Can anyone recover the lost self confidence and self respect after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder?

Question

I was diagnosed 7 years ago with bipolar disorder. I tried to work for a while. I was an LPN but I couldn't sleep and would go days and nights without sleeping, eventually ending up in a bad manic episode. I finally got on disability but now I feel so useless. This week I tried to go back to college and after 2 days suffered such horrific anxiety attatcks, I had to withdraw. My doctor gave me meds. but they make me feel so loopy and I can't drive when I'm taking them. I feel like my life is over. My 2 children are grown, I have 4 grandchildren, but can't spend a lot of time with them because of becoming too nervous. Is there any purpose or reason left for me in this life. It gets harder and harder to find a reason to live. I went job hunting a few weeks ago. But since I haven't worked in 8 years and I don't have that many skills anymore,I didn't get any calls.In LPN school I was best in my class. Won every award the school gave away. But look at me now. Just a shell of my former self

Answer 1

Yes, and yes. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II fourteen years ago and have been extremely fortunate to get world-class care. I am an ultra-rapid cycler and got my Social Security Disability (SSDI) just over three years ago. I see my psychiatrist 3 to 4 times a year and take 4 different psychotropics. I see a clinical psychologist every 3 weeks when I am stable, once a week if I'm not (usually in the fall and winter). I attend a weekly support group.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy has been very effective for me, as has working with my psychiatrist on how to tweak my meds when I start to cycle in order to prevent a full-blown episode.
I got my self-esteem back over a long period of time and lots of therapy. I had to give up my career as a speech pathologist, which was really tough-- it took me 3 years to let it go, as I was really good at it and had 20 years experience and tons of training. I felt like damaged goods, for sure. You need to see that you have the disorder; it doesn't have you!

I, too, tried going back to school, but it didn't work for me, either. Instead, I started a pet-sitting company and keep it small by doing MAXIMUM 7 visits a day. Not only is this best for maintaining my mental health, but I am still below the earning limit set by the SSA, so I keep my benefits.
Your medication situation needs to be addressed. Go back to your doctor and tell him/her about your side-effects: you don't need to suffer with that. The only ones I have are fatigue and reduced short-term memory. I can live with being stupid; it's better than mania or a mixed state! I hope you are on a mood stablizer (Lamictal, Depakote, Lithium, Topamax), maybe an antidepressant (Lexapro, wellbutrin, Effexor), and an antipsychotic (Seroquel, Geodon, Zyprexa). Ativan or klonopin may be helpful for anxiety.
I felt like my life was over, too. Don't give up, and get some help which will teach you to manage your condition. Remember, it's like managing any other chronic disease (like HTN or diabetes). You will get your life back, although it will be different than before. Try to be flexible, and good luck!

Answer 2

Please don't feel useless because of this, you are a very bright human being!! I sure wish I could have been an LPN!! I was never smart enough to go to college in the first place, when I was diagnosed in 1999, I was just devastated, but I knew something was wrong all my life!! I knew I was not like the other kids, I was mean and angry for no reason and I would hurt people, I hated myself too!! I would take it out on myself also for what I'd done to people!!I'm now on disability, I go to my Dr. and Counselor and I'm doing well, I keep a journal, it helps so very much, I just write whatever I want in there, whether it be something good or bad or a scream or a cuss word, that is what I write!! I started taking my meds at night, it has made a world of difference in my behavoir and my functioning!!! I can actually carry on a conversation!!!! You are not a shell of your former self either, you are that whole person you were, you just have to find her again!! I did not think I had any reasons to live either, but I looked around me one day and I saw my husband, my mom, my 2 step-sons,my very best friend,my 2 god sons, my aunt,my uncle,my cousins and the rest of my family and friends. I realized what a jackass I have been acting, and thought Jamie, you need to get it together because you are being stubborn, these people need you too!!! I wish you all the luck in the world and if you ever want to talk, e- mail me!! [e-mail]

Answer 3

Listen, you can't help it that you became bipolar. It's not your fault, it happens. You know that compassion you had for other people as an LPN? Well, now is the time to have some of it for yourself. And you are not alone in this kind of situation, I'm there, too. I used to be a mailman, but the symptoms forced me out of a job. I'm now trying at 46 to pick up the pieces and move on, but with no education what can I do either? You need to work on finding the right meds to be on. Buy a pill book and educate yourself as to what other meds are out there, cause there are a lot of options nowadays. I'm on three meds now, and have lost 120pounds that I gained while being on Zyprexa, and I TOLD the shrink to put me on something else at the time, or else I'd still be either 300pounds or dead. Go easy on yourself, and I see dignity in your struggle, not shame or weakness.

Answer 4

I understand how yo ufeel, i used to have very disabling panic
attacks all the time. I would like to tell you if you are open minded
enough to hear this.

EVERY SINGLE DISEASE HAS A CAUSE AND DRUGS WONT
FIX IT!

About 95% of all illnesses have something to do with something
you are either puting in your body or something you are
leaving out!

In my case i was doing BOTH:

My quality of food was bad and i wasnt getting proper nutriton.
I would suggest getting these things done seriously! Because
i RARELY if ever have a panic attack anymore.

1. Get a salivary hormone panel done ( i will give you recourses)
2. Treat any hormone imbalance you find with this test
with glandulars and glyconutrients ( i will give you recourses for this as well)
3. Stop consuming anything with additives,preservatives, trans fats,
and artifical ingredients or dyes. Everything must be made from
scratch and Organic. I AM SERIOUS!
4. Get yourself on some HIGH quality multi-vitamins and
minerals (see my recourses)
5. Get on Glyconutrients
6. Research on WEston A Price
7. Get your metal fillings ( if you have any) replaced
for plastic ones
8. NO tap water-drink filtered or bottled
9. Stay away from low fat diets , they do more harm than
good
10. Do a cleanse if you can.

After doing these things, correcting nutritional deficiencies
and hormonal problems and cutting all the crap and
eating organic most of my problems have dissapeared.
Please heed my advice i cant stand to see others suffer
as i have.

Answer 5

Read below and then decide if you could be happy with a man who is a drinker AND a 'womanizer'. A womaniser or womanizer is a man who uses women for their time, love and possible sex but has no intention of staying with her. It is essential someone who uses women. This would also indicate that they are in contact with multiple women at the same time and that they have no serious intentions towards any of these women. positions himself in the presence of woman who show an interest in his conversation, career, personality and physical appearance. A womanizer befriends a woman who they are physically attracted to, and desires to conquer emotionally as well as physically if possible. A clever womanizer, often uses his position(such as a single minister, doctor etc.) to assist him in appearing honest and being a 'great catch' Even before an encounter has transpired, his prey already believes that they themselves are special, just to be considered a possible approach. A womanizer manages to juggle many woman in the same state, city or abroad, by always letting each woman feel 'special'. He takes great honor in giving advice, asking for advise and telling each woman how much they help him. After each woman feels 'special for one reason or the other, they gladly thank 'him by satisfying what he says he desires and needs....His sexual ego. The clincher however is...Each womanizer honestly believes that it's ok to love so many, and he never commits more than a year TOPS to one woman. If the woman becomes too in love or hopeful, he finds a way to disappear. Most womanizers do not differentiate what is real or unreal..They are delusional in my opinion, living out a false fantasy.

Answer 6

my husband has bipolar. If this is effecting your life, you need to see a doctor and take medication. It can be managed. You also need a solid exercise routine. My husband was medicated in high school and college, but since then, he has only been using exercise as his therapy, and it keeps him balanced. You can pull your life back together, it will take some work, but you need to manage your condition and do what it takes to get back on your feet. This is NOT a death sentence, and it is NOT something to be embarassed about. it is an illness, it is NOT a sign of poor character. You just need the right medication, good exercise, a healthy diet and you will start to feel like yourself again.

Answer 7

Try another Doctor. When I move to a new area I call the local Pharmacies, tell the I'm new to the area and ask who prescribes meds(in your case for bipolar) and to give you 3 names of doctors who seem to know what they are doing.
Where are you. You shouldn't have his happening. Email me privately and I may be able to find someone for you.

Answer 8

No baby no no no. 8 years is not that bad. Please don't give up on life and get depressed. You are so not useless. My mom was diagnosed with bipolar as well and yes you can regain yourself. Please just don't give up on life, I know you feel so down but you can get through it and it'll get better. I will take your name down and pray for you too. Explain to your kids how you feel and what your going through. I know your probably ashamed or something because people that don't understand this or know about this will be mean and probably critical but guess what. F them. Me and my mom will pray you through this and its not over for you. Embrace the madness. God bless you honey and more people suffer from bipolar than we all know and even they know themselves. God bless!!!

Answer 9

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder this time last year.

I spent 30 days in jail. I am on probation.

My career as an engineer is shot.

My wife and son live separately from me "for their protection" according to the court.

Lithium has saved my life and kept me alive.

As long as I remain standing on my two feet, I have my self confidence and self respect. I feel free to reinvent myself as someone who knows that he lives with this brain disorder day in and day out. My disease hasn't conquered me; I live with my disease in check and I know whom to turn to in case the symptoms reappear.

Answer 10

I suggest you try meditation. It has no bad side effects and can calm your mind. You might also want to look at some calming biofeedback devices. One I use and like is Resperate (www.resperate.com). It really calms you, and it takes some concentration to follow, so it gets your mind off of crazy thoughts.

Try to be physically active too. Exercise is good.