i know she is the one, but she needs me there, and its going to be a while. And she unsure to whether i am going to go. Is there any way i can help this problem, i was thinking about making videos for her and sending them for her. I mean we mail and talk but we like every relatioship we need to be around each other. Another thing she doesn't seem to realise i have the same problem, but i am strong and i know i will be there. I just don't want to lose her because she can't wait for me because i know she will regret it. She has these moments like once in a while where she almost breaks my heart and then she comes back like she never did it. But i know her personality too well that she will come back next time. But i can't hurt her, i am too soft because i don't want to bad word her. I just want to make this period easy for us but when this happens it attacks my feelings and it feels as if what she says goes. Although she changes her mind soon after. What do you guys think! Help me! TY
2006-08-23 14:57:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Look ok I've tried two LD relationships and neither of them have worked. The last one, I thought was THE ONE, I loved him like no other thing or person on this earth. I would do anything for this boy. Everything was fine, five months I would be back to be with him. We made it for two weeks. I sent him packages and videos via e-mail. But somehow he gave up. I was so depressed but I had to let him go. It hurts so bad to do it, but I think both of you are more miserable together than you would be apart. If you think it's meant to be, or know that it is, trust me love always finds a way back. If she loves you and can't wait, maybe she's not the one. About her breaking your heart then acting like she never did over and over. Don't let her do that to you. I used to do that to a man I loved. The only reason I ever came back was because I knew he would forgive me, I'm not saying she doesn't love you, but you seem to have put your heart out there. Don't do that protect your heart. A good friend once told me I hand my heart out like crackers and am surprised when it crumbles. Don't let your heart crumble. I don't know you but I don't want you to go through the pain I have. Be smart, do what's best for you, not her, not anyone else but YOU.
2006-08-23 15:04:48 · answer #1 · answered by sschultz89 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in a long-distance relationship and although it didn't work out, here are my suggestions. Communication is essential, call her, email her, chat online...never go more then 2 days without saying something to her. Also, snail mail almost always provides a nice surprise that can be appreciate for several days. Instead of emailing all the time, hand-write one out and send it. Or, a card just to say that you are thinking of her. On a day that means a lot to her or you could surprise her as well, have flowers delivered to her. And, if possible, try to get together to see eachother...maybe you can meet 1/2 way or take her on a vacation, it can be a day-trip or several days but it is always nice to see the othe person even if you can't be near eachother all the time for the time-being.
2006-08-23 15:08:01 · answer #2 · answered by dshcpa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whao. You are in a world of pain my friend! Unfortunately, from my experience, long term relationships don't work for two reasons:
1) What you think is a short time before you come back to her, is in her opinion a long time.
2) No matter how much one side might want to "tough it out", if the other person isn't THAT serious - it won't last.
So I think you should give fate a chance and hope that you two are destined for each other... and take it easy!
2006-08-23 15:03:51 · answer #3 · answered by blue2monday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationship is very very hard to sustain.
Something in your words made me worried: she hurts you, but than comes back if nothing ever happened? Do you tell her that she hurts you? You really should let her know in a gentle way. Treat her as equal, not as less strong. If you expect her and allow her to be less strong you're setting yourself up to be treated poorly in the furure.
I don't know how long are you planning to keep it as long distance. 3-5 years? It might be wiser to figure out a way to be together, or move on. (Otherwise she might be feeling deep down that she was sort of dumped. ) A few months to a year should be manageable. Good luck.
2006-08-23 15:06:08 · answer #4 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think u shud try to make her understand dat u feel equally bad as she does. Tell her dat she hurts u mentally wen she changes her character... I am sure she will understand .Keep supporting her in a way that she feels dat u will be around sum day. I am quite shocked dat she is uncertain abt u goin der... is it sumthn to do wid nt believin u thn i guess u hv to relate more to her & to her feelings and make her feel dat she is d one and only person fer u ( this means u need more time )... or else if it is like u r nt in a condition to go ...thn u can try to keep in touch thru calls ...i think more than videos a phone call will work . It will be quite a relief wen she realizes dat she really means a lot to u .... dnt consider the bills :-P
2006-08-23 15:10:47 · answer #5 · answered by Daniella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As they say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Assuming your relationship is based on true, genuine love, this should not affect the way your girl feels about the physical distance between you and her. If on the other hand her feelings are more of a co-dependent nature and your own feelings for her are unrequited, then maybe it's time to move on to someone else.
2006-08-23 15:03:41 · answer #6 · answered by daryavaush 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships never work. I had one in college. It killed me to leave the BF but I had to. I wanted to marry him so badly.
Then I met someone else who I later ended up marrying. I am very glad I didn't marry the college BF.
In other words it doesn't matter how much you love each other if you are not together there is always someone else closer. No matter how much you swear it's not going to happen to YOUR relationship....
2006-08-23 15:02:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way to deal with this is be her best friend. The only way you two will be serious is when you two meet and live nearby each other. Long distance relationship is tough. However, it can work for some people.
2006-08-23 14:59:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just send her videos or something tell her to get over it not that mean but just tell her you are going threw the same thing and you guys will see each other again and if you don't like her but you are afraid to tell her you don't then you are screwed. Sorry.
2006-08-23 15:01:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend has an longdistant relation and she calls him every night at aroung 8 or 9 or he calls her they send emails and e-card whenever they can and if there are both on they I.M. each other to feel as if he were realy here
-Haley
2006-08-23 15:00:31 · answer #10 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋