Just be honest If i have mistakes or whatever then plz let me know coz English is not my mother language
I wrote it after my ex has broke up with me..
late at night wen am all awake.
I keep thinking about the love that has fade.
I believe I loved you, I believe I cared.
You had it all good for you but you were never there.
What did I do? what did I say?
To make you say goodbye and walk away.
I sometimes cry and am not ashamed.
I just dont get why you had me there.
You said U loved me and you made it seem real.
But You'd never know how u have made me feel.
You broke my heart and left me alone.
but its weird how I still love you with all my soul.
2006-08-23 11:45:51 · 21 answers · asked by rosa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't want to be mean, but I don't like your poem. It is nothing but a collection of trite, cliched lines. I am sure that your feelings are true and deep, and I am sorry you were hurt. I just don't really like the poem very much.
2006-08-25 09:23:16 · answer #1 · answered by michaelscar 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i like it heres a poem i wrote tell me what u think.... i have 60 pages of poems i love to write em..
Never felt the way I do now
In the past I’ve wanted something’s badly
But they were things I’ve never had
Now I know what it is I want
I’ve had it for so long
But now it’s gone
Will she come back
It’s out of my hands
Sitting waiting for the phone to ring
Its like some horrible dream
I cant eat I can’t sleep
My minds dark side takes over
Making me want to never be sober
Everything reminds me of you
I look over at the passenger seat
See your silhouette in my mind
Carry on conversations with a ghost
Pass the places we’ve stopped and made love
Lose myself in those moments again
When will you call me baby
When can we put this behind
When can we get on with our life
I fear it’ll never happen
Your running away from your fears
Your running away from us
Commitment is a scary word
You can’t give yourself to me
So can it every be?
I just don’t see how it can
You’ve taken my heart and run away
Its hard to live without one
I can’t breath, the only thing keeping me here
Is the thought that my fears won’t come true
That just maybe I wont lose you
Well go back to being the best of friends and lovers
Well hide under the covers for days
Lost in loves purple haze
I love you….
Please come back
2006-08-23 18:50:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound naive .
its something a seventh grader would write after she just broke up with some cutie .
here is a good breakup poem i wrote :
i do not love you
i swear
beleive me
the only reason i look at you that way
is because im curious
of how youve been doing without me
and i do not want you
i swear
beleive me
the only reason
i think about you so much
is because the ocean winds make me colld
and the fridgid tempurature reminds me of you
and i dont miss you
i swear
believe me
the only reason i call so much
is because no one else is picking up
i dont need you
i swear
believe me
i just stay up this late
because im so uncomfortable
and the sky isnt blue
i swear
believe me
it just seems that way .
2006-08-23 18:53:23 · answer #3 · answered by supersonicoverdrivve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not trying to be mean, but it's not a very good poem because it is things that have already been said in a thousand million love poems.
Write what is in your mind only and if all that is in your mind are words like "you broke my heart" or "I still love you", I cannot be convinced that you understand who you really are or what you really felt.
Don't be disappointed. Most people aren't very good at writing poetry.
2006-08-23 18:51:17 · answer #4 · answered by Tones 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I guess the guy must really have broken your heart huh? Oh well, there are plenty of guys in the world so don't worry. You'll find a better one. Your poem is pretty good except for some grammar mistakes and spelling errors.
2006-08-23 18:48:19 · answer #5 · answered by Crescent 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like u got hurt big time. sry to hear that. it is a very good poem, though, have u considered doing this professionally, ur really good. and u dont always have focus on the negative stuff, either. u would be really good if u did this professionally.
God bless ya!
2006-08-23 19:03:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very touching and don't worry about the English, poems aren't in the Grammarian Field. Sorry for your pain, but it too shall pass.
2006-08-23 18:52:38 · answer #7 · answered by theoldguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow this is really excellent. it's obvious from this that he broke you heart. change the first line to 'late at night when i'm awake' and it will be perfect. you should definately write more poetry. congratulations and good luck with it in the future.
2006-08-23 18:52:57 · answer #8 · answered by burn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a nice sad poem, just a correction I noticed "late at night when I'm all awake, "other than that correction you did really well. I feel for you...
2006-08-23 18:53:37 · answer #9 · answered by moni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so good and so SAD if like my boyfriend just broke up with me i would be crying! dang you should do that for a living! lol
2006-08-23 18:50:11 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ Sunshine ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋