I am not looking to get back together with my exgf. We have moved on. We both know that we dont work together. But she was my first love and every once and a while....i miss her so much that i want to cry. The chemistry between us was amazing. We broke up a few years ago...this isnt fresh. It just pops up ever so often and makes me sad. How can I make it completely go away so that I can offer my full heart to my new gf (together only a couple months now) and reciprocate entirely the love and affection that she showers me with? She treats me soooo much better than my ex ever did and is genuine...she deserves the world from me....i want her to have it.
2006-08-23 05:18:18 · 33 answers · asked by grl_addict 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Focus on your gf. Memories are going to pop up whenever they feel like it sometimes for no reason at all. When that happens, just don't dwell on them and move on. The more you practice this, the easier it will get. Your ex obviously has a stronghold on you. It is understandable since she was your first love but it's abnormal in that it's been years. So try to work on making the decision to not dwell on old memories when they arise, you can do it!
Reply to your personal email:
As much as you still care for your ex, maybe it isn't the best idea for you guys to remain friends if you truly want things to work out between you and your gf.
Why don't you take some time to really think? Go somewhere, get away, and make sure you don't have any contact with any of the two girls. You need to learn to miss your gf and remember what makes her special and why you love her, and just why she is so much better than your ex. Also, remember that you and your ex are not together for a reason. Somewhere, somehow, something didn't work out...so why would you even want to obsess over something like that. Your relationship with your ex sounds really unstable as well, there's no need to continue on this roller coaster. You say your current gf is perfect. Realize that good girls are hard to find these days. It sounds like you have a winner. However, if you are not completely satisfied with her, there is no need to string her along. I am sure, she and you wouldn't want to be with someone who only thinks you are second best to someone else.
So to answer your question of what is wrong with you? It is the fact that you are still friends with your ex! You can't expect to get over her if she is still in the picture. Break off the friendship and get some closure. You have to make a choice right now: to remain friends with your ex or to learn to truly love your gf wholeheartedly. Unfortunately you can't have both. Good luck.
2006-08-23 05:25:02 · answer #1 · answered by Emi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will always remeber some moments that you spent with your ex, and when you do, you will feel sad that you will never have those moments again. That happens to everyone, for all the changes we have to make in life. I will never again experience the excitement of the first day of school, or last exam. Some of the people you used to spend so much time with will be gone from your life and when you remember the good times you had, you will miss them. You will miss not being able to tell them anymore what they had once meant to you. Those feelings aren't bad. They just show that we are real people and that our experiences have left their mark on us, as they should have.
As long as you continue caring about your girlfriend, these episodes don't matter. Build wonderful memories with her and accept your burden of experience with a smile. It is better to feel even pain than to feel nothing at all.
2006-08-23 05:26:09 · answer #2 · answered by Magina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your new gf is so much better than what exactly do you miss for your ex-gf? I mean, if I was eating oat meal and the lobster was served, I don't think I'd still be thinking of the oat meal.
I realize chemistry can be a big piece, but I think when you start to miss your ex, you might want to remind yourself why you're not with her. There had to be more bad than good. Once you remind yourself why is was bad, you can quickly thank God that you new gf is so much better.
2006-08-23 05:24:29 · answer #3 · answered by ManOfTheHour 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In time you will get over your Ex. I know it's hard because that was your first love and there will always be a soft spot in your heart for her. But right now you need to concentrate on your present relationship, and make some beautiful memories with your current girlfriend. Because if you don't you may lose her, then you'll really be heartbroken.
2006-08-23 05:23:41 · answer #4 · answered by Tonya W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you loved your girlfriend, she would be able to fill the void of your ex and probably even exceed it. Your girlfriend now deserves to be number one in your life and if you can't give her that then you need to let her go so that she can find someone who deserves her. so , quit being so selfish and let the girl go if you can't love her with all your heart and give her every peice of you. I'd be pissed as hell if my boyfriend missed his ex! there is a reason they are exes so get over her!
2006-08-23 05:22:29 · answer #5 · answered by dang 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you broke up a few years ago, you're still not over it. That's why it upsets you. Try to get over it by truly realizing that it didn't work out and that you have this great new girlfriend who is much more compatible with you.
2006-08-23 05:20:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably just idealizing the realationship you had with your ex or rather wished you had with her. Its normal but not healthy to continue day dreaming. Dont try to compare them> they ae different people and you are allowed to missed someone that was important to your life in the past, but be a realist. You know your girls now is worth it, so try to snap out of it.
2006-08-23 05:24:36 · answer #7 · answered by TrueSoul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make it completely go away you can't forget people. You have to seperate yourself from your x and focas on your wonderful girlfriend. Think of it this way, how would you feel if she was feeling this way about her x? its okay to miss people we all do. The little things everyday remind you of them. If you miss her that much you should think who you really want to be witth. FOllow your heart i know its sounds gay but it works
2006-08-23 05:21:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude i know exactly how you feel i too think of my first love she was the finest thing Ive ever been with and i always think of her too but you just have to let go you have the good memories lean on that and move on you have a whole world of new memories to build with your new found love good luck my brother
2006-08-23 05:25:54 · answer #9 · answered by IM JOSELITO BIATCH'S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's understanferble but whats happened has happened now.
your future is with your current gf so concentrate on that. You know the answer to the question alreading you just neeeded a bot of assurance.
goodluck, its time to forget your ex
2006-08-23 05:23:35 · answer #10 · answered by trina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋