I have a 21yrs old son. He won't work. He won't even look for a job unless he think I'm going to put him put. Now there is this guy him and I had been together every seen my son was 7 yrs old. Now him and I have my ups and downs. That's my bussiness and I love him. But my son and him started getting into it when he was about 15 or 16. This guy and I broken up last November. We was together 13yrs. We didn't break up about my son. It was about some thing else. We still been seeing each other. My promble is my car is in the shop. It's going to cost me a lots of money to get it out. My friend is willing to go half. But that still leave my with my half, rent, light bill, water, insurance, car payment. So I decide to move in with my friend. I told my son that he's on his own. My sister said I was wrong. Do you think I'm wrong. I just want to live my life without taking care of him. Am I a bad mother or what.
2006-08-23 17:36:59 · 15 answers · asked by virginia_gaskin 2 in Cars & Transportation ➔ Insurance & Registration
I don't think you are wrong for needing help. Depending on why you broke up with this gentleman to begin with. I always look at things this way. Is he worth being with, risking your relationship with your child. Your child will always be there a man or woman will not be. My children are not even 10 yet. I have been remarried and he is a wonderful stepfather to my older three and a wonderful dad to our youngest. But he knows he would be out on his rear if he EVER mistreated our children. Your son is older and needs to learn some responsibility, to fend for himself. But don't totally turn your back on him and not look back. He may never forgive you and you may never forgive yourself.
2006-08-23 17:43:39 · answer #1 · answered by jewels_of_fire76 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your not a bad mother. Your son is an adult he has long since passed the age of you HAVING to take care of him. Sometimes parents have to push their children out of the nest. Some go, some stay, some succeed, some fail. But that doesn't make it the parents fault. You have to live your life and look out for yourself. It's not like your neglecting your son. He is an adult it's time for him to learn to be one. And if your son really loves you and appreciates you taking care of him (when most would have kicked him out for good) he'll understand that you had to do what you had to to make it. And don't worry about what your sister thinks if she thinks its such a bad thing then maybe she should pay your bills or pay your half to get your car out, or better yet maybe she should let your son live in her house and mooch off of her.
2006-08-23 17:46:17 · answer #2 · answered by MinaDina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not a bad mother. You already raised him. I'm 22 years old I live at home still but, my parents would kick me out if I didn't do a thing. So he needs to grow up and learn some responsibilities. Its cool to help him out if hes willing to help himself but, hes gotta learn at some point in his life that life's hard and u have to work ur butt off.
2006-08-24 04:03:31 · answer #3 · answered by ♫♪♥mï®♥♫♪ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, even mama birds have to push their baby birds out of the nest to make them learn to fly.
Your poor little baby bird needs a bit of pushing. Just tell him, he can come over and eat with you whenever he wants (that way you know he won't starve).
You might want to go to some toughlove meetings near you, you'll find other parents that will help give you support.
2006-08-24 02:02:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure how to answer your question but I do know that a lot of big corporations frown on people surfing the web from their back office systems. I would recommend that you do not do this while at work because you never know who is watching you. Oh and let us know if you need help with that printer.
2006-08-23 17:46:17 · answer #5 · answered by Corp. Office 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are not a bad mother .... your son is grown and its time for you to live your life for you and since your son doesnt want to contribute to anything in the household ..tell your sister to take him in and let him leech off of her for a while and see how it feels ... you did what you were supposed to as a mother and if you werent around who would take care of your son ..(himself) so let him start now ...
but dont ever completely cut him outta your life ..just let him know that you are gonna do whats right for you and he needs to do the same and if he needs you , you will be there as much as you can but since he is grown its time for him to be responsible for himself
2006-08-23 17:45:23 · answer #6 · answered by ptmamas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes a grown man. of course your not wrong. he cant refuse to work and expect mommy to take care of him his whole life. he needs a reality check and you gave it to him. you did the best you could for him as long as you could. he should want to help you! i think you did the right thing,i would have done the same. even if it was wrong, that was your decision as a mother and your sister has to respect that
2006-08-23 17:44:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't make you a bad mother but you should have given him a choice or ultimatum. tell him that he needed to find a place by such and such a date because you can't do this anymore. i hope you didn't just leave and not tell him. good luck...sounds like you've been there for him.....sometimes a mom needs to show tough love to their children for their children to learn and grow
2006-08-23 17:47:31 · answer #8 · answered by michele v 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
legally, you have every right to boot the kid out....whether or not he's done anything wrong, or whether or not he has a job or anyplace to go.
If you cannot afford him, it's time for him to start affording himself. You raised him. You need to take care of you now.
2006-08-23 17:45:15 · answer #9 · answered by joshcating 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
soon he'll be 40 and still moochin' his momma. i've been on my own, doing well, have my own fam, etc., and have only god and my parents to thank for letting me go at right after highs school. do him a favor...kick him out. enjoy life.
2006-08-23 17:46:44 · answer #10 · answered by daddygo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋