he tells me where he is going, but i still dont trust him, i feel like he is fooling around with someone else, and with a married couple who is open to sexual 3 somes. i wanted to go to yoga with him but he says he needs to take care of some business and then he calls and tells me he's gonna get dinner with one of his buddies, im like what the heck, okay? u dont make sense. if i talk to him what should i say?
HELP! confused...
2006-08-23 17:38:45 · 17 answers · asked by crysthy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
don't be silly
move on
2006-08-23 17:41:08 · answer #1 · answered by clair 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This may be old fashion but... sit down with a mentor or someone older you trust and go over the characteristics that you want in a friend. Then add the guy specific stuff. The mentor or older person is there to be a reality check and help prioritize based on their experience.
Now, here's the hard part...everyone you date, run them through the check list. If they make all the priority and most of the others, sounds like a person you MIGHT want to start dating seriously, such as in a monogamous, committed relationship.
By the way, this is how adults buy cars. ;)
2006-08-24 00:41:41 · answer #2 · answered by rkalch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you trust him? Is it your insecurity, or has he done something to deserve it?
If it's just that he's said "no, I'm with my buds" one too many times, then maybe he's not who you want to be with... obviously you want someone that wants you to meet his "buds"... The fact that his friends have an open relationship doesn't mean that he does, but if he values his privacy more than you feel is comfortable, that in itself is a reason to re-think how much you want to commit.
On the other hand, if he actually has done something to deserve it, you need to ask yourself, "will I get over this, or will I second guess him forever?"
And don't forget, that sometimes people need to assert that they can have friends that are "mine" as opposed to "ours"...
I guess, so far, you haven't said anything that makes me mistrust him, but that doesn't mean that he isn't right for you. Sometimes people just don't work out.
Best approach would be to explain to him that you're feeling left out and that sometimes, especially when it seems to be repeated a lot, you have some fears. He'll either deny everything and change the subject, accuse you of being "too possesive", or talk with you about what he's thinking when he does it. You'll have to decide if you can come to a compromise with him.
I've had girlfriends who told me "I had to stop hanging out with a specific friend" before, and I explained why that person was a friend and what I did with them... sometimes my girlfriend would understand and just ask me to keep it to a minnimum, and other times she ended up leaving me... but you know, I don't really miss the ones that tried to control and limit me. But, contrawise, he needs to understand that you begin to feel left out if it happens too often.
I'm rambling, but I hope this gives you some ideas.
2006-08-24 00:52:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know this maybe be hard to do, but try giving him the same treatment. act like his rejection toward you doesn't bother you what so ever. tell him you need some space and don't go around him or call him for two or three weeks . if he truly has feelings for you he call you or will be begging you to spend time with him. but if it's in your heart and mind you can never trust him then sweetie as bad as it may hurt ,you should dump him before he dumps you and hurts you even more. good luck sweetie and i hope this works out the way your heart wants it to. cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-24 00:54:28 · answer #4 · answered by sandy8dalejr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are felling this way there is a reason for it. Keep your eyes and ears open. First decided what you want to do. Then you need to communicate with him. most likely he will not be honest with you. That's why you have to already know what you want. If he is doing something wrong, you will need to do what is best for yourself even if he won't commuiate with you. Remember trust you senses even if you don't want to. They are trying to help you.
2006-08-24 01:07:28 · answer #5 · answered by candlelight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well #1 if u have that feeling, you should not be with him. also, dont start to not trust him if he hasnt done anything wrong yet. guys are sometimes weird to figure out, and may get you thinking weird stuff, but your only stressing yourself out. just let him do whatever he wants to do, an until u have proof to whatever it may be that hes cheating or w/e, just have fun. also, sometimes telling them how you feel could help.
2006-08-24 00:42:10 · answer #6 · answered by CaLi'S FiNeSt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust is hard for some people, but you can't really have a relationship without it. If you can't bring yourself to trust him then you should get out of the relationship.
2006-08-24 00:42:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lose him! If he really cared, he would be there for you and with you. It does sound as if he's up to something funny based on what you wrote. Do you honestly need that in your life?
2006-08-24 00:42:29 · answer #8 · answered by Evie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Trust your gut instinct it is almost always right.
2006-08-24 00:44:52 · answer #9 · answered by blondie_3935 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and say what you have here! suspect and reality are often two different things!
2006-08-24 00:43:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its ok ! He doesn't want your trust !!! You hardly have any money in the bank anyway !!!!!
2006-08-24 00:40:41 · answer #11 · answered by ChiefNickNameadvancer 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋