Just wondering. I had a good childhood, but I can't understand why someone who is perhaps 30 years old still hangs on to their childhood and can't see that their life is going ok now. Or that they are out of that relationship and their happiness now depends on their actions.
2006-08-23 17:04:03 · 20 answers · asked by breeze1 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
In childhood, kids learn about how life is from the adults around them. They subconsiously set their life standards from the example given to them by adults. Don't forget that to a kid, adults are the law, and what they do is always right. So when adults mess up and do bad things, the kid sees themselves as part of the problem.
I agree that we are all in control of our lives, but once these standards are set, it's hard to break free of them. Be lucky that you had a good childhood...fact is, lots of young adults who had everything they wanted in childhood wind up not doing well also, sometimes because they've never had to struggle and can't handle the pressures of life. For some, what doesn't kill them makes them stronger.
2006-08-23 17:10:52 · answer #1 · answered by Lori 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a bad childhood and a lot of the stuff you go through as a child you carry into adulthood even if you don't want to. I think it's because when you go through certain things you just want to bury them and therefore don't deal with them. Even words can be hurtful to a child "You're no good" or "you'll never amount to anything" sometimes stay with people for life. That's where a lot of my self-esteem issues came from but I am dealing with them now and feel much better.
2006-08-23 17:09:29 · answer #2 · answered by KIT-KAT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's because you had a good childhood that you can't grasp the idea of what it's like to have a bad one.
People don't want to "hang on" to it, it is a part of them. You are influenced tremendously by your environment between the ages of birth to 5 years old. It impacts the very heart and soul of them. It is deep within their psyche.
I suggest you need to take some psychology classes, specifically human development, to help you to see the whys of the difficulty of having been abused. You need to develop understanding and therefore compassion for these people, there are many.
2006-08-23 17:13:18 · answer #3 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
because they wil not let go of the past. When people go though that they don't want that to be them if they have children. Sometimes the way that the world is they may not have had a bad childhood,but if something goes wrong they can use it as a escape for the real problem.
Sorry if I got off or just talked and talked on, but I could set here and tell horror storys but htat is not the point.
It is what a person does with what has happened in their lifes that wither they can go on with it or not.
2006-08-23 17:10:48 · answer #4 · answered by Julie H 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As someone who has an emotionally abusive father, I can tell you it's not as easy as many may think to just "get over" it. As a child, we're vulnerable to anything we hear or do, and if we don't have that positive encouragement and environment growing up, it's going to affect the way we think and live our lives later on. We can't change what happened, but we can change how we are because of it through professional help or just positive reinforcement.
Each person in an abusive situation is different. Many go through it, but the factor that makes you unique is how you choose to react to the situation later on in life. You can either choose to get help and talk out your pent-up feelings, or bottle all of it up and end up just as messed up as the abuser and remain a victim. I chose not to remain a victim.
2006-08-23 17:15:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think it depends on the person. Some of the abuse has caused major depression and it is very hard to pull my self out of that feeling of why me. Also as a child we are supposed to feel wanted.if u have gone through childhood as not being wanted you feel negative thoughts throughout life. also how can you be trusting as an adult if you were abused as a child, by the one who created you.
2006-08-23 17:12:46 · answer #6 · answered by tera262002 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a very abusive childhood ...My father abused each & every on of us in every way possible, if you get my meaning. Not one of my brothers or sisters came away without some kind of disorder. It's hard for people to realize what we have to "get over"......It's NOT a light switch.
There is a lot to work & wade through...Mostly fragments that are sorted through in the adult years. I'm proud to say I never hit my kids. I did get past most of the anger & bitterness. I'm 34 now mostly what remains is a bit of depression.
What makes me upset is my father now acts as if it never happened, or pretends it wasn't that bad. Easy for him to say.
2006-08-23 17:14:40 · answer #7 · answered by Brown eyed girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Childhood builds you for the rest of your life. Look at a house with a bad foundation. What happens to the house?
2006-08-23 17:09:18 · answer #8 · answered by Answerer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it all depends upon the type of person you are.I myself am a very pessimistic person,any thing bad stays with me forever because of my photographiv memeory,i can recollect the exact image and pain .It is hard for me to let go
I cant help it,It is difficult for some people to let go of things in life,My advice to such people would be let the bad moments in life slip away from you ,dont hold on to them,They are like the sand particles ,you just have to open your hand and it will all be ok
2006-08-23 18:09:26 · answer #9 · answered by aila 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely agree...like someone that molested as a child grows up knowing it was wrong but then turns around and does the same thing to a child ...we should not feel sorry for them because they have every chance in the world to get help and choose not to ... give them the same punishment as you would a perfectly healthy person that does the same thing
2006-08-23 17:10:57 · answer #10 · answered by ptmamas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋