How do i take care of miss lazy?

Question

well i need some advice on getting my stubborn lazy sister-in-law to do some work...See i moved into my fiances mothers house...to make sure my youngest sister-in law(whose 16)goes to school everyday...school doesnt start for a week yet and all summer she's done the dishes once and basically sat online all day then slept...we took care of the internet thing...however I work from 8am-4pm...i leave the house at 7:30am..her older sister works 7:30am-3:30pm..then 5-9...her mother works 4:30-3..and after we all come home we expect to sit and relax..but no we have to work our asses off to get things whe was supposed to do done..plus other messes she and her friends make..we clean that up...My Fiance cant work on the house considering hes in Ga at fort stewart with the army..well infantry...and it bothers him that when he calls to talk to me im always working my *** off,....He try's talking to his sister,i try,,,everyone trys we try making deal with her..nothing works..what should i do?

Well actually...there is reason for me trying to do this..my mother in law has stated im in charge of her and her sister...she doesnt want a messy house therefore we do everything..Miss lazy walks all over her mother and tries walking all over me...which wont happen...Im not controoled by her brother,ill be damned if shes going to walk all over me and control me.

Answer 1

Exactly what everyone above is saying (except beating her of course). She needs to learn. She is part of the family and needs to take on part of the family responsibilities. I know how you feel. I raised two boys. Two are living at my home now and I nicely say I do not want to come home to a messy kitchen - period. They usually clean up their mess but at the same time, they both also have jobs, school, studying (which they do).
You must take away everything that is precious to her until she can learn. If she wants to be treated as a "big girl" -- she's going to have to start acting like a big girl.

Answer 2

You are not her mom or dad so you unfortunately can't do anything. However, her mother needs to set boundaries. If she does not complete her work in the alloted time then she loses all privileges until it is done. If she wants to watch TV all day then fine but when you get home the TV turns off and she does the work if she still doesn't do it then lock the cable on the TV most cable companies can allow you to lock off the channels. And don't do the work for her. If she doesn't do lets say the dishes then let them pile up. IF you run out then go buy a locking file box and store paper and plastic ware in it so she cannot get to it but the rest of you are not completely suffering. I know it seems like a lot of work but it is the only way to get her to work....get creative with her punishment. Unfortunately unless your mother in law decides to make her there is nothing you can do.

Answer 3

Everyone needs to get on her case...she is just 16 though and they are lazy at that age...although I certainly wasn't :~)

Put a password on the computer so that she can't touch it at all during the day.

Give her a list of duties and if she hasn't done them she isn't allowed any privileges with her friends etc. As I said everyone needs to stick to it.

Make a list for everyone to do so that she doesn't feel centered out but make sure hers is fair. Rules should include the times she is to do them and then you can phone and check if she is.

It's a little late to start now but maybe you can come up with a Fall schedule....maybe things will change when school starts with her not around the house as much too.

Answer 4

Her mother needs to put her foot down and tell the girl to either start helping out at home by cleaning or she can get an afterschool job to help pay someone to come in and clean.
Stop letting her friends come over.
Take the phone away from her.
Make her earn phone and friend time by doing chores.
For every chore she does let her have 15 min of phone time.
If she cleans the whole house then she gets to have company over or go spend the night with one of her friends.
My parents never let me go anywhere or do anything till my chores were done to their satisfaction.

Answer 5

Keep your own areas of the house clean, and leave her messes to rot. Living in her own filth probably won't go too far with this kid. If she still holds out, begin taking things away from her. No more internet, no more television, no friends at the house, no going out, only going straight from home to school and back again. If she disobeys, "hire" a family friend to babysit her and make sure she's sticking to the rules you set out for her. Eventually, it will become too much for miss lazy to handle and she'll begin to see things your way.

Answer 6

I was kind of going through something similar to that a few years ago. My mom and sister then 14, had to move in with us for about 3 months, they just needed help so we were there for them. My sis was lazy too and it made me mad. Well, I will tell you what everyone told me " let your mom raise her, she is the mother". It was VERY stressfull. I had my own kids to raise. They moved out about 3 months later and my sis is grown up now and completely normal. Things like that happen when you live with other people. I would just stay out of it.

Answer 7

If her mother can't or won't do something about her, I don't think there is anything you can do. Why is she permitted to have friends in the house when she is there alone? It sounds as if little sister controls the house and is getting away with it.

If I were you, I would bail out. It is a no-win situation.

Answer 8

Do this: beat her.

Think I'm kidding? I'm not. Show her what doing nothing does. You could also force her to pay rent or something if she wants to be lazy. Hell, force her to work when you get home. Yell at her, demoralize her, and make her feel like ****. Either she will run away or start doing work.

Answer 9

There is no question about it. Tell Miss Lazy to start doing some housework or she can just find herself some other place to live. Ask her if she thinks her friends will put up with her. I bet the answer is no.

Answer 10

i have problems myself with procrastination. I feel that i have to feel motivated in order to act or to get started on things i must do. But the truth is you only feel motivated by acting. I guess i feel this way cause i am depressed and anxious and that makes it hard for me.