I have decided I don't belive in religion or a god of any sort. We usually say a quick prayer before eating. However, since I have decided no religion, how can I excuse myself from this? I don't want to pray just to appease someone when I don't believe in what I am praying to. By the way, I am talking about when I sit down to eat with my own family (my husband - who also doesn't believe, my daughter -who believes, and my other two children- who aren't really old enough to believe yet). Also, when we eat at my husbands aunt's house (they are pretty religious).
2006-08-23 11:33:27 · 25 answers · asked by cows4me79 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I'm a Christian and I'm going to answer this (hopefully) in a very open-minded way.
If you are at home - it's your house. You should explain to your daughter that you don't believe and you don't feel comfortable saying prayers at the dinner table. Encourage her to say her prayers at night time or other alone time. (I'm trying to flip this, as if what I would do if my daughter decided not to pray - I would ask her to respect my house - I'm the MOM! and it's my house). So you have the right to not feel uncomfortable in your own home and not have someone pray - even if it is your daughter. ... I don't agree with it, but I'm being open-minded here. Just pls don't discourage your daughter if she believes. ;->
As for you going to someone else's home. In that case, you don't have to pray, but to be polite by just being quiet and still during "their" time of prayer. When in Rome... you know how that goes. If you were in another country and the custom was to sit on the floor, you would probably sit on the floor along with everyone else. It's just being respectful to your hosts.
That's my suggestion. I absolutely don't agree with it, but I guess it's your house and you should not feel uncomfortable in your own home.
I know you won't like this: but I will say a prayer for you in your situation.
2006-08-23 11:51:12 · answer #1 · answered by LittleFreedom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand this as I'm an atheist too. For many years I battled hiding my beliefs and trying to "make pretty" for other people. Then about a year ago, I realized it doesn't really matter. Why? Well, since I don't believe in a god it doesn't matter if I pray to their god or am just resting my eyes.
I also realized something about homes and picking the right battle. For example, I don't wear shoes in my house and most people coming over will take them off. There are some who feel shy or embarrassed and so, it's a "if you want to take your shoes off" rule. Now if it was smoking, NO WAY! ; )
I guess what I'm getting at, is courtesy. If you bow your head in prayer, think of it as a time to meditate about world peace, say your favorite poem, but do so because you're saying "I'm in your home and I respect your beliefs. Please respect mine".
I also want to congratulate you for being open with your daughter...I think this is exactly the sort of attitude more people need to take in regards to beliefs...respect.
2006-08-23 11:46:24 · answer #2 · answered by Peaceonearth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either politely just nod ur head while the prayer is being said, or perform some act that you personally feel is at the same time respecting their choice of religion and also NOT putting you in a position to be viewed as committing blasphemy. It might also feel better to your conscience if you just sucked it up and discussed your feelings with your family.
If they are not understanding in the beginning, I'm not sure what I would do, I'm sorry. But after a similar very uncomfortable (for me) discussion, my in-laws have respected my choice of religion by never asking me to say a prayer before dinner and have even gone so far as to NOT pray before dinner. This is something of course I didn't ask for or even wanted! Please, by all means, believe what you believe, I respect people's choices even if I don't personally believe in their God.
Anywho- good luck trying to untangle the snarl of dinnertime blessings. As for your own dinner table, talk it over with your husband and daughter (if she is old enough) and see what THEY would want.
2006-08-23 11:43:30 · answer #3 · answered by Ancient Forever Lost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your own home you should be able to do what you want. You didn't say how old your daughter is, but you can explain to her that you no longer care to pray and that if she would like to continue praying that would be fine, but let her know that you will not be praying any longer. When you go over to family members houses, just sit quietly while they pray, but if asked to say the prayer, I would just decline...saying you'd rather not. My Mom is very religious and when I am in her home and she prays, I sit quietly, but I do not close my eyes and I do not say amen, because that would be agreeing with everything she said. She knows when she is in my home there will be no prayer said.
2006-08-23 11:44:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry you dont believe in God anymore. I know the truth and I cant imagine life without God. Anyway, dont stop anyone else from praying. I know you dont believe, but they do. So let them pray, it wont hurt anything. Still go along with it, its just being polite. Does it really bother you that much to leave the room? I cant imagine why. Also I know you dont do it anymore, but if you ever just are stressed or something, just try having a conversation with God. You dont have to make it religious. Just tell Him about your day, your mistakes, the good the bad, whats going on. A man once said that if its hard for you to talk to God because you cant imagine anyone being there, put a chair in front of you and talk as if He is sitting there. Praying helps me so much, so just try it sometime.
2006-08-23 11:42:59 · answer #5 · answered by A* 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, I am a Christian man, so keep that in mind as I answer this.
If you are truly offended by people praying over a meal, then I would suggest you saying something. Maybe be willing to allow silent prayer from your family if they choose so. If you are not offended, then I would say that you should just sit there quietly. You are not praying if you are not taking part in the actualy prayer.
Honestly, I don't know the family or people involved, but I would just say "you know, I really don't believe the same thing you guys do, so I really don't believe in prayer. I am not saying you guys can't pray quietly, because I respect that you believe, but I just don't wish to take part. Would you mind not asking me to take part, and please not be offended when I don't take part?"
2006-08-23 11:39:55 · answer #6 · answered by Steve M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a no-brainer.
If you don't want to pray, don't pray.
But do respect the right of others to pray.
You don't have to broadcast your lack of belief every time somebody bows their head to pray. It's not as if anyone is gonna notice if you just be quiet. Would it really hurt you so much to sit and be quiet for a few minutes??
2006-08-23 11:45:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do no longer. that must be destructive for her. consistent with danger she has gained weight because of the fact she is feeling depressed (probably because of the fact she feels which you're no longer attracted to her). in case you nonetheless safeguard her, and the dating yet are in basic terms no longer bodily attracted to her, advise some thing exciting and actual to do togehter. attempt suggesting a walk with the aid of a park, or a bike holiday. it may well be a lovable date in case you plan nicely. yet once you're in basic terms bored stiff, then break up along with her, gently. tell her you do no longer experience like it somewhat is determining. do no longer tell her she's fats, or unattractive. it is terrible. And stay faraway from her sister. this is undesirable form.
2016-10-02 11:16:49 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
now this is a tricky one having a daughter in a home that believes and the parents don't
i would suggest that you explain to your daughter if she is old enough how you feel ... but also please help her understand that she has her own mind and opinion to believe what she wants
and maybe before dinner ... have a few minutes silence while your daughter has a silent prayer .. maybe in these few minutes you can enjoy the silence ( like a few moments meditation )
i cant think of anything else sorry .. as i said this one is tricky but love to you xx
2006-08-23 11:38:08 · answer #9 · answered by Peace 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have every right not to believe and not to pray, and you should not be condemned for your beliefs, no matter how religious your husbands family is. Just tell them the truth!
2006-08-23 12:06:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋