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I have been with my boyfriend for four and a half years, love him very much and want to marry him. However, I don't really enjoy sex with him. Not because of what he does or doesn't do, I just don't like the act in general. It sucks to be me. I do it cause I know that is a healthy part of the relationship, but I am scared because I wonder if I found the right person, would I love sex, or can I just be a person that will never really love it and maybe (hopefully) reach my peak in my 30s (I'm 25). I've been with other people and I've never really loved it ever. It's been fun with some of them and good, but I still don't think it's something I'd choose to do. I'm scared cause I don't want my whole life to be spent with someone I don't have sexual chemistry with, but to break up over that seems really crazy especially since I feel so much love for him and him for me. Any advice? Thanks

2006-08-23 16:41:02 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

and I KNOW people will tell me to incorporate toys or try role playing and whatnot, but we have done all that and it's fine I'm not like I HATE THIS... but it's just not my cup of tea, if that makes sense

2006-08-23 16:45:13 · update #1

4 answers

You say that you don't hate it, that it's just not your thing. Well, eventually, you will hate it. If you've had other partners and it was equally un-exciting, then it may be that you don't care for it. At your next DR appointment, bring it up and ask for help.

You may want to examine any psychological problems, too. Do you resist intimacy because you don't like getting that close? Maybe it hurts a little, so you instinctively protect yourself? Maybe you just need a different "take" on it- don't look at it as a healthy part of your relationship, look at it as an excuse to blow his mind.

Good luck!

2006-08-24 03:15:25 · answer #1 · answered by Milana P 5 · 2 0

That's a tough one.A relayionship shouldnt be based entirely on sexual chemistry however it has been a part of the relationship.My suggestion is seeking counseling both for yourself, your boyfriend and the future of the realationship.If you never enjoyed sex with him thats one thing but to have never enjoyed sex at all that's another.And your boyfriend probably can sense something wrong in that part of the realtionship.Seek good counseling..Sex is intended to be God way for a man and wife to express their deep love for each other and without that somethng is missing.
Remember the wise person who realizes they have a problem, seeks a solution ..

2006-08-23 23:53:49 · answer #2 · answered by prettycoolchick38 4 · 1 0

This may sound a little crazy, but maybe you should talk to your doctor. You may have a hormonal imbalance that reduces your sex drive. It is not that uncommon, even at your age, and they can give hormone supplements for that.

Could be mental - maybe feeling guilty because you were brought up to believe that "only bad girls do that".

Just a couple of ideas.

2006-08-23 23:45:27 · answer #3 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 2 0

I WOULD FIRST SAY THAT YOU PROBABLY NEED TO TALK TO YOU DR THEN I WOULD ASK MYSELF ARE YOU STRESSED OR DEPRESSED???? AND THIRD IF YOU HAVE HAD A BAD SEXUAL EXPERIENCE WITH SEX BEFORE THAT COULD BE IT THAT IS BRINGS UP ISSUES AND MAYBE I'M WRONG AND IT SO I'M SORRY. BUT SEX IS A BIG PART IN RELATIONSHIPS AND IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND U WILL NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE BEDROOM BEFORE IT BECOMES A PROBLEM IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

2006-08-23 23:56:22 · answer #4 · answered by happy girl 2 · 1 0

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