Me and my brother have never seen eye to eye but I put that down to typical sibling stuff. Siblings fight Its the way it is. The past year has changed dramatically though.
I love my brother so much but I'm really starting to hate him.
Hes begun really laying into me recently he calls me names I used to get bullied with in school Which he knows I'm sensitive about and I get really upset, He calls me a slag and a **** and says that I'm fat when im a size 10. He hits me hard and insults me and swears at me all the time. Its got to the point where we can't have a laugh an joke anymore as he can't take a joke. I'm beginning to give up on him I feel sorry for mum coz shes in the middle. When I'm not home hes a lovely kid him and mum really get on but as soon as I get in he changes he becomes this horrible person. I cried really bad the other night coz im fed up with it I don't want to know him anymore. I can't talk to mum coz she always sides with him I just don't no what to do???
2006-08-23 09:49:55 · 32 answers · asked by Ste444 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
how old are youand him? cos it just might be an age thing that he is going through..maybe ppl are pickin on him at school abut you..but you should tell your mom about it..or a counceller if you have one at school.
2006-08-23 09:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by whistleblower 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is sibling abuse. Just because its within the family doesnt mean to say that you must let it happen.
You say your mum's in the middle of all of this but thats what mum would do if it was over the last of the cornflakes or what to watch on the telly, this is more serious. Your mum has got the responsiblity as a parent to ensure your wellbeing. Oh and bye the way dont worry about upsetting you mum, shes older and than you and will be able to handle you sticking up for yourself.
Is your dad around? If so maybe he can mediate if not you need to let someone both with authority and your trust know whats going on. You got to do something now for the sake of your future. You don't say what age you are but if you put up with this abuse now it could haunt you in later life.
In writing this though youve took the first step and shown a lot of grit even putting this down in print.
Keep up the good work.
2006-08-23 11:36:40 · answer #2 · answered by galenvanbrok 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that there isn't an easy answer for you here as families are very tricky and often very complex things. Rather than using a site like yahoo i would really suggest you should find an adult you can trust and ask them to help you, maybe not a family member as they will find it too hard (you could talk to a youth worker, a school councellor, a teacher, a sports coach, basically someone you trust and respect). You need someone to support you to think about what is actually happening, what you want to change and how it can be achieved. It may be that family councelling is the answer or maybe your mum needs to get help to work this out. Don't leave it too long though, it'd be awful to lose your brother forever as he may one day turn out to be a valuable friend. Good luck.
2006-08-23 09:54:40 · answer #3 · answered by seaside_girl_03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to be really strong about what you're saying and actually tell both him and your mum that you really have had enough of his behaviour and even if they think to begin with that you're just saying it for the sake of it then make sure that you actually wan to sort things out. For a start he should'nt be hitting you let alone being nasty so I think you really have to establish some things that you won't accept. Try talking to your mum again on her own and let her know that you are serious and your brother is pushing the limits to far. I don't know your anymore obviously about your situation but could you had you thought about living somewhere else, maybe you would be happier living on your own or with friends although I don't know how old you are!! You should'nt be abused in your own home and your mum should definitly support you in this case and not stand in the middle-I'm sure its hard but sometimes parents have to take sides and if she can understand it from your point of view then your brother will hopefully take notice from her.....Try and sort things out!!
Good Luck
2006-08-23 14:04:36 · answer #4 · answered by Seriously Though 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard to know!
May its some sort of angry transfer issue, has anything unusually happen to him or the your in family in the last year?
Or more likely attention seeking behaviour.
You say he gets on with his mum until you arrive on scene.
Do you think that both you and he complete for your mum’s attention?
Or with you growing up perhaps you are behaving more like a parent/grownup to him, than a sibling, and his responds
is to try and reduce you back to a child you push emotions buttons, - by name calling and dominating type behaviour.
Or if he is in this early teenager he is got so much hormones flying through this system hardy stable!
Its all tough on you but if your the older sibling your going have out think the situation. - more info please.
2006-08-23 10:31:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are old enough I would suggest you moving out and getting your own place. But, if that isn't an option then tell your mom you want to get into family counseling. Another thing you can do is write your brother a letter and tell him that you love him, but that you just can't handle how he treats you anymore. Let him know that you will be civil to him, but that if he can't do the same you would rather the both of you just not speak to eachother. On top of that, get a lock on your door and try to spend as much time as you can away from him to show him you are serious about what you wrote.
2006-08-23 09:58:10 · answer #6 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are alot of different things u can do. Write down everything to let steam off.Sit down with your mom and brother and tell them both what u just told us. Find someone that u can trust that knows your family and get them involed.If there is a father there then talk to him. You might want to also stop argueing with your brother and act like he's not there.I know it's a hard thing to do but sometimes brothers do what they do to u cuz they know it will upset u. So act like nothin he says matters.Just act like he's not there.Good luck honey.
2006-08-23 10:09:36 · answer #7 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really bad situation, and your mum should know better. Go to the police as he is hitting you, or you can call the domestic abuse hotline on 0808 2000 247. How do you know your Mum isnt being abused as well, and is terrified of what will happen to her if she takes your side? You need to get out immediately. There are people who will be on your side and help you. You cannot do this by yourself, please, make yourself safe.
Here's a big hug X
2006-08-23 10:08:13 · answer #8 · answered by Thia 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this is typical sibling rivalry...how old are you two again? age has alot to do with it...on the other hand someone has to be the bigger person and not let little things get to you...focus your attention on other serious things going on in the world or something...all the fighting and bickering will eventually stop one day, hopefully sooner than later...there's really not much anyone can say to you to make the whole situation better...your best bet is to talk to your parents about your situation and where you stand with all this and find something to do to vent out all your frustration...sorry...
2006-08-23 10:37:31 · answer #9 · answered by sweet_latina830 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You really don't have to put up with this. Its not ok for your Mum to refuse to deal with it. Your brother can at the very least keep his mouth shut and his fists to himself. He is welcome to think whatever he likes, but he can keep it to himself.
If you don't get support from home get it from somewhere else. Is there anyone else who had any authority with your brother? His attitude towards you has changes, maybe they can find out why.
You must start by telling your Mum, say you can't deal with it any more and need help. Say you are not prepared to put up with being used as his punchbag.
Also get help from somewhere else, and keep asking.
Good luck.
2006-08-23 10:01:15 · answer #10 · answered by sarah c 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even though you feel like your mom is always on your brother's side, you need to find a time when he's not around and sit down and talk to your mom.
Tell her how you feel. She's probably the only one who will be able to knock him back in line.
2006-08-23 09:55:56 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋