My boyfriend of eleven months now has been just wonderful. He hasn't been in a relationship in about 13 years. The problem is that he has women prior to me that are still calling his phone. Also he is still calling a couple himself. I confronted him about this over the weekend. He claims that there is nothing to worry about. I asked him if he wanted to remain in this relationship, he said yes. When he asked me the question I didn't say anything. he knows that I'm pissed at him. What can I say that will scare the **** out of him without going overboard.
2006-08-23 08:46:47 · 23 answers · asked by Abby 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dear Abby, You do not have his complete attention. If other girls are calling him its because he has encouraged it. If he didn't want them to call, he could tell them in such a way as to keep them from calling. And if he is calling a couple of them, it could be that he has just a friendly relationship with them, but if you have said don't call them and stop taking their calls, and he not only refuses, but fails to give you a good reason why he should speak to them, then you have a decision to make. You either stay and put up with it, or take a hike.
2006-08-23 08:54:05 · answer #1 · answered by loufedalis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if it doesn't stop, that the relationship with you will. If he doesn't listen to that, get some boxes and start packing your stuff up. If he asks what you are doing, tell him, "Well, those other girls seem to be more important than me, so I'm going to leave so you can have them all." If he tells you to stay, give him the altimadum of not talking to these women or you will leave him.
This idea is kinda mean: Change his phone number without telling him. That way he can give out his number to all these chicks, yet they won't be able to get a hold of him. Or when they call and you answer the phone, you could say this, "He has thought his over and has come to the conclusion that he doesn't want to talk to you anymore. He realizes that this may upset you but recieving calls from you, and talking to you in general, is hurting his current relationship and this relatonship is very important to him. He appologizes for any hurt feelings, but he says that this is the way it has to be. Good bye."
If you tell him you are pregnant, he night leave you for that reason (depends on the guy).
Good luck!
2006-08-23 16:02:50 · answer #2 · answered by Elizabeth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you aren't interested in being in a relationship with a guy who still maintains relationships with his exes. Make it impersonal and matter of fact. You aren't saying anything against him, just making a statement for the record that you will not stay with a guy who does it.
He will get what you mean. But he may still not care and he may decide he'd rather break up with you. In which case you are better off breaking up with him than staying with him. Empty threats should never be made. Only tell him you will leave him if you really will.
2006-08-23 15:52:23 · answer #3 · answered by Magina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a reason he is still talking to his old flames. Either he quits or you leave. Oh, and tell him you can't trust him so you want to see his email and phone call records.
Either that, or leave because his eyes are still looking back instead of forward with you....
2006-08-23 15:51:57 · answer #4 · answered by ALexandra F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Straight up, if you don't trust his word that there is nothing going on, then you need to leave. Men are entitled to have a life outside of a relationship. It is healthy for him to have friends of the oppostie sex outside of you.
Maybe you should ask to meet these friends. After meeting them, it should ease your mind. If doesn't want you to meet them, then you have something to worry about.
2006-08-23 15:51:27 · answer #5 · answered by chanel h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate game playing,idle threats are soon caught on too.so whatever you say if you dont follow through on it ,its worthless. You ahve already let him know how much it bothers you so if he insists on continuing,youll ethier learn to live with it or let him go.You say he hasnt had arelationship for 13 years so who are these women anyway? casual one night stands, friends? Kinda confusing.
2006-08-23 15:56:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not stop calling them girls. it over between us for good. I mean it o right I am not playing with. you better stop answering the phone when them girls call you. I am so out of here OK.if you keep on talking to those girls it over for good between us.
2006-08-23 15:55:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a guy friend to call and leave YOU a message on your machine...make him think he may have a little competition
2006-08-23 15:49:52 · answer #8 · answered by Kayt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm how about
that you really don't appreciatte it that they call him still and that he calls them.. that it hurts you and if you find out anything between them that is more than friends or anything like that that you will leave and you won't come back
i really don't no what else but that is what i would say
2006-08-23 15:54:56 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. Mystery 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just start by saying that you met this really nice older guy that really likes you. And play it out.
2006-08-23 15:50:35 · answer #10 · answered by John M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋