he has not been in her life for two years. nor has he paid child support. But now he says he wants to be a father to her. She currently has my last name. what should i do
2006-08-23 15:09:47 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well that's really up to you but if you decide to let him sign the birth certificate, you could always give her both names. My children's names are hyphenated with both my last name and their Dads.
2006-08-23 15:15:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your child is living with you, it is best for her to have your last name. Even if her biological father signs the birth certificate, she should not have to change her name. Even when people that are married have a child, any name can be chosen for the first and last name for their child. It is obviously better to have the child have the same last name as the parents, but it is not required.
He does have legal rights as the biological father, unless he signed them away, but I do not think he has the right to force a name change. If he wants to exercise his rights though, he also has to take on the responsibility. That means paying child support. Make sure you keep on him about that, as that is important.
Unless he is violent, abusive, or a substance abuser, he should be involved in her life. It is better for a child to have ties to their family. If he is a danger to her though, you may need to take the matter to family court to protect your child. Good Luck.
2006-08-23 15:24:36 · answer #2 · answered by Josie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you do not state which State you are in, my first response is 'Get a Lawyer ASAP!'
In order for him to be able to sign the Birth Cert, he is going to have to PROVE Paternity and even then you do not have to put his name on the BC.
I would wonder why the sudden change of heart... if he did some growing up then great...just please be wary and get a Lawyer in case he is trying to pull a fast one.
Not all men are jerks, some do grow up and take their responsibility as they should, but the ones that don't think it's great fun to use an innocent child in their sick game and give the others a bad name.....Better Wary than Sorry.
2006-08-23 15:22:01 · answer #3 · answered by HistoryMom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is only two - so it's not like it was years and years. If he wants to be part of her life now - give him a chance. See how it goes and if he is being honest. Then later on if he does everything to be in her life - give her his last name - that's her father! If it don't work out then let her keep yours. Be honest though and don't get pissed about every little thing he does wrong - at least he is trying .. right? Good luck!
2006-08-23 15:16:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her keep your name, but add his as a kind of middle name, that way later in life she can use either. An example is Danielle Aisling Parker Kenderson. Kenderson would be the mother's (your name in this case) and Parker would be a second middle name (the father's last name).
This way, Both your names are there. A fair compromise.
2006-08-23 15:20:49 · answer #5 · answered by Nyx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you two were happily married your daughter does not have to have her fathers name. She doesn't even have to have your last name. You could make it up.
Bob Smith and Mary Brown could have a child they named Martha Green.
You should have named her, first, middle, and last at birth and keep it that way.
2006-08-23 15:12:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it, he hasn't earned it yet. If he steps up and is a man (like for the next 2 years at least) helps take care of her, pays child support, then change it, but until then...keep her as yours.
2006-08-23 15:12:58 · answer #7 · answered by KIMBO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she lives with you then she should have your last name. Just think about she is going to school and all the forms you fill out it is so much easier on her if the parent taking primary responsibility for her is the one that matches her last name.
2006-08-23 15:13:54 · answer #8 · answered by Princessd1010 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
his name does NOT have to be on the birth certificate. in most states, there is only a period of one year in which the child's certificate can be amended without cause.
he can petition for visitation, just like you can petition for child support. they do not go together automatically. (you do NOT have to give visitation just because he is paying child support! he has to prove himself to the judge to earn that if you are not willing!)
2006-08-23 15:17:42 · answer #9 · answered by kaydeedid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought if you wanted child support you had to have the father's name on the certificate
2006-08-23 15:11:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋