me and this guy have been dating for a month everything is going well we are sooo close like gf and bf we do everything that people do in relationships he calls me baby....etc but his job (military)takes up his time he works 20 hour shifts non stop i work on the same base with him so i will see him working but he said that he does'nt want a girlfriend because he doesn't want her to feel ignored because of his job he said that he loves spending time with me but it will be soo hard for him to hear me say i miss him and him not being able to spend time with me the way i want....i'm confused i don't know what to say or do about this because there is something there between us and he's afraid for us to move forward it's hard with the little time he will have for me but i really like him and i feel that i can handle it if we get together how do i tell him without being too pushy?
2006-08-23 14:09:17 · 13 answers · asked by mrs. MJ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It does sounds like he cares about you. Just give it time it's only been a month. Men take a lot longer to show their feelings than women do. If he is telling you that he doesn't want a girlfriend anything you say to progress the relationship will sound pushy at this point. I also think he's being very responsible for not getting into anything too emotional right now. Being in the military is a hard thing right now. That alone is emotional enough. Just have a little patience. Best of luck
2006-08-23 14:44:12 · answer #1 · answered by mom_2scotty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I kinda have the same thing going on W/ my BF. He has 2 business' that he works for and he works pretty much 24/7. I've talked to him about us not seeing each other until he's got stuff @ work under control and he's got more time for us coz I hate not seeing him and vice versa. But he won't let me. He thinks that if we break up then he's gonna lose me to someone else and he's never gonna see me again. Personally I think that if he says he doesn't want a GF then you can't make him change his thoughts. He's obviously thought it over. I would let him go...move on before you get to like him even more. It's only been a month so it shouldn't be that hard. If he didn't want to lose you then he wouldn't be letting you go.
2006-08-23 14:17:43 · answer #2 · answered by shoeaholic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
release it to the Lord. in other words, do nothing and act apathetic about it (like you could care less). Act happy to hear from him etc etc, but don't pursue. don't ever pursue. if he's into you he'll bite when you pull away. if he's 'just not that into you' you'll figure it out. you may know that already (?)
It is hard to do this, but if he isn't that into you trying to get him to be will be the biggest waste of time. If it works and he comes for you, it will be worth it. There is no downside. Enjoy your life and when he's around so be it. But keep open your options while you enjoy his friendship. and never never pursue. guys withdraw from this BIG TIME. (read the book The Rules)
2006-08-23 14:13:25 · answer #3 · answered by mishel24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you want the relationship and he doesn't. If that's the case, you can't make someone see you in a romantic fashion. Yes, this may be a tough pill to swallow, but it is necessary to realize this. I'd suggest that you cut loses, move on, and find a man who actually wants to spend time with you and likes you! You deserve that, as does everyone else in the world. Remember: Why be with someone who doesn't want to be with you first?
2006-08-23 14:14:21 · answer #4 · answered by varmitterminator 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The typical military guy! They are full of excuses and just want us for the sex! Trust me, I've been through that! If he really likes you and feels something for you he will committ whether he's here or in China! But if you really like this guy and have high hopes with him, ask him what he really wants. Follow your heart! But heres a tip just so you know, We never have time, we make up time! Good Luck!
2006-08-23 14:15:30 · answer #5 · answered by xSilverStarx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he says this because he really cares about you and doesn't want to see you get hurt by his job ext. The only advice I have to give is to tell him that no matter what you really care about him and that you know what your doing and you want to be with him (and if you love him tell him). I wish you luck on this.
2006-08-23 14:14:03 · answer #6 · answered by jessdjnick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him know once and thouroughly that you are interested in taking things further and that you understand the situation, and then give him some space to miss you ;)--get a bit busy, spend time with friends, dont be so available. bettin he comes on back and gets over himself.
2006-08-23 14:12:09 · answer #7 · answered by Eos 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you realy care about him and that your not afraid to commit and can handle the little time he has for you. just tell him how you really feel. im pretty sure you wont sound pushy.
2006-08-23 14:11:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes it good to spend little time together in a relationship. it means when you do have time it is precious and loving. read more on dating and relationships on this site
2006-08-23 14:11:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL HIM U KNOW HIS CAREER COMES FIRST BUT U ARE WILLING TO BE SECOND AND THAT U REALLY LIKE HIM AND UNDERSTAND THAT HE IS AFRAID BUT IF U LIKE EACH OTHER IT CAN WORK!
2006-08-23 14:14:34 · answer #10 · answered by SIS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋