I haven't seen my college friend, "T", in about 5 years. We met and went shopping together this past weekend. When we were in a cafeteria, the server asked if she needed her meal to be kosher or not (but she didn't ask me).
My friend asked the lady why she offered her the meal, and she said "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you looked Jewish." My friend totally overreacted, and was really really insulted that this server thought she was Jewish (or "looked Jewish").
I just happen to have reddish hair and green eyes, and my friend has darker features.
She talked all the way home about how she was singled out by this server and I wasn't. She even talked about dyeing her hair blonde. Basically I gleaned that she equated someone calling you Jewish with "ugly" and "fat," "cross eyed", and other anti semitic garbage.
I never knew this side of her. I'm really shocked. She used to be a great friend, but I guess she has changed. Should I work on the friendship or stay away from her?
2006-08-23 05:52:33 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
How can she be your "best friend" if you haven't seen her in 5 years? I mean, how well can you know somebody if you haven't seen them in so long?
2006-08-23 07:18:05 · answer #1 · answered by kcbranaghsgirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, how did you "glean" that??
I think you are making way too many assumptions about your friends feelings!
It sounds like she just got irked about being "singled" out. She probably would have had the same reaction to a person who thought she was Spanish, Indian, Vulcan, or whatever, lol.
She got upset because people made ASSUMPTIONS about her---just like you are doing now.
2006-08-26 05:03:19 · answer #2 · answered by Ana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm with ElOsoBravo; i think of is in all probability no longer that vast of a deal. that's advisable to speak with regard to the area along with her, however. tell her you fairly wish she would not have any unfavorable emotions in the direction of Jewish (or different communities of) people. The server could have the two asked you the two or asked neither of you. I used to artwork in retail in an area the place there have been many Spanish speaking people, and however I knew a thank you to speak Spanish, it could have been incorrect and particular offensive for me to assume that folk spoke Spanish via fact of their actual visual charm. so some distance as her desirous to dye her hair blonde, that does supply the effect that she would not choose people to think of she seems Jewish. From what you reported, it fairly is tough to tell no be counted if she only would not like being incorrect for some thing she's no longer, or if she thinks Jewish all people is inferior. to no longer point out that she would not look to appreciate any Jewish people who're blonde...
2016-11-05 11:16:28 · answer #3 · answered by ai 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that she got offended by being called something she is not does not make her anti-semitic. People have got to stop making assumptions about others and ASK before experiencing these kinds of embarrassing situations.
2006-08-23 06:29:14 · answer #4 · answered by Kookoo Bananas 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The source of anti-Semitism is usually religion. Try shaking up her mind by pressuring her to read, 'The Mythmaker" by Hyam Maccoby. If that doesn't work, find better people to hang out with.
2006-08-23 05:59:37 · answer #5 · answered by kreevich 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People change.
Don't "glean" bad things about your friend, just ask her why she reacted like she did. Sometimes people don't act the way we expect, it's best just to talk to her if you value her friendship.
2006-08-23 06:00:34 · answer #6 · answered by Big Ed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, mine is not really an answer more of a comment. When I first saw your question, I thought I read "My friend turned into a termite". Must say that I found it intriguing and intellectually stimulating.
2006-08-23 06:27:28 · answer #7 · answered by Triple_Lutze 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you are her friend...find out where she got this way of thinking and help her see the light...
2006-08-23 05:55:49 · answer #8 · answered by Billy! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know if i was in your position that i would want to be friends with someone who has views such as the ones you mentionned
2006-08-23 05:58:38 · answer #9 · answered by darkest queen 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe she sees all the attention that mel gibson is getting and she is just desperately craving attention--either that or she is just totally a racist b*%^$!
2006-08-23 05:59:38 · answer #10 · answered by keepingthefaith 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋