we met in 98 .we worked at the same place and lost touch till about 2003 and we got close.things were great until he got into drugs couldnt hold a job, lying ,temper got real bad roughed me up,put a restraining order on him and now he is in jail.i know him when he wasnt on drugs and it was amazing how his personna changed,i still think about and miss him ...yes what we had but him too.
2006-08-23 10:59:52 · 5 answers · asked by Agent99 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this.
Love IS a choice, but once you've chosen to see the soul inside the collection of bumper stickers and dings in the fenders that a person's life resembles, you can't NOT see it anymore. Just like you can't unlearn something. People who don't love him see the abusive, deceitful drug addict who is living a wasted life. You see someone who used to be a child, someone who, at one time, had not yet been ruined by the the unfortunate path he has chosen for himself.
What you're feeling right now is the pain and sadness of seeing his life rotting away. It hurts, because you see his potential, yet he does not. So this is what is causing you to feel the frustration that you do.
One thing I think people make the mistake of believing is that if you truly love someone, you MUST make the relationship work. The premise being that a true love can only be proven to exist if you and the other person are "together". I disagree. In your case, your first responsibility is to your own safety and well-being. Your boyfriend made your relationship unsafe for you, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. So you should not feel any guilt at all for looking out for your health. Indeed, he should be as concerned for you as you are.
You still love him, but he needs help. He doesn't need romantic love right now; he needs the strong, firm, tough love of a friend. And part of that love is removing yourself from his life. Once he has healed his life (and that is something he must do on his own), he may be ready to accept the kind of love you want to offer him. Until then, though, he needs to learn how to love himself.
I wish you all the best.
2006-08-23 15:40:49 · answer #1 · answered by intuition897 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is not a choice. We sometimes fall in love with a person when we least expect it. But you should find someone who will not use drugs and breaks the law. Those people rarely change.
2006-08-23 18:03:44 · answer #2 · answered by SEXY 818 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you fell in love with who he was and may be but drugs can take all that away. the hardest part about loving someone is letting them go when you truley do love them.its the good memories that we hold onto that make it so hard to stop loving them especially if there were more good than bad memories
2006-08-23 18:11:12 · answer #3 · answered by donovan b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mistake is in the first step. love is not a choice, and if you think about it you will understand that it's something far away frome choice. it' come without your permision, and it goes the same. burns you as much as it wants,....
2006-08-23 18:44:51 · answer #4 · answered by Mehdi ((sade del)) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is not a choice.........it's a feeling. There are just some things u choose not to like.....normal
2006-08-23 18:03:15 · answer #5 · answered by nck_bulletzz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋