I confided in a girl (who I thought was my friend) and told her some VERY personal things--things that would be hurtful if the word got around. (ex. rape victim, molested as a child, victim of domestic violence, etc.) She told the guy that I am interested in and he mentioned it to me. I think she likes him, but I asked her if she did BEFORE I started dating him. I know I will never speak to her again but should I be angry with him for nonchalantly bringing up something that causes mental pain? How should I handle this delicate issue?
2006-08-23 09:38:35 · 4 answers · asked by Ree 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I can totally relate with you. I too am a victim of the same things you listed and more. I am DEEPLY SORRY that you had to endure such things. But to answer your question.... I don't think you should get mad at him for asking you about it. Reason #1 being that he was probably just concerned. He heard awful things that happened to you and he probably cares about you enough to want to make sure you are ok. Reason #2 is he may not have been aware how sensitive these issues are for you. Im sure he knew it was a touchy subject buy maybe he didn't know just how touchy. (guys can be a little dense when it comes to things like this) So relax a little bit, him bringing it up may be a sign of how much he cares for you.
But if he brought it up to throw it in your face or make jokes out of it then you definately don't need someone like that in your life. If that is the case (wich i hope it isn't) then him and your terrible friend are made for eachother. As for your "friend" definately kick her to the curb! You never know, it may turn out to be a good thing that he now knows because if it does turn into a serious relationship then you won't feel like you are keeping anything from him and if he is senstitve enough he may be able to help you work through your emotions about this.
Good luck sweetie and take care of yourself. BIG HUGS!!! :)
2006-08-23 10:20:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of similar **** has happened to me.I have stopped telling people A LONG TIME AGO about it. ...it doesn't help to confide in people really, especially young girls, which I'm guessing you and your friend are.Don't say anything, just let it be, unless he brings it up and then you could probably tell him the truth and he would understand , most likely.It's not your fault. Any decent human being would know that and anyways if he cared enough to ask that probably is a good sign:)
2006-08-23 16:45:47 · answer #2 · answered by Christina S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not be too quick to judge the guy. he was put in a very awkward position and no matter what he did or did not say and no matter how he said or did'nt say it still would be offensive to you. I would try to play it cool.I can't say I know how you feel. I have been a victim of only one of the three things you mentioned and I know that it is a very personal issue to me.
2006-08-23 16:48:08 · answer #3 · answered by truthseekeer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you be angry with him, he is just a victim of circumstance.
2006-08-23 16:41:59 · answer #4 · answered by imnotbtami 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋