I really like this girl I've known for about 4 month's now she knows this and she likes me too, so I got her number and tried to get a date going or something that She her daughter and I could do together...but all my attempts have been unsuccessful. One of my friends talked to her and she said "Me and my daughter would just be a burden to him, and I don't want to put that on him" I can understand why she feels this way, but I don't. So my question is how can I get her to understand that I'm not holding her daughter against her? I know she has a daughter I understand that things would be different...I'm okay with that. Her duaghter just started kindergarten today, and she is really kinda stressed out so I don't think I'll be calling her for awhile....Is that a good idea?
2006-08-23 14:27:57 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Now that I think about it I've kinda been on the opposite side of the situation, so I can totally understand how they feel. My mom was single and dating ever since I could remember(she still does LOL). I've seen how it is through her daughters eyes.
2006-08-23 14:57:41 · update #1
It is a very good idea to stay away while she is stressed.
But in a little while just be persistent, very persistent. I mean in the end I guess it lies in her hands of what can happen, but maybe someone told her she was a burden or would forever be one. You just need to change her frame of mind. Instead of flowers send her coloring books and crayons with a little note that says "I hope this is something you both can enjoy" . Just take many small steps and in no time you will win her over.
I commend you for being so open and willing. She will notice it sooner than later. I hope you are willing to wait just a while and I wish all 3 of you the best of luck.
If I get best answer do I get an invite to the wedding? LOL
2006-08-23 14:35:37 · answer #1 · answered by lalala 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She's feeling insecure. I think she has feelings for you but doesn't want you to think that she's just looking for a father for her child. She's afraid of scaring you away with the fact that she is a mother. If you are serious about this woman, don't desert her because she's stressed about things; if you stop calling her, that's what it will feel like. You can back off a bit, but let her know that you're still there and will be there if she needs a shoulder or an ear. Be persistent. Continue to include her daughter when you ask her out. Eventually, she'll realize that you mean what you say.
2006-08-23 14:43:37 · answer #2 · answered by K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you're willing to take on that responsibility, then go for it. She's just being logical right now. A lot of men are not ready, willing, or able to take on a ready made family. She probably knows this from experience (I'm sure she dated before she met you). If you really want to be with her, you basically have to prove your worth. Be persistent and consistent, and do things to make her see and realize that you'd be good boyfriend material if that's truly what you want to be. But do NOT push the issue....that will make her wonder if there's ulterior motives for your wanting to be with her.
2006-08-23 14:51:50 · answer #3 · answered by Dee M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The world should really have more men like you. Just try and stress to her that you are interested in her AND her child. As a single mom though I understand where she is coming from. We sometimes don't know a good man b/c of a previous bad one. It takes time. Hang in there.
2006-08-23 14:36:16 · answer #4 · answered by vernise2679 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO! Call her and make it a point to SHOW a TRUE intrest in how her daughter did on her first day of kindergarten...Tell her you'd like to take her daughter and her out for a first week kindergarten type celebration... Maybe let the daughter chose where you go...Let her see that YOU want the complete package! Her and her daughter...and maybe on this "date" bring her daughter a balloon and her a single rose..or bring them BOTH a flower..show them you like THEM BOTH!!
2006-08-23 14:35:36 · answer #5 · answered by just me 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Move on. Think about it, if a girl truely really liked you, her daughter wouldn't be a factor in her desire to be together with you. She will TRY to be with you despite having a daughter.
Forget about doing things with both of them. She obviously isn't ready for you to be that involved with her little girl. Just try to go on dates with her. If she brush you off as well with some half-baked excuse, then you will know that you attention and affection is not welcomed or needed.
2006-08-23 14:33:14 · answer #6 · answered by Lyon D. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something she isn't telling you. You better leave that one alone.
2006-08-23 14:31:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN
2006-08-23 14:30:16 · answer #8 · answered by GIDDYUP 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋