my 3 yr old doesnt listen and constantly acts up?

Question

we cant go out in public because he with throw a tantrum if he wants something, when hes told its time to et he totaly disregards what anyone has told him and expects me to feed him! he is very repetative with the word "mom & mommy" sometimes i want to cry it really drives me nutty when he doesnt listen i really need help with this or i feel i mihgt end up going insane???? if anyone has anything that can help please let me know...

Answer 1

As KC would say

Spank, spank, spank, da dada da
spank, spank, spank, da dada da
Spank that baby, spank that baby

Answer 2

You have to set rules.
Define punishments when the rules are not followed.
The rules should be meaningful to the child but also should match the importance of the broken rule.
When a rule is broken there should be NO discussion of 'well it's ok this time'. It has to be black or white, break a rule, get the punishment.
Punishments will need to increase if the behavior doesn't change.
But do not, do not, do not let them off the hook.
Your child will push you and push you if there is no teeth behind your warnings. And it only gets worse if you give in and let them off the hook. Then the behavior they have learned is that if they make mommies life miserable they can get out of punishment.

But again the punishment must fit the crime. Don't fly off the handle for simple things. Don't yell, don't screem, just take away an hour of game time or tv time.

If they yell... get quiet... they will have to get quiet to hear what you are saying. If they don't get quiet start taking away toys until they do.

Find what pushes your childs buttons. My son hated when I counted to 3. I could get him to stop doing anything by telling him he had until I got to 3 and then start 1... I'm waiting 2... are you done yet 3... some punishment arives. (I only got to 3 once)
On the same note, another thing that worked for me... the age old practice of lecturing. I did not want to hit my child, so in stead I would sit him down and explain in extreme detail why what he did was wrong, why he shouldn't do it and anything else I could think of at the time. It pushed his buttons and he now thinks about his actions before doing almost anything because he doesn't want to sit through another one of dad's lectures...

Best of Luck

Answer 3

Well, yes, I think it has something to do with the way you handle him. As far as in public, (my opinion is) it's something he has learned at home and discovered it works quite well in public to throw his fits. While people around you may not like listening to him while in his rage, perhaps the best thing to do is show him that he does NOT get his way WITHOUT resorting to yelling or threatening.

Good behavior is expected, and should not be rewarded. However, BAD behavior is punishable by loosing a privelage or a toy or something that really hits home. While some will say NEVER HIT HIM, I find there may be rare occasions when a whack on the bumm may be needed. And remember, if it comes to that then go ahead and whack him. If it's a lesson he needs to learn, don't waste your time by patting him on the behind. Make it something worth remembering. But by all means, never BEAT him. If you are angry, send him to his room. When YOU cool down, then administer whatever needed punishment fits the crime. Don't be excessive. Please.

As far as all the other things, "YO! BE THE PARENT!" You are the adult, the authority, the judge. WHAT YOU SAY GOES! Always say what you mean and never fail to back up any promises. As soon as he learns you can be manipulated, you're his yo-yo. And he'll pull your string as often as he can.

But NEVER FAIL TO SHOW HIM THE LOVE HE NEEDS AND DESERVES. By making home stable and predictable he will be able to be happy and grow up with good morals. Remember, a child let on the loose will be causing his mother shame.

Good Luck Mom.

Answer 4

Your son continues to act the way he does because he is getting something from behaving that way. Consistency is going to be key in changing his behavior. For example, during a meal time regardless of where you are, if you want him to sit and eat with you, than you must firmly tell him what is expected of him ("Son, it is time to eat. Please come to the table now") Do not accept refusal. If it is at home, you can gently but firmly keep him in his chair. If you are at a restaurant or friend's home, you may need to make the decision to remove him and go home. In the car and after arriving home, make his life as boring as possible, no TV, no toys, little contact with him. Many children have very strong wills. If you give in even once to a temper tantrum, that will make him that more determined to throw longer and larger tantrums next time. It will be very difficult and life will be hard, but you can modify his behavior. But, life will be even MORE difficult if this behavior continues. Begin by not ever giving in, not even once, to a temper tantrum or demands. If you give in once, it will start the cycle all over again. Let your son have some control over certain decisions in his life. "Would you like to wear the red shirt or the blue one today?" "Should we read Goodnight Moon or The Little Engine That Could for nap time today?" He is a child that needs your CONSISTENT and loving guidance. If you let him rule the roost, he will. Stop telling him things to do with a question attached to it. For example, do NOT say, "It's time to eat, honey, OK?" As soon as you ask the OK part, that makes it wide open for discussion. Decide what is not open for discussion and follow through. Get your spouse and all the other adults in your son's life on the same page so he has consistency in his life. Your son wants and needs you to take control back. Be confident in your parenting skills even if you don't feel very confident. All parents make mistakes, but kids are resiliant and can come through it better than we can most of the time. Be prepared for a very angry boy and for things to get much worse before they get better. But, I guarantee they will if you stay loving and gentle yet firm and consistent.

Answer 5

I have a son who is almost three. They like to push and push to see if they can get what they want. However you have to set rules and boundries and stick to them, no matter what. If you say no then dont give in after he cries for 20 mins. If you do you just taught him that if he cries long enough he will get what he wants. You also have to be willing to stop what you are doing and even leave at any given point if the situation begins to get out of control. Like if hes throwing a fit at the grocery store and you cant get him to stop. Put everything down and leave. Go home and try to explain that you had to leave because he was acting up. Good Luck and try to be patient.

Answer 6

First of all it's all about being consistent. You can't give in to him because that only shows him that misbehaving gets him what he wants and he will continue with the bad behavior. He is 3 and old enough to understand that bad behavior comes with consequences. Try taking away his favorite toys or not letting him do his favorite activities next time he misbehaves. He will continue not doing what he's told if you don't let him know right now that you are the parent and that you will not tolerate it. Good luck

Answer 7

at 3 he is still a little guy, however,nipping his behavior in the butt now will prevent and obnoxious teenager! I heard of this woman who did this and I thought it was brilliant! Don't know if I could have done it, or if you can, but just picture this: Lady goes into walmart, her kid around 3ish starts throwing a tantrum, the lady plops herself on the floor and pretends to act just like the child...the child immediately stopped the fit! Perhaps showing him what that looks like could get him to stop, try it at home and see...they don't understand a whole lot at that age, but they understand a lot more than what we give them credit for....put his food down, hard to do mom, and either he eats himself or he goes hungry for a few hours. That is not child abuse, nor will one day harm him. How would you handle it if it wasn't your child? You are being minipulated by a 3 yr old. We don't want them to not love us so we let them do...which is driving you crazy....nip it in the butt now. (take him to grandma for the day too and take a break if you can!!)

Answer 8

Let him cry and throw a tantrum, once he realizes your not coming to his service, he will stop, but be patient.Force him to eat. Tell him when he is done, he can get down. Let him sit there all night if that is what it takes. Don't sit with him though, because then he knows that you are controlled by his actions/tantrums. Explain to him before dinner the next night, that as soon as he eats, he can get down and play. Then play a game with him as a reward.

Answer 9

unfornately this is normal behavior and will eventually pass. If you can leave him home when you go out. For feeding him, I know it's hard but refuse to do it. Make him sit at the table or wherever it is that you eat until he starts eating on his own. When he gets hungry enough he WILL eat. He won't starve if he misses a meal from time to time. As for him repeating himself.....all I can suggest is try not to respond, if he sees that it gets a reaction out of you and gives him attention of any kind he will keep going. Other than that try to escape somewhere (when you know he won't get into something) to where he can't find you for five minutes and try to relax. Good Luck.

Answer 10

Time for discipline. Say what you mean, and stick by it. If he acts up in a store, turn around and leave. Don't give him treats to shut him up, that's rewarding bad behavior. You have to stick to your word, otherwise he will never out grow this and your child will walk all over you! When you speak to him during a tantrum, get on his level, use a calm and quiet voice. To hear you he will have to shut up.

Answer 11

Are you a stay at residing house mom? Your daughter could be spending too lots time with you and not adequate time around people. She's attempting to coach off and act out and see what you will do in front of people. so some distance as her dad, it sounds to me like she would not spend adequate time with him in any respect. be sure they have a minimum of 30 minutes an afternoon after artwork for one on one time. in line with probability once you're engaged on supper or taking a quiet tub. they are able to bypass outdoors and throw a ball, and so on. And if she keeps to act up around people, don't be afraid to scold and punish in front of those people. My daughter pitched a greater healthful (15 months previous) and did no longer understand her only cousin grow to be in her room and while she observed her she grow to be so embarrased and right this moment stopped crying. you may could embarrass her to get her to end. supply time outs in front of kinfolk, and so on. Dont enable her run over you. something you're able to do on my own, do it with employer. stable success!