There is a guy at college who I am very interested in and really like. We've kept in touch through email over the summer and he called me last weekend and we talked for almost four hours. I will be seeing him when we get back to school on Saturday. The problem is that I recently ended a relationship that I had been in for over a year and a half, and I don't feel ready to take on another boyfriend yet. To compound this problem, my ex called Monday to tell me that he's moving across the country, and I got a lot more upset about it than I thought I would. If it come up (and I'm fairly certain that it will!), how do I tell this guy at school that I really like him and I would be really happy to go out on dates with him and get to know him better, but I'm not ready for a boyfriend, without him thinking I'm just trying to let him down gently and that I'll never be interested in being his girlfriend, which is NOT the case? Please, I don't need snide or lewd remarks, just help.
2006-08-23 13:25:18 · 13 answers · asked by Cat Loves Her Sabres 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell this guy that you would like to get to know him as friends for right now but you just got out of a relationship and need time to get your emotions in order. If he is understanding a patient then you've found a good guy. If he doesn't then move on a just be alone for awhile.
2006-08-23 13:30:33 · answer #1 · answered by RedC. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1)The first person you have to worry about is yourself. Until you feel good about the past boyfriend, how can you be a good girlfriend now? 2) If he does not have compassion and understanding for you about your recent break up and feels you are just letting him down, then you are better off without him at this time. You certainly don't need this extra stress as you start back to college. If it does not work out now, possibly it will down the road. Good Luck!
2006-08-23 13:37:20 · answer #2 · answered by HolidayGurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be a real person and straight forward (everyone respects that), you said this in your question" I really like him and I would be really happy to go out on dates with him and get to know him better, but I'm not ready for a boyfriend" so say it to him! and maybe say a little about your last and that you just need a little time to get past it, he WILL understand because I sure do and I dont even know you. Happens all the time,if he is all you think he is he will be totally cool with it- :)
2006-08-23 13:30:55 · answer #3 · answered by distalbicept 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you know exactly what you need to do. It can be scary to have to confront issues of the heart. I have only done it a few times myself and I am 26. You need to way to him at school exactly what you said here that you just got out of a relationship and that you aren't ready for another boyfriend yet but that you like him and want to date. Good luck!
2006-08-23 13:29:28 · answer #4 · answered by poof10958 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi I feel your pain, I've been through some trying times just as yours. and I've learned its always best to be honest, keep the conversation short and sweet but to the point, he does not need to know details. Ex: your digging him, its just bad timing, and you want to hang out and let things flow... Besides he might not even want a relationship, u may just be paranoid because of all that's going on, however, it is always good to be prepared..
Relax and let it flow...
2006-08-23 13:33:45 · answer #5 · answered by sassyme... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just explain to him that while you are willing to go with him, you aren't necessarily ready to committ to a full-blown serious relationship. If you can talk to him easily like it sounds, I am certain that he would be understanding and patient enough to take things nice and slow. Then, when you are ready, he will be too! Good luck and God Bless!
2006-08-23 13:29:58 · answer #6 · answered by kevin_p0 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth, how you feel, and why you are upset. Let him that you are not just trying to let him down easy. All I can say is communication, communication, communication!!! Good luck! I hope everything goes well.
2006-08-23 13:35:23 · answer #7 · answered by . 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL HIM THAT U JUST GOT OUT OF A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP SO UR NOT READY4 ANYTHING SERIOUS YET BUT U WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW HIM BETTER AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS MAKE SURE HES UP FOR IT....AND DONT LEAD HIM ON....EITHER UR READY OR UR NOT....DONT MAKE ANY MOVES UNTIL UR READY 4 A B/F!
2006-08-23 13:33:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just exactly like u explained it to us! Try it honesty is the best policy
2006-08-23 13:28:07 · answer #9 · answered by fox69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best thing. With friends honesty is very important.
2006-08-23 13:34:38 · answer #10 · answered by babygirl000000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋