Family problem-Serious help really would be appreciated?

Question

Ok bare with me because this take a while to explain but basically I live at home with both my parents and my two younger sisters; I'm 19 & I'm working part-time.So far Ive had problems getting down to studying despite the fact that I enjoy my subject-partly due to attending different schools&my parents splitting up etc..but now everything has settled down but I still dont feel the preasureto actually study.My dad in particular is very supportive in helping me with trying to sudy but obviously it all boils down to me doing the work.I actually get on very well with my dad but hes threatening to ask me to find somewhere else to live if I dont study.I know if I did move out i would move back in again because I know rationally I still need their support but do you think that it should get to that stage in order for me to actually face life and learn, which is what im not doing or just study and hope I keep up the motivation. I hope this is'nt too confusing but I am really confused myself..

Answer 1

Your question is actually very sensible and it makes perfect sense, you come across as very mature for your age, I understand that it is 'a bit of a pain' getting your head down and studying but it really is no big deal in the grand scheme of things, If you had to move out on your own you would suffer financially and probably emotionally as well as you sound quite close to your Dad, he is trying to encourage you to study for your own good, he wants you to be happy and do well for yourself and that may be why he is trying to 'scare' you into studying.
Hope this helps and good luck.

Answer 2

I have had a block about study before. Even though it was really important to my future I just could not do it. The block was that I believed that if I studied I would not be good enough, and I just could not do it. If I tried I could not concentrate. The work was interesting but essays etc. would not get done. As an adult I know that I have this weakness and normally I do not have a block like this. I suggest you talk to someone sensible and find out if you have a problem with study. You can email me if you want to, but you may find a counsellor a bit more use. There will be a counselling service nearby, or you can go to "Off the record" Please tackle your father and explain how you fell again. I think you are very capable and aware or you would not be writing such a question.

Answer 3

when i was studying for my degree i used to get writers block all the time, and i used to put off working- i just couldn't seem to motivate myself and it's really hard, so i totally understand what you re going through.
Basically you re letting the fact that you can't study rule you- and this , as you've already said could lead to even more bigger problems.
don't look at the problem as a big one- break it down.
for example try to do 10 mins at first and then have a break, then build it up give yourself time to get into the subject slowly, otherwise your gonna get even more confused.
At the end of the day 10 mins is better than nothing.
If after a couple of hours of doing this you don't feel any better then go out, do something completely different for a little a while.
There may well be underlying reasons for your mental block- tiredness, hunger etc, so make sure your workspace is really comfortable and relaxing.
The best thing i can say really is don't let this opportunity of education pass you by, you will really regret it in the future, and you do seem to want to learn.

good luck- I'm sure that everything will work out.

Answer 4

I would try and study while you are young it is easier than later on in life.

My son lost his Grandad in January and this had a knock on effect on his study. He was lucky he had a tutor who helped him as much as he could to catch up. He let him use the computers in the computer room when no one was in there doing a lesson.

I imagine your parents splitting up and getting back together had an effect on you. I would ask at college if they have a student councillor to help you organise a study timetable for when you are at home.

I don't think your dad's ultimatum was fair, you have a part time job as well as studying so you are not exactly sitting around doing nothing by the sound of things. I wonder how your mum feels about his ultimatum.

I do know it is easier to study at your age than trying to do it when you are older according to the information I looked into it for my son. He was considering giving up earlier in the year but stuck it out. He just got his results he got 3 passes and 1 merit for the work he has done this last year.

At the end of the day it is your choice, you are classed as an adult now. I would say try your best and see what happens.

Hope this helps. :-)

Answer 5

If you're not motivated with the subject you have, try something you are interested in. I hated studying until I found the right subject for me and ended up putting my all into it, and actually really enjoyed it. I know it might seem like your dad's being a pain, but I'm sure he only wants the best for you which is why he is making such a threat (in a strange kinda way I guess it makes sense). On the other hand, don't be forced into something you don't want to do. Find an interesting subject for you that you won't want to put down, and good luck.

Answer 6

How long do you want to love at home? If you one Day want to be independent self supportive have a LIFE for yourself then study. In other words stop being the child that still needs parents to push to the limit to do-playing the control game or be grownup for should have some maturity and motivation at 19 to be your own person. Studying gets knowledge and so on the get better money job and financial independence is great. Only one that can motivate you is you.

Answer 7

I think you should study and have your dads support, as if i was 19 and was in your shoes and had the head i have got now that's what i would do.... you are gonna have to handle the life in a few years anyway so why not study as you will be working towards a better future and will make handling of life a lot more easier.....use the time wisely and good luck......

Answer 8

You have choices to make, Trust me you do not want to be out their in the streets. Join a study group, or start one, their are a lot of people like you who are in the same boat, this could be a motivation for you. to study. Talk to people, check at the library. The choices you make now, is what going to follow you through life. So be the best that you can be.

Answer 9

Feel sorry for you kiddo, to be honest if your not really interested in your studies you are wasting your time as you cant get good grades if you havn't put the work in. It would be hard for you to maintain yourself if you move out with no support. Try and reason with your dad and discuss your options with him in an adult fashion. The way forward might be to get a job live at home and pay keep, speak to him and see what he says.

Answer 10

you say that your not keen on studying altho you love the subject your doin...why dont you make a deal with your dad that you study 4 nights out of 7 but then make it a propper study night invite a friend round that does the same subject make the room cosy have some munchies and juice< Its just we parents know that there aint much possibility of jobs these days.We just want out children to know this and do well.
I worry about my eldest and hes only goin into year 8.
I moved out of the family home at 17 but that was because i nearly choked my sister to death("~) for playing my mam and dad against eachother.It aint so bad i never went back and was holdin down 2 jobs in a crummy bedsit.Im sure your dad wont want that for you all he wants is for you to show him your heads down and your doing it and enjoying it and involving him..good luck chik x