My ex has been trying for a year now to get custody of our 2 sons that I have had with me for the past 4 1/2 yrs. I got sole legal and physical custody of the boys in the divorce, but since I got remarried, the ex is trying to get them. I have no reason to believe theres a chance he can get the boys, and I think he's realizing that now, too. I have heard thru the grapevine that he is "going to burn his house down, sign off his parental rights and take off to Illinois."
1- he has other kids he's signed off rights to already to get out of child support
2- he lost his job almost 2 mos ago, hasnt paid child support since mid-june, and court is next week----- hows he gonna take care of 3 kids if hes not working?? (he has another son living with him- it was go live with dad who he hadnt seen in 10 yrs or go to juvenile)
3- hes sorry enough to sign off and not see the boys and blame it on me, make it seem like he had no choice, like i MADE him sign off
I dont care about the child support
2006-08-23 15:01:49 · 9 answers · asked by tonysdoll815 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
... I admit it helps, but I can do without it. He's behind @ $3000.
I know my husband would adopt the boys if the ex did sign off and the boys wanted him to adopt them, but thats not the point of it either. My husband is a much better man than the ex. He's not a drunk, hes not a drug addict, and he doesnt lay his hands on me, and he's got the most principle to himself of any man I've ever known. He's honest and fair and straightforward with everyone.
2006-08-23 15:09:09 · update #1
... I admit it helps, but I can do without it. He's behind @ $3000.
I know my husband would adopt the boys if the ex did sign off and the boys wanted him to adopt them, but thats not the point of it either. My husband is a much better man than the ex. He's not a drunk, hes not a drug addict, and he doesnt lay his hands on me, and he's got the most principle to himself of any man I've ever known. He's honest and fair and straightforward with everyone.
2006-08-23 15:10:11 · update #2
i admit, i personally would like nothing better than to never have to deal with him again. i've thought to myself many times "why cant he just leave these boys alone like he did all his other kids? why in the hell does he have to try to do the right thing now?" I feel guilty for thinking that, because I have an idea how the boys would feel not seeing him again (my parents died when I was still young). He is a SOB, but he is still their father and they love him. The boys would be so much better off without him. They'd have a better attitude, better outlook on life, etc.
2006-08-23 23:42:02 · update #3
at some point you should just realize that jus b/c he is their father doesn't mean that he is their daddy. A daddy is always there...not in and out of the kids lives!! My Step-daughter's mom is alot like that...she is pretty much ready to sign off rights b/c she doens't want to have to pay c.s. It's sorry and it sucks but its life, there isnt to much we can do about it. You can't force someone to be a parent! You can just look out for what is best for you kids and move on and help them deal with it all!!
Just because a parent layed down to help make a child doesn't mean that they want the child or will be a good mommy or daddy.
It sounds like the best thing that you can do is let him sign off rights and move on. Don't keep hurting your boys by letting him in and out of their lives!
If he is trying to take the boys and you have full custody I wouldn't be to worried...my hubby got full custody last year and they told the BM that she would probably never get custody back and if she wanted to try it would be VERY VERY difficult!!
Plus if you are married...you are a 2 parent home probably w/2 incomes...he is a 1 parent home with no income!! No one would put kids in that situation! As for the back c.s. well, by not paying it he is in contempt of a court order and will be getting into some trouble for that one!!!
Good luck and God bless!
2006-08-24 05:47:08 · answer #1 · answered by itsjustme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My hubby's ex has threatened to give up the parental rights also. Stating we are the reason the ex doesnt come and call to see the kid.
No matter what he does he wil always owe the back support. We are owed over 7000 bucks and the wages and tax returns are garnished. I also understand the whole being blamed. We are sorta in the same boat. I would adopt my DSS in a second, and he wants me too. We dont care about the support either, but the county took it upon themselves to garnish wages. Who are we to argue with the county. They charge 10% interest and 5% penalties.
2006-08-24 02:48:33 · answer #2 · answered by i love my sexy hubby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband THOUGHT about doing that..signing off on his children ~ NOT because he's a bad father..we have 2 sons together and he's wonderful with them!! BUT his ex-wife hasn't let him see them in almost 5 yrs now..ever since he got with me!
She has used her children against him~ He was hoping that she'd eventually LET him have visits...but she hasn't! Even if he LEGALLY signed off on them..he'd STILL have to pay child support!!
Let him burn his house down..then he'll have NOTHING and still have to pay child support! I'd go to court and have his mental abilities questioned and maybe have him have NO more contact...EVER!! If you're remarried and he wants to adopt them..you still have to have your ex sign the papers stating he acknowledges that he's allowed your husband to adopt them!!
Having his mental state questioned may remove his other son from his custody..especially IF he plans to burn the house down...I just hope his other son isn't in the house when he does this...
2006-08-24 09:01:33 · answer #3 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is a very hard situation. I would simply ask your hubby if he would adopt the boys... I would ask the boys if they want to be adopted and if both are yes then I would go threw with it.
However remember this they will always know who their birth father is and in their future they probably will look and find him... do not talk badly about his father and explain to the boys that your hubby wants to be their father and that their birthdad is having difficulties and that he does love you and then talk to the ex to have him help explain that he loves them so much that he wants them to have the best life possible and that at this time in his life he is not what is best.
2006-08-24 10:30:36 · answer #4 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1, A judge will NOT allow him to sign off on his parental rights, UNLESS your current husband is willing to adopt. He IS repsonsible for back child support, and it can be taken out of unemployment checks and tax returns. If you don't want to have to bother with him talk to your current spouse about him adopting your boys. If you were to get divorced from him in the future HE, not your son's real dad, would be responsible for child support.
2006-08-23 22:12:07 · answer #5 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's that sorry of a Father, your kids don't need him in their life. They should see a good example of what a parent really is. Show them every day!
2006-08-23 22:10:52 · answer #6 · answered by Tammie C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to agree in court for him to give up his children he is still financially responsible if he give up visitation, it sounds like you want him to give up any rights to his children,do the right thing for your kids..
2006-08-24 03:37:09 · answer #7 · answered by pycosal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really know the question your asking but yea he probably won't win in court. and he should pay up on his back chile support. but it juz sounds like to need someone to vent to feel free to message me anytime you need someone "listen". all the best to you and yours
2006-08-23 22:22:56 · answer #8 · answered by leylu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES YOU NEED YOUR BACK CHILD SUPPORT TOO IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT IF YOU DIDNT.GOODLUCK
2006-08-24 08:00:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋