Ok so the deal is my father met this women on an online dating website and they have been talking. I have never met her or anything & she has 2 daughters. Well he has been saying strange things to me like we are going to make this room her daughters room and that my dog is going to get a new playmate b/c they have a dog. Ok keep in mind noone in my family has met these people. I got suspecious so I was listening in on his convo and she asked how long it would take for them to get married. He said they could do it in 5 min and she liked that idea. She also asked him if they could put there bank accounts together and he AGREED! I know he has not known this women for more than 2 months and they are going to elope and get married WTF! He dated another women for 9 years and did not marry her! I dont understand. How can you marry someone move her in and not even introduce her to the family first. I think that she may be a con-artist. Please tell me what you would do in a situation like that!
2006-08-23 06:08:54 · 25 answers · asked by Lucid_dreams 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Me and mother my have not spoken in years....I dont really have anyone else I could move in with!
2006-08-23 06:29:54 · update #1
Yes we have done background checks and she has lived in several states but the background check didnt really give much info....Does anyone know where a good one is???
2006-08-23 06:33:06 · update #2
Your father has issues.... CLEARLY! Obviously you care, so you need to speak with him very openly and honestly. Let him know your concerns with a quickness. Tell him all of the RED FLAG warning signs and then you need to step off... because seriously.... what else can you do with a grown man who's wants to bring that kinda craziness on himself.
You on the other hand should be quite concerned, because your about to have perfect stranger(s):
A) move into your home
B) become involved with your Dad's finances
C) bring other children (whom you don't know)
D) could really destroy his life and your's
Maybe find out this persons name (assuming they use their real name) and any other personal info and then have the police/FBI run a background check. Wow! that's a hot mess of a situation. No disrespect, but your dad's serioulsy trippin.
2006-08-23 06:22:47 · answer #1 · answered by 247 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should have a long talk with your father about this. I think he should give the relationship more time too before they get married and he should introduce you to the woman and her daughter before bringing them home and moving them in. This woman could be a con artists, she could be married already. If he puts their money all together before the wedding he will probably not see the woman or his money again. He is a grown man and you can't tell him what to do but he has more resposibility to you as his daughter. I hope everything works out alright.
2006-08-23 06:19:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Has he met her in person yet? Has he run a background check on her? Has he submitted a background check to her in return? These are critical steps. He's not taking your safety into consideration if he doesn't. Have you discussed with him the steps he's going to take to make sure you're not displaced in his excitement over new love? Have you expressed to him that it's not about you being intolerant of his having love in his life, it's that you need to know that you are covered. I hope he's met her several times in person because it's irresponsible to go forward with move-in and marriage plans otherwise.
We had a case here in our small town where a woman fell in love with a man she met on the internet. They talked online for 6 mos. It was love. At the time, her daughter was 2. She had him move out here to be with her and her daughter. Within 2 weeks he went missing, with her child. Thankfully he used a credit card to book a hotel room with in town because it made it easy for the police to track him. The little girl was found alive but horribly abused. Worst case of abuse the county has seen. All within 24 hours. Responders to the scene were physically ill and many went into counseling. HAD the mother run a background check on this man (provided he'd given her his real name and other info) she'd have found wants and warrants for him in CA for similar abuse.
Love is just not a good barometer for trust. People need to be much more responsible than that, particularly when a child is in the home.
Your father has no idea how easily she could abscond with EVERYTHING you and your father have, if she's of the mind to do so. And she doesn't have to be a criminal to do it, she can do it easily enough through legal channels. So he better know her darn good and well, better meet her in person several times, better get those background checks, including credit reports before he brings her into YOUR life.
Finally, is there another parent in the picture you could stay with, if you are a minor? Another family? He may feel comfortable taking that risk with you but you clearly don't. Both you and another adult need to seek information for how you can protect yourself from your father's irresponsible plan.
If you are NOT a minor living with him, you can still express concern for him over his plans. It's not intrusive to care but if he's set in stone on this then you need to back off and let him at it. However, if you have children of your own, you can refrain from bringing them to meet her until YOU are satisfied that she's on the up and up.
2006-08-23 06:26:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didnt mention where your mom was, or how many other kids make up your family? Nevertheless, you need to talk to your dad about this. It is obvious is he being sort of irrational, and needs to think about the reality of what he is doing. But you dont have to do that in a confrontational manner - that would only make him defensive. Talk to him first about the online dating he's indulging in, and if he's met anyone interesting. I know you hate this but you have to sound really interested so that he doesnt hide stuff from you, and then when he's said as much as you think is going on, try talking to him about it, you have to mention that you haven't met her, and is its not safe to have accounts and all that. He would definately be upset about your eavesdropping on them, but it just might be worth it in the end. Are there other adults in the house who he respects and can talk to him as well? They might be of help also. Good luck!
2006-08-23 06:22:33 · answer #4 · answered by blueheartz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, I agree that dad might not be making the wisest of moves right now, it is really none of your business.
My father too met a woman online. They were inseperable from the start. Of course I didnt like her, and she said she loved me and called my kids her grandchildren. Anyway, to my point... there might be a good reason why she wants to get married, and share a bank account. Maybe they want to start a business together? who knows.
If you really are feeling that you need to do something, print out this page or email it to yourself and print it out and leave it laying around for him to read. This will let him know you are concerned, but that if he wishes to discuss it; he can.
Good luck, give her the benefit of the doubt, and trust that your father wont just off and marry someone for the hell of it. If it took him 9 years to not marry another lady, and 2 MONTHS for this one.. maybe there is something there.
Go meet her too. You mgiht be pleasantly surprised.
2006-08-23 06:19:43 · answer #5 · answered by psychstudent 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, all you can do is to be there when he needs a shoulder to cry on. I would not recommend you interject in any way. If woman's intentions are good, perhaps he's found what he was missing all his life. If not, then he will fail but without failing it's difficult to learn. You can support him when he comes to you for advice and use logic reasoning to put things in perspective for him (in a non threatening way), since we all know the blinding light of love takes away reason and logic and it penetrates us completely. So he may be living in that absent-minded world, but he's enjoying it, so the least you should do is take that moment in time away from him. Remember, destiny is what we make it.
2006-08-23 06:21:48 · answer #6 · answered by gudrun077 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, so where is your mother in all this. Is this a divorced dad or a widowed dad? Sounds like a communications problem. Approach your dad and ask him what he's talking about. Talk to the other members of the family who's opinion you value and trust. This may require an intervention
2006-08-23 06:15:01 · answer #7 · answered by Fuggetaboutit_1 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
God love you. It is too bad your father isn't showing you a better role model and values. Do you live with him all the time or can you go to your mom's? This lady does sound like she is moving fast and probably like you said, as a con. He has no idea how she is going to treat you and that should be number one on his list.
My only reccommendation is to move with your mom or grandparents. And learn from your dad's mistakes to take relationships slow.
Good luck!
2006-08-23 06:22:31 · answer #8 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-27 00:50:06 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off, you should talk to you Dad about how you feel. That is very important. You need to talk to him.
Second, tell your dad you want to meet her, tell your dad you want to go to dinner with the three of you so that would give you a chance to get to know her better.
And than you can figure out if shes a conartist or not. But make sure, MAKE SURE, you tell your dad how you feel!
GooD LucK!
2006-08-23 06:20:52 · answer #10 · answered by Happily Married 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋