my boyfriend's daughter doesnt live with us anymore. today she called up and said that she was mad that in stead of my boyfriend stating him and his daughters name on the voice mail, its now me and my boyfriends name. she wants it changed back to the old way. I think that changing it back will give her a false sence of reality. because as i stated earlier she doesnt live here anymore and never even visits the house. I could see adding her name back on if she visited but she doesnt. I know this is kind of a weird question but I just dont want her to have a false sence of reality. I need opinions, please!
2006-08-23 15:37:45 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If her name was Electra, I'd laugh my a$s off. Lmaoo. (The Electra & Oedipus complexes... read about them. It's pretty weird, lol.)
She's jealous that you've "moved in" [into her life] and she wants you to leave. Maybe she misses her mother? Children can be incredibly bitter about a divorce. She's just acting out by MAKING you realize that she doesn't want you there.
This self-centeredness has to stop. Having her father tell her, "Forget about it! You don't live here! You have to understand that there's a new woman in my life! I'm not going to play these games anymore!", will (at first) sting a little bit, but I can guarantee you, it'll stop her selfish behavior. If you don't fix it, it'll get FAR worse later on in life.
It's not a weird request. It's a slightly difficult one (if you don't know how to tell a child to PISS OFF...). :-p
Good luck! :-)
2006-08-23 16:05:53 · answer #1 · answered by masterdeath01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds very immature as she isn't living in the household. But, not knowing the whole situation she could insecure in your relationship with her father.
I would ask her why she wants to be on the voice mail when she isn't living in the residence. Then leave it in her corner to answer it. Keep it simple you will get more then rationalizing what she may or may not thinking.
But, what ever you do, don't give in to her unless you like a life in hell.
2006-08-23 23:09:57 · answer #2 · answered by wild4gypsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you (and/or your bf) should discuss it w/her, and try to get at the root of why she's upset. What's the underlying reason?
As an armchair psychologist, I think that, perhaps, she feels threatened by you; worried you'll take affections away from her dad... whether she realizes it or not. So it may be hard for her to admit it, even if she knows. However, instead of focusing on the position, focus on each other's needs and wants and go from there.
Failing that, if you simply want my opinion... she doesn't live there any more, and shouldn't expect to be on the message. I wouldn't expect my parents to list me on their phone after I left the house.
2006-08-23 22:42:43 · answer #3 · answered by Kimberley Mc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what she's trying to do here is send you a message - "I may not live here right now, but this is MY place, not yours". What you should do here is get your boyfriend to call her and tell her that the message will not be changing as it is your home as well as his. Don't do this yourself, as this will only give his daughter ammunition to use against you.
2006-08-23 22:42:09 · answer #4 · answered by *huge sigh* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, the answering machine should include the residents of the house. Since she doesn't live there anymore she should be receiving her messages wherever she is now living. What's your b/f take on this?
2006-08-23 22:41:03 · answer #5 · answered by funlady6632@yahoo.com 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't live there, her name should definately not be on the answering machine. Tell her that answering machines are for people to leave messages for the residents, not their relatives, co-workers or friends. You may have to speak slowly as she sounds she might not be too quick on the uptake here...
2006-08-23 22:45:29 · answer #6 · answered by dragonwing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that her dad should have a talk with her and explain the situation, and depending on her age I hope she understands. Don't indulge her because it's a bad thing when a kid always gets their way, they have to know that they can't have everything they want. Request have to be reasonable.
2006-08-23 22:41:26 · answer #7 · answered by Melisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on how old she is....if she is little she probably is just feeling like you are taking over and that she is not part of your family anymore.. I dont see what it would hurt to put it back on, i dont think it will give her a false sense of reality, just a sense of belonging....Just put all of your names on it...if she is grown, then just tell her no..
2006-08-23 22:46:59 · answer #8 · answered by ME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is she????? If young(5-10),I would say yes change it because she needs to know her Father still loves (cares)her. If older, No. Point-out that she no longer lives there.
2006-08-23 22:44:51 · answer #9 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't live there anymore She shouldn't be getting voicemail there anymore. Certainly her Name should be taken off if she is out on her own. According to her age and her living situation. Grinch
2006-08-23 22:46:21 · answer #10 · answered by grinch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋