not trust your bf anymore. I think you should dump him now rather then find out later that he is still seeing her or even talking to her.. Actually if you do not trust him what kind of relationship do you have now
2006-08-23 19:23:54 · answer #10 · answered by melthule 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋