I have not seen him in a week since he gave me this ultimatum. I know that I don't want to give up who I am, but all I do is think about him. If I give up my religion for a man, I obviously have a weak character. (I just left a marriage where I was expected to change who I was.) Why is he so stuck in my thoughts? I only want clean, acceptable answers. Any vulgarity or debasing comments will be reported.
2006-08-23 07:04:37 · 29 answers · asked by TotallylovesTodd! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It takes time to change behavioral patterns. Try doing some journaling to explore your feelings about your attraction to these types of men. The more self-knowledge you accrue about yourself, the more you will be able to resist these controlling men, until the day comes when you'll feel little or no pull at all. Good luck.
2006-08-23 07:20:42 · answer #1 · answered by Chatelaine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he really wanted to be with you then he would not ask you to do that. If your religion is a part of you like you say then it is not you that he wants. He wants to control you. That is not good. As far thinking about him a lot, it sounds like he is like your ex. It is hard to wait for the right person to come along. It is easier to take what ever comes our way. Don't give up who you are for anyone or anything. I am not religion a lot but I have faith and that is something that I will never give up cause in the end that is what has always been there. When you love someone you don't try to change them to fit you.
2006-08-23 14:15:26 · answer #2 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all girl, no one should be giving anyone ultimatum. Second of all if he's your friend first, he know about your religion before he wanted to take it to the next step and to think you would give your religion up was stupid of him. The next thing he'll ask for you to give up is seeing your family, your job next and then your freedom to whatever, whenever and whoever you desire' to see as a FRIEND. If you've been a similiar situation then why even write about, you should have told him"NO, I'm not and don't let the door hit you where the good LORD split you on your way out". I'm not trying to be evil about this, as you I was in a controlling marriage and it took me 3 yrs. of counseling to get where I'm at now. Best wishes to you and good look girlfriend!
2006-08-23 14:11:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most religions come with a certian set of expectations: Christians generally go to Church more Sunday mornings than not, for example. If there is some aspect of those expectations that are incompatible with his lifestyle (for example, he refuses to wake up before noon on Sunday) then he is better off not being with someone who is in that religion. It will separate him and such a person from the get-go.
If you're religion isn't compatible with his lifestyle, you're better off choosing. If you choose him, know that your religion is gone. If you choose your religion, know that he is gone.
2006-08-23 14:10:01 · answer #4 · answered by Sean J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DONT DO IT!!....you know your religion...does it condone this? If not then dont do it, your spirituality is a lot more important than this guys lust!! If and when a guy genuinely cares for you he wont be asking you to change...he will love you for who you are and surely there wont be any ultimatums being thrown at you!!
I think you already nkow that this person does not mean good for you.
2006-08-23 14:09:37 · answer #5 · answered by tpoke24 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dont give up your religion for anyone as this will only harbor problems in your future, with or without this person. Find someone of your religion. This will be a start for you. Good Luck!
2006-08-23 14:12:40 · answer #6 · answered by Zakos the greek 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are who you are and you should never give anything like religion. Maybe alcohol or drugs if it makes you a better person. Never give up the things that make you the better person. If he can't understand that than kick him to the curb. The Love Doc
2006-08-23 14:10:40 · answer #7 · answered by luckyman 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
from your question i get it that you are also a mom?if so then IF you change your religion and IF you get married to this man ,then WOULD HE FORCE YOUR CHILD TO ALSO CHANGE HIS RELIGION?religion in my openion is a person's very very personal beliefs. if that person wants to change your belief just for him then, i am sorry to say, he doesnot love you at all. you didnot tell him to change his religion, you accepted his the way he is. then why cant he accept you? this is a very controlling, dominant person and in my openion you and your child should stay at least 100 miles away from him. if now he decides what your religion will be, then after sometime , he will determine your life ,your child's life.you escaped from a control freak from your earlier marriage, escape from this HITLER right away.
2006-08-23 15:08:52 · answer #8 · answered by atahsina 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if u are strong in your faith then you should keep it, i am sure you will find a guy who has the same religion esecially if he is Christian as all of those are very similar! Give him an ultimatium that if he truly loves you he will accept who u are no matter what and if he can't then.. see ya!!
2006-08-23 16:47:38 · answer #9 · answered by stewiegrif27 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not have to change who you are for anybody. If this man cared about you, he would never ask you to change anything about youraself. There is no man that is worth losing who you are for. You can find someone that will love you and not try to change you...
2006-08-23 14:08:07 · answer #10 · answered by Just Me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋