need help with my almost 6yr old rufusing kindergarten?

Question

heres the story last yr we tryed and he threw a fit the school told him he could wait till next yr if he werent ready.....this yr he seems scared...hes so smart he can write as well as my 8 yr old and knows how to count and colors and everything she knows...i hate to fight with him but his education is super important WHAT DO I DO????????????

I'AM A VERY GOOD MOM MY KIDS DONT CONTROL ME......SOME OF U R INSULTING ME I JUST NEEDED A LIL STRENGTH AND ADVICE...

Answer 1

Firstly, I cannot believe the school told him he could wait until next year if he wanted to. I would have been in the office on that one, not to mention as high up as I could go! He should not have been given the option, YOU should have been given the option. He may look at it this year as "if I throw another fit, they won't make me stay". YIKES!

Starting school is a scary thing. My 6yo is scared about going into 1st grade. Try talking to him and find out what he is scared of. Be reassuring. Talk to his new teacher ahead of time and let her know your concerns. See if he could go in a day or two before school starts to meet the teacher, see the classroom, familiarize himself with his new surroundings. Send a picture of your family with him on the first day of school. Never underestimate the power of a note from Mom in a luch box as well.

Our kindergarten teacher had a clock that she would give to the anxious children that was set to the "go home" time. This seemed to help them get through the day.

Homeschooling is another option, if you are home with your children. It can be quite a commitment on your part, depending on how organized you are and your relationship with your son. It is definately something worth looking into, if you think it may work for you.

Does your son have any friends in school? Do you have any neighbor kids that are going into kindergarten or first grade? Maybe one of them could be a school buddy for him to help ease him into school.

Good luck Mom. Hang in there!

Ooo, another thought. Does your state require kindergarten? If he is advanced and doing the things your daughter is doing, could he just start first grade? Kindergarten seemed to me to be more about getting into the school routien and reading than hardcore learning. If he is going to kindergarten again, I would also recommend not having the same teacher as last year -- it is entirely possible she was at least part of his problem.

Answer 2

You send him to school. And you simply don't allow him to "refuse". Remember, you are the boss at your house, he's not, and he doesn't know what's best for him, you do.

There's simply nothing to fight about. He is going to school, just like your 8-year-old. That is simply how it is. The sun rises every day, and sets every evening. In the same way, your son will go to school.

Honestly, it shocks me and embarasses me that you would even have given him the choice a year ago. At this point, he will always be a year behind (or more, since some will start before they are 5), for his entire school career. To continue to give in to his whims will only make the situation worse, and give him the idea that he can just change your mind whenever he wants.

Do you let him have candy for dinner? Of course not, because that wouldn't be healthy. Not making him go to school (perhaps even first grade at this point) is similarly unhealthy, and you need to put your foot down, right away.
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I don't mean to be insulting, Need, but clearly your son has control of the situation, and you can't let that continue. This doesn't mean you're not a good mom, it's just that you have a problem that needs to be addressed.

Honestly, I'm surprised that he's not excited about school. If he has a big brother or sister who is already in school, you'd think he'd be jealous, and wanting to go just for the sake of having that in common. Does your 8-year-old enjoy school? Maybe your son is being influenced by his/her response.

Answer 3

I had the scared child. He hated preschool. They dragged him away from my arms. There was no other way he was going. He would be happy in the classroom. (It was his teacher he hated.)
Kindergarten he still hated separation and that younger brother stays home. !st grade and he had just turned 6. What a failure sending him so early. He didn't want to go. He was so smart but not ready.
At the end of the school year, I went in and I told them even if they wanted him to pass I wanted him to be in 1st grade again. His maturity level was just not up there. He needed more time. Too bad the laws don't account for those needing even one more year.


.This year he is back in first grade and every mrning he wakes up and gets ready without hassel. I don't have to get on him to dress! I can drop him off furthur away from the school> I don't have to walk him to the door! I don't get 50 thousand hugs. :-(

You are not a bad Mom.
I want to assure you he will gain confidence. You are not a bad person if you want to grab his hand and go back home with him. I certainly want to grab there hands and go back home.

He never ruled me but his fears ruled him. My son just need to grow in maturity. Maybe yours does too. I know I read my son books like the kissing Hand and books that told him I would come for him. I'd draw a smiley face on his finger in ink and kiss it. Sometimes, I'd draw one where it wouldn't wash off. I told him if he felt lonely or sad to just think of me.

Your son will do fine. Sometimes, You do have to just walk away and trust the teachers. (And No don't listen to all the websites and teachers that say as the school year goes on he will get used to the routine! Some kids just hate separating and are not ready!)

I also have friends who decided to homeschool because of the separation problem. If he is learning at home then why choose an institution that isn't fitting the needs of the child. But, THat was not an option for me.

Anyway, Know you are a good Mom.

Definitely read him the Kissing Hand. I found it weasier on my child and I if I took 5 minutes each morning just to sit with my child so he still knew I supported him. We just sat and hug to reassure him before going into the big lonely world.

good luck

your a good Mom

Answer 4

Take him to visit the school prior to the first day. Let him meet his teacher ahead of time. Let him play on the playground there for a while.

You talk to the teacher (without him listening) about what happened last year and what your concerns are. This will help her be prepared for his first day and any problems.

Talk to him about how much fun KG will be and what cool things he will do there and how many friends he will make and how fun recess will be.

If he says he is scared, ask him why. Include your older child in the discussion some and talk about how she may have been nervous or scared when she started school and how she got over it. Have her talk about the fun parts of school to get him excited.

Answer 5

Is he the "baby" of the family? If so, then maybe he sees having to go to school and time away from mommy. I would just encourage you to try to make school time fun for him. Let him pick out his new backpack and school supplies. Maybe send something special with him his first few days. (Some small toy that he can keep in his backpack all day.) Then, when the day is over, take him to the park and talk about what a big boy he is. Best of luck!

Answer 6

I would suggest trying to "shadow"(spend the day) him at school. Most schools will allow this and often times it will help your child adjust. Most kids if they did not spend time in a daycare or preschool can be afraid of entering that atmosphere. Is it possible he might have a mild anxiety issue? my son who is now 10 had a hard time in preschool since i was a SAHM for his first 2 yrs, so the first time he had to get into that School type environment he kicked,screamed and was utterly terrified. i was able to spend a few days with him in his classroom letting him "test the water" so to speak and by the 3rd day we were getting ready for school and i asked him if he needed me and he told me he was ok.
Best of Luck to you. i know it may seem hard but trust me he will overcome this and have a great time in school.

Answer 7

has something happened to amke him scared of other adults? My son was abused by a babysitter and i couldn't leave him anywhere. Try asking the teacher if you could hang around the classroom for a couple days to reassure him if you have the time. I did with mine and in a week he was having so much fun with the other kids he didn't want me there anymore. He just might need time to learn how to trust others.

Answer 8

What to do?!
This question still surprises me. Just remember that YOU are the parent, you will tell the child what to do. Thats it. It should NEVER be the other way around. Do not be afraid of your kids. Tell them what you are going to do, then take them , don't take NO for an answer. Let them throw a fit, they will get over it. Repetition calms them down, keep taking the kid, they will learn that this is the way it has to be.

Answer 9

Better to start them a yr late than a yr early. When the time comes, walk them to school, hold hands and reassure them. All kids go thru this to some extent, so be patient and don't freak. Expose him to playing/interacting with more kids. The social aspect of school is as significant as the educational.
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Many ultra intelligent kids are sensitive emotionally.

Answer 10

Home school him! I home school both my boys here in Texas. You don't have to report it to anyone. My 9 yr. old went to school 1st through 3rd, he hated it last year so 4th and on is at home. There are home school organizations everywhere to support and help. Some kids can be traumatized for being pushed into school. He's scared like he is for a reason, most likely he wants his mom. My 6 yr. old has never been to school and doesn't want to go. He is very attached to me and I love it. Education is better when you get to decide what to teach your own children. My kids are getting a private christian schooling at home for free. Plus, I know I won't moleste them, kidnap them, hurt or hit them, or bring a knife or gun to school and kill them.