My teenage daugher has recently gotten caught performing oral sex on her boyfriend by me....she is 15. I told her she was not allowed to be alone with her boyfriend anymore unless she is supervised or she gets on the pill.....she refuses because she claims she is not going to have sex til she is married. She doesnt consider what she did sex no matter how many times I tell her if someone has an orgasm it is sex.....she has been dating this boy for a year next month.....
2006-08-23 17:28:21 · 12 answers · asked by seadew22 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ok here is a few responses for the last few answers. #1 She is not actually my daughter..she is my cousins daugter who is a low life drug addict who is in prison. I took her in last year because she wanted to come here, so as far as the response to the hugs and kisses...dont know what she got in the past but I do offer that here....As for being open with my kids...I am one of the few parents I know who is as open with my kids as I am...My son who is about to be 17 tells me everything....its hard sometimes but I would rather them tell me what they are doing then lie to me....
2006-08-23 17:56:12 · update #1
Second of all....She is a striaght A student and not a bad child at all......she is very respective to me also....The only thing she got to do with her boyfriend was go to the movies a couple of times and her boyfriend came over here a couple of times.....She is not the one who was in prison it is her mother. I didnt attain custody from her mother I got it from her grandmother who is my AUNT......She was very sick and couldnt take care of her...so I went into this blinded thinking she was a perfect little angel never did anything......anyway I think we are getting off the question from the start......I just wanted some suggestions on what to do about her refuseing to get on the pill...not have fingers pointed at me for something i tried to do good for her life.
2006-08-24 04:15:14 · update #2
well then i guess she doesnt want to be alone with her bf ........... u set the rule stick to it . and she may say she wont have sex til marriage and she may not but shes performing oral sex at 15 its ntoa huge step to intercourse u should let her know tho that its called oral SEX for a reason .......and u dont have to ahve an orgasm for sex i mean how many women fake it everyday ..... u should take her to a planned parent hood type establishment where she cna talk to the counsellours there and perhaps young mothers maybe then she will go onthe pill.
good luck
2006-08-23 17:32:50 · answer #1 · answered by ashley 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would keep things supervised, but remember, ya can't get knocked up from oral. If she is in a monogamous relationship and they have resisted vaginal penetration this long, you may want to approach this issue differently, and rather than making it a punitive thing to get on the pill, you may try giving her more control by requesting that she see an OB/GYN now that she is active, starting to have PAP tests and such. (turn it into a I am worried about your health, not a For Pete's sake don't get yourself pregnant issue)It may not hurt to point out that sharing bodily fluid carries the risk of STDs, and that until she has a ring on her finger she should use condoms, even during oral. You need to keep a dialoge open, and it seems like you are coming at this in a very harsh I CANT BELIEVE IT kind of way. Teenagers don't respond very well to judgement, and I am sure she is embarassed. Also, she can't change what has already occured. I am not saying that makes it better or right, but she probably needs you now more than at any other time, so it's a bad time to make enemies.
2006-08-23 17:41:54 · answer #2 · answered by JabberJaws 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have your hands full. First of all, you brought her in knowing full well that she is a problem child. If she was in prison, then performing oral sex on her boyfriend probably isn't as bad as what she did to get locked up (unless it was prostitution). Second, if you are watching over her as a legal guardian, then why are you letting her have freedoms like boyfriends and allowing her to go out with out a chapparone? You are more at fault than she is. You need to be watching her more closely.
2006-08-23 18:20:36 · answer #3 · answered by markgrinny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she can't get pregnant from oral sex, so I don't see why the pill is required as it is a contraceptive. I think this is more of a trust issue between you two. I would suggest telling her that if she decides that she is ready for intercourse (as in her boyfriend's penis penetrating her vagina), then you are someone she can discuss that decision with and perhaps you can get her to the doctor to talk about safe-sex practices. Whether she considers her actions to be sex or not isn't important as long as you trust her judgement and know that she's fully educated about protecting herself from STDs and avoiding unwanted pregnancy.
2006-08-23 17:36:02 · answer #4 · answered by spanishmarlena 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why did you let her start dating at 14 ...She is still a child she has no idea of whats going on...Have you taken the time to explain to her that a relationship at 14 or 15 is not a good thing
She should be out having fun doing things and making memories..Not making out...
She needs guidance..why did her mom leave her with you..You haven't a clue as to how to raise her.
2006-08-23 19:06:20 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her if she refuses to be responsible for her actions then she doesn't get any priviledges.
Then take her down and have them administer the depo shot. That way you know she's got the protection and you don't have to worry about her not taking the pill.
Also, you may want to have a talk about diseases you can still get.
2006-08-23 17:32:20 · answer #6 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but I can't help it. She dosn't need the pill for oral sex. Oh wait..am I wrong?..maybe some new fangled way to get pregnant that I haven't learned about yet. Will it lead to more is probably your fear...ahhh it depends how well oral works for the two of them. If it aint broke..there isnt anything to fix.
2006-08-23 17:34:50 · answer #7 · answered by Zoey 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
its not sex just because she has an orgasm. its sex if he goes into her. oral sex and regular sex are not the same thing. i mean, its better you caught her doing that than full on sex. i would still try to get her to go on the pill or use condoms though, because oral will probably lead to regular sex eventually. if she refuses, just dont let her see the guy anymore i suppose? or just moniter her more often.
2006-08-23 17:33:19 · answer #8 · answered by jane 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
if she really is only doing oral, the pill isnt going to protect her against AIDS or any other diseases. besides, i think shes lying to you, now adays, a boy wont stay with a girl longer than a month if she doenst give him sex. if she knows how to give a *******, im pretty sure she knows how to do other things
2006-08-23 20:28:15 · answer #9 · answered by married1 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hey why blame the teen always blame the teen.mom im sorry but youre doing something wrong. i mean we all make mistakes but how about you showing her some love hug her tell her your sorry and just show her that you care and you know have time with her and talk to her about what true love is and that what she is doing will affect her in the future.you know you have to be nice with her obviously she is looking for love but she made it into lust.just know that you need to be nicer to her in ways of showing love.hugs and kisses make it well.tell her you love her every night.shell be more conscient about her decisions.
2006-08-23 17:44:42 · answer #10 · answered by lightangellion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋