why do i think about my ex so much?

Question

I cheated on my ex of 6 yrs, with a guy whom i worked with. We have been together for 11 months now, and we're married. He is an asshole, and abusive. I think about him so much, we grew up 2gether, and he told me that he had a crush on me when we were friends. My parents never approved, and the world looks down upon us cause he was black and i'm white. I'm married now, but i cant stop thinking about him. he babied me, gave me everything i wanted, but he was jealous and insecure. He never talked He stopped giving me attention, and had a 2 year affair online with a pretty black girl. he always thought i was cheating, so i did.But i never left him until now. He cried so much, and was hurt so bad, he isnt dating anyone, and my husband keeps me isolated from everyone, but sometimes he makes me very happy. What do i do, do u think he still loves me. But i still want to get even with him for cheating with that b/girl. I thought about him everytime i did cheat. Is this regret that i'm feeling?

I really miss him so much, my mom dont want me to go back to him, and i want to and i dont want to. Why do i think about him half of the day, and at night every single day. What shall i do.

Answer 1

you still love him......

shouldntve cheated...

Answer 2

Sounds like neither of these guys are a good pick for you.
The guy you were with you cheated on him and he cheated on you... so neither of you cared enough to NOT cheat... and your husband, well he keeps you isolated and is an asshole.... so I think you should forget about your ex and also think about a divorce from this guy.
Sounds like neither of them have/had healthy relationships with you.

Answer 3

silly,you love him pa kaya

Answer 4

just let it go