What's The Most Peaceful Way To Tell A Child No?

Question

When They Ask For Something You Dont Agree To, Whats The Most Peaceful Way To Tell Them No? Example, They Want A New Toy, Want Ice Cream, Etc..

Answer 1

well, I think it depends on the child and what it is that they are asking for. With my children, let's say they want ice cream but it's almost time for dinner. I'll tell them they cannot have the ice cream because it will spoil their dinner, but if they eat everything on their plate, we might have ice cream for dessert. I think explaining why helps the child be able to make better decisions. It also lets them know it's not just cause you don't want them to have something. I usually try to offer an alternative. if they can't have something now, I might consider it later, if they make good grades, etc. If it's something I never want them to have, I explain why and offer them an alternative that I wouldn't mind as much.

Answer 2

First of all, you need to set limits and be consistent. "No" should mean "No" the FIRST time you say it. Alway offer choices, not chances.

My response would be different depending on the age of the child. With young child, they sometimes want everything they see on t.v. yet forget soon after. If they see a toy they want on t.v. I might say "I'll get it for you on your birthday." By the time their birthday comes they will have forgotten.

I would also empathize with the child when they want something and I don't want them to have it. "I can tell you really want that (toy, treat). You're feeling (disappointed, upset, angry, mad) that you can't have it." I would also explain why they can't have it. "I'm worried you won't want dinner if you have ice cream now." or "I worried you won't be able to sleep well if you have a treat. Maybe tomorrow we can have some." or "I don't have enough money to get you a toy now. I'll be sure and put it on a birthday list for you." or "That toy looks like it will break easily. Let's wait until we find something that will last a long time." Always empathize and explain your reasoning for saying "No." They will respect your decisions.

Answer 3

Send them a card at their grandparents.. from the tropical paradise.

Seriously, be honest. No should be 'no', yes means yes, maybe etc.

When no is defined as please no but if you create a scene and give everyone migraines it will be 'yes' than you have taught your child an unwelcome lesson.

They are more victimized by advertizing than adults... and their attention spans are shorter(BUT in both cases the numbers are getting closer!). And that's why the candies are at the checkout...

They are only undeveloped adult minds in undeveloped adult bodies WHO are forced to rely on their parents for inputs/ instructions. Which means they know when you don't practice what you preach, do not say what you mean, AND they will mistakenly assume that's the way the world is...

More time with them is good for you and them AND us! Sadly TV is not a good substitute for everything that was before TV...

And if behavior not corrected now find a good psychiatrist(and/or drugs) for they become teenagers... AND YOU"LL need it!

Answer 4

Say no, and then go on with what you are doing. Kids are not dumb. They know what they have to do to get your attention. If they say they want something and they don't get it, hysteria, yelling kicking, spitting will do the job. Just do as if you don't hear or see them. It can get quite embarrassing especially at a store or restaurant, but you have to do it. If it gets bad, just hold their hand and say, okay lets go home now. They will yell your head off in the car, and sitting quietly is not what you want to do .. but you must. It works, and doesn't take such a long time, two or three till they realize, that there is no reason to scream and stuff, cause no one listens. You must ask guests, grandparents to do the same when they come over, cause they can ruin your masterpiece - when working on it!

Answer 5

We as parents always want to please our children, but sometimes the answer is no, because we know what's best for them. Children are going to have a negative reaction to the word No, because we human beings always want what we want. Well, there is no easy answer to your question...You say no, and then give the answer why you are saying no. Children understand at a very early age, what it means to explain that you simply don't have the money to pay for that toy, or candy now. it's important to let our children know about money, and that it doesn't grow on trees. Sometimes the answer no is because it is not in their best interest, for instance;we will be eating dinner in less than an hour so you can't have anything to eat right now. Sometimes it stinks to be the bad guy.It is our job to be parents, not their best friend. Believe me when I say they don't always have to like what we do or say, we won't always like what they do or say either.But we will always love our babies.

Answer 6

Be firm, just say no, not angry, just no. If they have a tantrum, tell them you are just going to take him and leave. Then do it, take his arm and lead him out. If they are good in the store, when you are leaving, praise him and offer to give him a quarter pony ride or some other small appropriate thing. Do Not give in when he has a fit and buy him what he wants to quiet him down, you will teach him that tantrums work. He will learn quickly that being "good" has rewards.

PS With small children you have to explain "good". Good to a 4 year old is running wild. Say "I want you to sit quietly, don't speak loudly, and don't ask for anything". Adults and children have different definitions of good.

Answer 7

Were not getting a new toy today,but if you keep being good then we can go for a walk when we get home!~or~Oh,I think you have enough toys, you know what you really need? A new tooth brush, lets go pick one out! If the child starts to get upset,say okay then we wont be going for a walk today,or no new toothbrush. Good luck! :)

Answer 8

a firm no
sometimes its not peaceful no matter what, but some times they accept it. Children are little social creatures with a mind of their own and they want things to go their way just like everybody else
if you use bribery or trickery the next no will be way worse
if they ask why not saying 'because i said and i am the boss' is enough

Answer 9

Read the Book Parenting With Love and Logic

Answer 10

No is not a peaceful word. It is rooted in antagonism and dissappointment. Life is full of no's. I don't think the word should be sugar-coated. Do your children and society a favour and just say "no". When they ask why? "Because I said so" should suffice. You shouldn't have to explain yourself to your children. I love my son dearly and we have a very close relationship, but no is no...