In case you don't know, courtship is the thing where you don't date until you feel you're ready to marry and, even then, you don't exactly date. Ther person you feel you would marry, if there is one, comes over and spends "quality time with the family." To me, this is NOT the best way to go, but to my parents, it is.
2006-08-23 09:41:16 · 11 answers · asked by Kali S. Loves Not You 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, it's not in my ethnic group, and yes, there is currently somebody I want to date. And he totally has been trying to ask me out! It'll be so embarassing if I have to tell him no, because my family is all into courtship! I can't wait that long! They used to say I could date when I'm 16, but now I have to wait until I'm ready to be married!
2006-08-23 09:46:46 · update #1
One of the reasons I don't agree with it is because a guy will rarely ever show his real personality with your parents! And I want to, you know, get to know more guys.
2006-08-23 09:49:12 · update #2
Yes, I am in America. I was born and raised here, but my family history goes back to Germany and Russia. We don't really know much about my mom's side. Really, I don't know what ethnic group I'm from. I'm pretty much German, English, Irish, French, Dutch, American, Ukrainian, Russian, and Canadian. A lot, I know.
2006-08-23 09:50:33 · update #3
Is this the custom in your ethnic group?
Is there currently some boy you want to date?
2006-08-23 09:43:18 · answer #1 · answered by WendyD1999 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They think that they're doing you a favor by preventing you from being involved the whole dating scene. You don't fall in love, break up, feel pain. There's something to be said for that -- the argument would go, "when you're young, what's the point of falling in love? It can't lead to anything; it's just a lot of pain and confusion for no reason."
The alternate argument, the one that you might think about presenting to them, is that it's only by "falling in love" that you find out that what you felt wasn't love at all. It was just teenagers being teenagers. If you don't learn to recognize that for what it is, the whole "courtship" thing can really mess you up later. Dating is a lousy system, and it can do terrible things to your self-image, but it also teaches you important things about yourself.
"Courtship" is a system from a time when women were a resource (like livestock). Some people love the idea of it, but if you're not one of those people, it can feel incredibly confining.
If your parents really are set on the whole courting thing, offer a compromise; go out with groups of friends. It's what I did when I was younger. . . instead of dating, we'd just a whole bunch of us go out. Everyone knew who everyone else liked, but we also all knew it wasn't that serious. We had a lot of fun back then.
2006-08-23 16:57:51 · answer #2 · answered by Drew 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of my good friends is Indian and 36 years old and his parents still "make" him do it when he goes home - from America - to visit. Are you in America? What will they do if you do not agree? I would hate to give advice and have it cause bad consequences for you. It will depend upon your relationship with your family. But, I would fight the idea tooth and nail.
2006-08-23 16:45:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait until I could get a job and make a good living...then I would move as far away as possible. Then when I visit on Christimas and T-Day I would tell them I am not doing it. How old are you 14?
2006-08-23 16:44:06 · answer #4 · answered by want it bad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very rarely have I seen successful relationships come from such a system. Explain to your parents that you are not comfortable with such a situation. Tell them that you respect their opinion and if you really are attracted enough to a guy, you'll introduce them. If they are good parents they should understand. If not, remember that it is your life too and you can decide who you love and what kind of relationship you have. Good luck!
2006-08-23 16:46:44 · answer #5 · answered by Karina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you're 18 or older, i don't see why you have to convince them of anything because you're old enough to tell them no on the whole courtship thing.
2006-08-23 16:43:46 · answer #6 · answered by vam_pire_lover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are u any specific religion? If so and u live under ur parents roof then i say get out when ur 18yrs old and do as u plz.......!!!
2006-08-23 16:45:00 · answer #7 · answered by machele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move from India.
2006-08-23 16:43:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out and go to college.
2006-08-23 16:44:58 · answer #9 · answered by Who me? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say no
2006-08-23 16:45:46 · answer #10 · answered by StudleyDoRite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋