my 6 years old son is to hard to cope with?

Question

he kick and screams , and everything that comes out of him mouth is in winging tone , he does not do as his told ,when i try to disaplin he still goes on and on no matter what i do , i have to give in to him to stop me from hitting him hard , i am at my wits end , what can i do, he hasnt got any friends because of the way he is either , he,s not just like this with me he is like it with everyone , it may sound like an awful thing to say but i really wish i hadnt giving berth to him , he rules my life , i know your all going to say that he is picking up on this and its my fault and yes iv thought about n iv tried to change but i cant he still makes me want to kill him , i just cant go on no more like this please help .

Answer 1

why dont you aproach him on another way. say that you will buy him an ice cream or something if he stop kicking his friends. but one thing at the time. for exaple dont alow him to eat ice cream,. dont buy chocolate and always make him remember that you have forgotten to buy. do this for a week or two and make him desire that chocolate so badly. buy if he wants to eat it he would have to tread. one good thing first. then try the same thing after he sees that for every good thing he do he will be happier. try to thing as he thing. and take some callming pills. you can kill him he is your kid. and dont order him. kinds hate orders. just tell him for exaple: ok if you dont wanna go to bed we all are and you can stay here in the living room in the dark by your self. accept his wishes. when he will scream you ceep quiet but when a cartoon or something he watches come on tv you do the same thing. if he tell you not to do it you can say: you cant stop me i didnt stopped you so we are equal or something. try to win him in his own game. if that doesent work try physiatrist or something...why dont you write me at my email [e-mail] to tell me what happened i am looking forvard to see did i helped. good luck ! ! best wishes merry !

Answer 2

At six years old he is getting a little advanced in age for the kicking and screaming act.

Try the suggestions below:

Wait until he is calm, explain that you love him are here to keep him safe and to show him the right way to behave so he can grow up to be a good man.

Explain that people like adults and children to behave nicely so everyone has a chance to speak, listen learn and have fun.

Tell him that the way he behaves makes you very sad. Tell him you love him and want both of you to feel happy together.

Tell him that you are sorry for being angry with him but you have been feeling upset because the way he behaves makes you so sad.

Tell him that you will give him a happy face on a chart everytime he makes you happy and when he does make sure you smile and look really happy.

When he screams and demands don't give him anger back, just tell him he is making you sad and walk away. If he clings to you gently remove him without anger and walk away again, repeating that he is making you sad. If he continues to persue you you will have to walk into a place that he cannot get into and jam or lock the door. Tell him he is making you sad and you don't want to see him.

He will keep the screaming up for a time, don't give in because if you give in you are showing him that you can be treated anyway he likes. Stay away from him when he screams. when he is good smile tell him you love him and give him a smiley face on the chart you could call it e.g mummy and******'s happy chart or something positive. If he gets enough smiley faces-you decide how many and stick to it ruthlessly then he gets a reward, but the reward of a happy mummy can work wonders

Answer 3

Okay time to be the Mom. When he is whining ignore him. Put him in his room and close the door tell him he may come out when he is ready to quit whining. I guess the first thing to do is make sure his room only contains his bed and dresser no toys no TV . When he comes out and is calm talk to him and tell him that his behavior is going to be treated the same way every time he behaves this way. And here is the hard part DO IT! Putting him in his room will keep him away from you. He will most likely kick and scream and do everything in his power to get out of his room before he is calm do not let him. You have let him win all the battles so far and it is time for you to take control. The next thing you must do is get him evaluated for ADHD. If he has this he will be out of control a lot more. So test him, treat him, and discipline him. Remember you are the grown-up.

Answer 4

BE CONSISTENT! Do not let him run your life...you are the parent and he is the child! Have you thought about maybe counseling? When he starts to kick and scream...put him in a safe room and close the door until he is done and then ask him "do you want to behave now?" and then make him apologize for his actions. If he doesnt put him back into the room and take away all the fun stuff in the room. Yes he is picking up that he is getting to you but I understand you cant help it. Dont get to hard on yourself! The only thing I could reccomend is counseling. I know it must be hard controlling your anger on him but remember that he loves you!

Answer 5

I hope he has been tested for ADHD by now. If not, take him to the doctor. They have made significant improvements in meds for children over the last few years. I know some people will tell you that medicating your kids is a bad thing, but that has to be your decision. If its pills or your sanity, which would you choose? You may also want to take him to see a counselor. Professional help would be the best thing right now because it sounds like you have tried very hard to no avail. Good luck I feel for you. It must be hard to love him so much and hate him at the same time.

Answer 6

You are not a bad person or a bad mother.
Get an appointment at the doctors asap, they can check him for things like a,h,a,d
Cut out colourings and additives from his diet for a week and see if that helps, gluten also can effect behaviour in children but you doctor will be able to advise you better on this.
Can you get anyone to help you even if it is for a few hours a days, the more recharged and positive you are the better you will be able to cope with your son.
Since working with children with behavioural problems i have found time out and completely ignoring them amazing at stopping screaming fits. If you can lock him in a safe room until he calms down do it, if you can not do this just walk away from him and do not ever give in. Pay him loads of attention when he is good and none when he is not doing what you want.

Answer 7

ok, right at this moment neither of you are happy. This is not an easy situation to remedy and you won't see results overnight but I promise it will get easier if you stick to this.
Sit down with him and explain that you need to talk...Tell him that neither of you are happy at the moment and that you want to make life better (don't point any blame here)....From the very first day take him out and do things together...ask his opinion on things...when you go shopping give him a list of things to put in the trolley...give him lots of praise.
Have a routine...bedtime, meal times together...
He is only 6 years old so go easy on him....I know how you feel as I have a 3 year old much the same but by providing entertainment, distractions and love he is a different child.
Make sure you read a bedtime story..anything so he feels loved and secure and isn't left to do naughty things as a cry for attention.
Make sure you find time for yourself too as this will make you calmer...go for a quiet bath in the eve and get someone to babysit once a fortnight etc...I wish you the very best of luck xx

Answer 8

It's gonna be hard work to reverse the situation, but here's some ideas you can try.
When he starts acting up, tell him in a firm voice to stop, that this is his warning. If he still acts up, drop what you're doing and put him in time-out for about 6 minutes. You should pick a spot or a room that's "boring" for a kid such as the guest bedroom or something. Make sure it has no TV, books, or any of his toys in there. If he tries to come out before the 6 minutes is up, don't say anything to him, just get him back in there and tell him he can come out when the 6 minutes are up. It may take a few tries (don't get discouraged, eventually he WILL get tired of being put back in there). After he finally finishes the 6 minutes, go in there with him and squat down to his level so you're not towering over him and ask him to tell you why you put him in time out and tell him you want an apology.
If he's the type of kid that also acts up when you go shopping and you have no choice but to take him with you, let him know ahead of time that if he behaves, you'll get him a little something (like an ice cream cone, or a small toy, something like that that you know he really likes). Make sure you follow through when he does behave. If he messes up while out, give him a warning. If he acts up once more, tell him no ice cream or whatever his reward is, and don't change your mind about it.
Also, another problem could be that you're not spending enough time with him. Take at least an hour or two where you both have uninterrupted time together. That means don't take any phone calls or anything during that time. Maybe the two of you could draw or play a couple board games together, you could take him to the park, play catch with him, etc. You could also help with his homework. His kicking and screaming is because he's asking for the attention that he hasn't been getting. Also, do you have any younger kids? It could be that he's jealous of the younger sibling. If it's a baby, let your 6yr old help out with things. You could set the baby in his lap and let him feed it, or he can help out with diaper changes like bringing you some stuff you need. If the younger one is older than the baby stage, make sure you try to spend at least equal time with both kids.
Plus, you might want to take him places where there's other kids his age so he can better his people skills. In addition, he'll be able to see how other kids are behaving and may try to act more like them. Don't ever compare him with other kids though like saying "Why can't you be more like that kid over there?"...stuff like that. It'll only make him feel like he'll never be good and it'll make him even more rebellious. In a way both of you are playing a tug-of-war. You both are wanting this and that out of each other, so the key is to listen to each other and try to be able to give what he needs. He's got to learn that you're the parent and that what you do and tell him is what's best for him. Starting out will be hard for both of you, but if you keep at it, you should get complete results within a week or so.
If I can think of anything else that I missed, I'll add more to this later. And if you need anymore info, feel free to e-mail me. =)
Hope things work out for you.

Answer 9

It could be his diet - i'm not criticising you, but if his diet is full of sugar and additives, that may be the problem. My cousins kids were nothing short of little monsters, when they couldn't get their own way, all hell would literally break loose they would throw things, they even broke the TV - and then she stopped giving them pop with colouring in it, and no sweeties, and they became like different kids, so my advice is take him to the doctors and tell him/her you are at your wits end will snap if something isn't done, and try the no pop and sweeties, not just as a punishment, but try giving him watered down juice instead and fruit - i'm sure you'll see a difference

Answer 10

Wow. Kids aren't stupid. I DO think he is reacting to how you have treated him and been with him. My son is also 6 and I adore him. He is well mannered and behaved, does well in school, his Martial arts and has lots of friends. However, he has been told every day of his life that he is loved and so very wanted. Kids learn what they live. If you have always treated him as an inconvenience, how else do you think he is going to react? Take him to a friend or relative and seek some help first for yourself and then him. You are obviously uneducated,(notice I did not say stupid, there IS a difference), so get an education, get some counseling, get some help before you ruin this child forever.

Answer 11

You guys should get into some family counseling. Talk to his pediatrician about the problems and the doctor should be able to recommend a counselor. Obviously something isn't right here, most kids don't act like you're describing. You can't deal with this on your own, and there is help available, so go get some. Being a mom is hard, try not to beat up on yourself. Good luck