I've had my bridesmaids picked since before i got engaged. I recently found out that my soon-to-be sister-in-law will be heartbroken if not in the wedding. It's not that i dont like her, i just dont know her well. Am I making the wrong decision by having her in the wedding?
2006-08-23 14:03:15 · 12 answers · asked by tonimmerritt 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She is going to be family soon, do you really want to start off on the wrong foot? No.
Ask her to be a bridesmaid. It's kind of traditional to do so, even if you don't know her well. It's more of a curtosy to HIS family. (not to you)
She doesn't have to be maid of honor, just a bridesmaid. Plus, this may give you that chance to get to know her better. (Look at the postitive.)
If she does say no to being a bridesmaid, then you can ask her to do the guestbook, etc.
2006-08-23 16:46:02 · answer #1 · answered by Laura 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't have to have a big role in the wedding. If you are getting married in a church, you have to have someone do the readings, give her that job. If you are going to have a guestbook, have her stand by that and greet people and hand the people your program. She does not have to be a bridesmaid and for her to expect to be in the wedding because she is related to the groom shows that she is trying to control your wedding. I did not have my sisters or my sisters-in-law in my wedding, but then they were okay with that. I also had my attendants figured out before I was engaged.
2006-08-23 21:20:00 · answer #2 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Even if you dont know her very well, try to include the family as much as you can. You are going to be a part of the family. Maybe her being a bridesmaid well help yall get to know each other.Don't go being a bridezilla with her so that she doesnt like you. I dont like my fiances mom and she still has to be in it.I'm marrying him not her
2006-08-24 11:54:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why should she be upset. This is your wedding not hers!!! I understand that she wants to be in the wedding but not everyone gets to. I think that you shouldn't have to rearrange anything because someone wants to be in that you don't really want. Just explain that you are sorry and that you have chosen your bridesmaids already. It's not like your brother is going to be ticked if your fiance doesn't make him a groomsman.
2006-08-23 21:15:13 · answer #4 · answered by myloveismusic11 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would plan on letting her in. This is a great way to know her better and she will be your sister soon. It would be the same way if your sister got married-- you always dreamed of being in the wedding, right? Don't worry about if the sides are uneven, asymmetry is fine.
I wanted to have a really small bridal party, so my bf and I looked at who we were going to have in our wedding and he was big on having his sister in the wedding. I know her well and we are not close, but it is important to him so she'll be one of my bridesmaids.
It is better to build bridges than burn them in this case.
Good Luck!
2006-08-23 21:18:12 · answer #5 · answered by emp04 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Family should be chosen first to stand up in a wedding. Leaving her out is not a good way to start, who cares if you have one more? Do the right thing.
2006-08-23 21:10:38 · answer #6 · answered by st pete rn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's good that you are having her in the wedding . After all, she is your husband to be's sister. Who's to say, but it can create feelings of bitterness later on in the future.
2006-08-23 21:39:15 · answer #7 · answered by HappyCat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your soon to be sister-in-law, needs to grow up and get over it. It's your wedding, have you want. I didn't have my future sister-in-law in Bridle party, so we gave her the job of handing out the rice packets at the back of the church after the ceremony.
2006-08-23 21:07:49 · answer #8 · answered by Doreen A 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i was a little upset when my sister-in-law didn't ask me but i realized it's her day & she should pick whoever she wanted.
you may want to ask your fiance if it would cause a major rift in the family if you don't include her. if it would, try to think of some way to include her. if it won't, then do what you want, it's your wedding, not hers.
2006-08-24 13:59:05 · answer #9 · answered by ms v 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not knowing her well is not a good reason to say no to her. Until you have any other good justification on why she shouldn't be your bridesmaid I suggest you include her in. Goodluck and congratulations !!
2006-08-23 21:06:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋