Question for moms or dads?

Question

My 8 year old son is all of a sudden scared at night. He claims to have had a couple of bad dreams and doesn't like to be alone. Anyone else encounter this problem? It has only been going on for a couple of months now. I sit with him at night and give him funny stories to think about while he is trying to fall asleep. He also has a night light. It seems to work pretty well, but he still begs to sleep in our room. What can I do to make him feel more secure?

Answer 1

sit with him on his bed the first night when you say goodnight. the next night back up a little but still talk to him casually and say goodnight. each night back away a little more toward the door, but still talking with him, so he knows that you are still saying goodnight, but you don't have to be right there until eventually you are able to not be right there with him, but can still tuck him in and be physically distant. it worked for me

Answer 2

Could it be night terrors?

Did something bad or a big change happen just before it started? Or, did he spend the night anywhere right before that started? I ask because my sister's neighbor's daughter spent the night with her next door neighbor's family and the dad came in and molested her.

It could be that he loves having you with him so much at night that what began as needing your company to help get over some nightmares has become a lovely time of getting more of you.

I think it is pretty normal for kids zero - 8 or 9 to want their parents all night long. I think it is biologically determined, an evolved need. Therefore, kids will try to get that nighttime comfort. It's not necessarily a sign that anything's wrong.

Meeting a child's needs - and teaching him how to meet the needs he can - helps him feel secure.

Answer 3

My daughter Emma(5 years) had the same problem but we went through it and I will say how.First check if the air in the room is moist enough,if the blanket is too warm.Maybe the kid is scared of the dark,then leave the light(of a little lamp near the bed) turned on and the door a bit opened.Open the window for fresh air.The idea for funny stories if very good.If you have done all this then check the psychological reasons.Talk to the kid and try to find out if he is scared of something(a school-mate,a teacher,a picture of scary movie or something).When having a night-mare,wake him up and talk to him.If he remembers the dream,tell him to retell it to you.Ask him to describe his feeling in a picture and give a sound to the picture too.Of course make sure the child hasn't eaten anything heavy and has drunk enough water.If all this don't help,turn to a psychologist.

Answer 4

Generally bad dreams or scared at night stem from a bigger issue. Something in his life has had a sudden shift. Has he lost someone? A pet, or family member. A friend move away? Some kind of change in his life has made him feel insecure. Find out what it is. Once he is consoled, his night time problem will generally no longer be a problem. This comes from a father of 3. 14, 12, and 8.

Answer 5

I'm with everyone who thinks it may be a scary movie that he may have watched over at a friends house, or even some of the trailers for some of the movies that came out this summer that were on tv were pretty darned scary to me!!! 8's a little old for "monster spray" although I used it with my daughter when she was little, but I'm thinking more 5 or 6. An 8 year old is a little wise to the ways of the world, and I doubt you could fool them with a squirt bottle. Try to find out what has scared him, because something has, and then reassure him. DO NOT let him sleep in your room, no matter what, he needs to stay in his own bed. This too shall pass. Good luck!

Answer 6

My first question was whether something happened to him or if he is worried about something. Is he being bullied. Is he upset because there is conflict in the family or he thinks there is? Is he worried about friendships at school? Has the family moved recently or parents changed jobs? Any of these changes can make him a little less secure and a little more anxious which might be reflected in nightmares. But check out the more serious stuff too- especially about being hurt or bullied by someone.

Answer 7

Something or someone has scared your son. Maybe not intentionally but it has happened. Watch out for what your son watches for television shows, and don't let older kids tell him stories. It does happen from time to time in life, but if you allow your son to sleep in your bed, you are going to have an even bigger problem. Your son will become overly dependent and it is a bad behavior to teach him. Check in on him a few times during the night during the first couple of hours he goes to bed, and offer to stay with him for 10 minutes each evening before going to sleep. Reward him for staying in his own bed and not coming to your bed. Use simple rewards like an extra 10 minutes on the video games or something else simple. It will take a little while, but he will get used to the idea of staying in his own bed as long as you are constant with your position and stand your ground.
The worst thing you can do is to get angry with him or to give in to his demands.

Answer 8

First of all make sure you do not give in and let him sleep with you at night, even for a one time thing.

Give him some music to listen to at night. Does he have something that he loves and never wants to let go of? If you can maybe let him have that at night.

Keep doing what you are doing and hopefully he will be able to fall asleep on his own.

Answer 9

I told my son about the story of Dream catchers. then we went together and bought ( you can also buy kits to make them) and that seemed to help a bit..... See if you can figure out what exactally hes afraid of...why is he afraid of the dark? My son didnt like the dark because of dreams so that helped my problem. My friends son thought there was something under his bed so he slept with a rubber bat and if he herd something he would sit up and tell the "monster" that he had a bat and he wasnt afraid....that worked to...get creative...you know your son, push his buttons and bring out the braveheart in him...LOL Good luck...

Answer 10

Sounds like a case of a classic scary movie. Or something else has happened to frighten him so much. They don't just get scared of the dark for no reason. I'd have to ask him what was wrong. Maybe it's something you can fix. Maybe something terrible is happening to him that he needs to feel safe. I'd have to know. Don't let up until you find out.

Answer 11

Ask him if he has been having problems with someone bothering him. Also, what kind of TV programs has be been watching. Sometimes kids will watch something that they are not supposed to and it scares them. Even TV news can be disturbing, like if someone they know is over in Iraq, and they see all the horror stories on the news it can scare them.