How to handle a racist co-worker?

Question

I work in a semi-casual office setting with 5 other women:1 boss, 1 secretary, and 4 program planners (I am one and one is African Am.) I am a recent college grad & the youngest by 20 years but I have more education than some others.
The secretary is an older woman who is a member of the Daughters of the Confederacy. She has said some things in passing referring to "those people" about other races. Usually I would call a person on those things, but I am the new girl and she has been there a long time and really runs the office day-to-day so getting on her bad side didn't seem worth it at the time.
Yesterday though, she flat out said to me "I don't really like black people" and I was so shocked to hear someone say that so plainly I didn't say anything at all.
My boss & the African American woman either ignore this or are unaware of it.
So should I say anything to anyone or ignore it?
She obviously isn't going to change her ways this late in her life but it still bugs me.

There are only 6 employees, there is no HR Dept or complaint system.
She's a secretary, she doesn't control promotions or anything, just mail and messages.
I actually feel sorry for her because she had rough life and struggles with money (which is why she is still working at 70ish years old).
The rest of us get to work on projects and leave the office for off site meetings but she is stuck doing boring office work. She is sort of left out already so if I get the rest of the office to gang up on her I think it would make her feel even more like an outsider (which is why I think she is trying to pit the rest of us against each other with her gossip).
But that doesn't give her the right to say something like that.
My boss does not spend a lot of time in the office so that is why I think she may be unaware of it. My only concern about saying something to her personally is that she will start gossiping about me next. I still feel I have to say something if it happens again.

Answer 1

Simply tell her you do not feel the same way and you do not want to hear any more comments like that because it offends you. Be kind, be polite, but be firm. There is no need to report her to anyone else at this point. Just deal with it one on one with her. Most people like her will "test the waters" to see if you will put up with their ignorance, or if you agree with them. If they find that you don't, they will usually just drop it. Try your best to stay on friendly terms with her if she stops the offensive behavior. You are right to tread carefully. In most of the offices I have worked, it is someone in her position that has the ability to make things real hard. Try to forgive her ignorance and chalk it up to her age. She is from a different time. Whatever you do don't make a big deal out of it in the office with the others. You may be seen as trying to use it to move yourself ahead, and you might find that the african americans you work with may resent you for making it an issue. Anyway the bottom line is this. If this lady is making comments to you that make you uncomfortable and you aren't telling her, she will take that as a sign you approve and maybe even agree with her. Reporting her without asking her to stop is really not fair.

Answer 2

It sounds like she is trying to show you that she has seniority in the office. Most people when they are trying to gain power over someone else will attack what they think is that persons weakness.

If you report her to the boss (which you have the right to do) it may get her sacked, is that what you want? If you confront her she will either back off or attack you further.

You have to feel sorry for people who are so threatened that they will attack someone's race/size/age/sex just to make themselves feel better.

If it really depresses you then do something about it, but maybe you could rise above it and just feel pity for her ignorance. As time goes by in an office situation all the staff will see you for who you really are. Remember though that in office politics there will always be bitchiness and backbiting, wherever you are. Good Luck

Answer 3

This is a tough situation. It's a shame that there is still so much racism out there today.

I think it's realistic of you to think that you aren't going to change her attitude. However, one thing you can do is at least not listen to it yourself. It's very difficult to approach these kinds of situations diplomatically, but it can be done. If you feel that she is about to say something inappropriate, you can simply say something like, "Jane, I don't mean to offend you, but I'd rather not hear negative comments about black people any more." Hopefully something like this will at least mean that she's not sharing them with you. And, you never know, if you are not willing to listen to it, she might have reason to rethink some of her opinions.

You might also think about the effect that her opinions are having on your business. If she has such strong feelings and is so open with them, chances are you're not the only person she's been expressing these opinions to. If your business has some black customers who get offended or if her racism is making it difficult to work with your coworker, that could cause your company to lose money. Therefore, if you feel it's in the financial interest of the company, it may be appropriate for you to talk to your boss about it in private. You could say something like, "Hey Sally, I'm rather worried about some things that Jane has been saying. I've heard her make disparaging remarks about black people on a couple of occasions. I'm worried that this might be offending our customers and causing tension in the office. I thought you might want to know." After that, it will be your boss' decision about what to do.

This seems like a really difficult situation for you to be in. I really hope it works out for the best.

Answer 4

You handled it well at the time. Saying nothing will keep your dignity and respect during sensitive subjects. You don't want to make any enemies, especially since you are new.

Let her blab if she wants, but your silence is your strongest weapon. She may want to "recruit" you and turn your better judgment into poison. Don't give in. If she ever faces you and talks this way, just give a blank stare for a moment. When you turn around and walk away, she will get the message that you are too smart to talk bad about anyone.

If you, or anyone, joins in just to keep her friendship, you are sacrificing a lot more than if you gave up her friendship. Your integrity and self respect are at stake here!

That Afr-Amer woman will always hold you in high regard for treating her with respect...so will God.

Now who's relationship is more important to you?

Bless you

Answer 5

The old battle axe does not like the changes made by Abraham Lincolns army and so will go into the grave like the 3 or 4 generations before her who also lost that war to keep slaves. I would sing every Yankee Civil War soldier song I could find just to rub salt into the fact she's on the losing side.

Answer 6

Did anyone else hear her say it? is there a way to have proof she said it? Don't, and I mean don't accept that from anyone. You really need some proof some way and then address it. When you address it be very direct, non-emotional, just state its not acceptable, and state that the person is wrong and that you have the right to a work environment that is free of harassment. Then ask them how and when will they be able to offer what's right and fair to you and all others in this work place.
Oh and I would like to know how it turns out, good luck.

Answer 7

The next time she made a comment like that to me, or withing my earshot, I would tell her politely that perhaps that she didn't realize it, but the comment made you uncomfortable. Then go about your business and treat her as you would anyone else. If you do that, I bet you'll have made several friends in the office.
If you don't say anything,working there will be horrible. And, do you really want to compromise your ethics for what sounds like a entry level position?

Answer 8

Don't assume she can't change her ways this late in her life. Unless she is on her death bed, she can change her ways.
To her comment that she didn't really like black people, you could ask her how many she knows, to make a statement like that. Or tell her that's really a pity, as you have several black friends whose company you really enjoy. Or invent a black relative. A sister-in-law or a brother-in-law, that you could rave about.
Too bad when people are like that, and it's particularly insensitive of her when one of her co-workers is African American.

Answer 9

U should report it to the equal opportunity rep because every state and company has a race rule and the group she's apart of....well if they knew who she was affiliated with then she may be looking for a new job and racism is aginst the law.Get the witnesses that heard it to sign a peition and report it to the police and take it to state officials and the NAACP.

Answer 10

Your boss needs to pay attention to this - this is grounds for a lawsuit, and there is absolutely no insurance that will cover this type of suit.

Ignore the secretary completely. No response is better than any other response you can give in your position.