Okay, I'm married to a man that has two brothers. My husband's mother loves me. The problem in that whenever my husband's brothers get a new girlfriend, which they do often, I get really jealous that my mother-in-law will like them better than me. Is that common???
I'm a Latina married into a Caucasian family...so I kinda feel like I'm not good enough....like my mother-in-law would like a white daughter in law better. Am I being totally stupid or what???
2006-08-23 04:13:53 · 19 answers · asked by Smiles 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That is so irrational love cannot be seperated or chosen... She is probably being friendly because that is who she is.. You should feel lucky that your mother-in-law loves you, alot of women cannot ever be good enough for some mothers sons. Share, love, laugh and make friend with these other women, instead of pushing them away because of jealousy. They could turn out to be your best friend. As far a you in laws liking them more no one could ever love someone more when it comes to mother daughter relationships. She has alot of love to share. She can love more than one daughter.
2006-08-23 04:20:32 · answer #1 · answered by gina r 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being stupid for having those feelings. If you see a difference then maybe you are right in a way. She does love you because you are married to her son but she may feel a little more comfortable around the other girls because they are the same nationality. I know it sounds weird but it's true. Now most latina families don't hold back when the roles are reversed. They will open their doors for any new family member but once you cross the line then they hold grudges. I know because my family is the same way. Trust is trust but once you break that trust, there's no turning back.
Just don't let it bother you too much. Love her son and respect her. Be happy that you are in the family and not just a passing thing like the other girls. If she treats you good then let it go if you see her "treating the others better". Maybe she just wants to marry off her sons, who knows.
Keep the faith and have a happy marriage.
2006-08-23 04:29:15 · answer #2 · answered by peg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, don't worry about it. The new girlfriends or wives may get a little more attention in the beginning because everyone wants them to feel welcome but that doesn't mean that your Mother in Law will love you any less. It's like when the new baby comes home and the older siblings get jealous. Babies just need more attention and care but the parents don't stop loving the older children. Just because you're Latina doesn't mean that you're not good enough. Stand tall and be proud of yourself and your heritage.
2006-08-23 10:23:00 · answer #3 · answered by Mollywobbles 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A person's feelings are never stupid. Misguided and unfounded perhaps, but not stupid. If you feel your relationship with your mother-in-law is pretty close, then maybe you can speak with her about your fear. If she has never said or done anything to make you think she would like you less than a Caucasian daughter-in-law, it is probably just something you fret about needlessly. If your mother-in-law loves you and loves her sons, it is unlikely she will judge you or any of her sons' wives/girlfriends based solely on their ethnicity. Perhaps you struggle with some low self-esteem issues and having a few therapy sessions may help you resolve them. No, I don't think your crazy, just maybe in need of an objective person to help put things in perspective.
2006-08-23 04:31:54 · answer #4 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ur in the running. Meaning that you have been her daughter in law the longest. My husband comes form a large family. There are several of us daughter in laws. I just try to be a good friend to her and I think that is all you can really do. It's all good!
2006-08-23 04:18:06 · answer #5 · answered by LeeLynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you're being stupid, just because you are Latina doesn't mean that she would like a white daughter-in-law better. She likes you and that's all that counts. Just enjoy having a family that likes to be together.
2006-08-23 04:18:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are just being paranoid.... No matter who your husband's brothers find, I am sure your mother-in-law will still like you IF she does so right now... I do not think that having other daughters-in-law, white or not, will change her TRUE feelings for you.
2006-08-23 04:22:32 · answer #7 · answered by Просто Я 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mother-in-law will love you no matter what. Love isnt something that can change over night. She should love and respect you as much as the girl friends of your brother-in-laws. Me and my mother-in-law get along great. Your race shouldnt be an option either.
2006-08-23 04:24:59 · answer #8 · answered by JENNIFER L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not stupid, just insecure. It is understandable. Have you asked your mother in law about this? Maybe expressed your concerns about this? Might make you feel better to hear her say that is never going to happen? Or it might start a fight. I don't know your MIL, so I can't say for sure. Good luck and peace.
2006-08-23 04:18:22 · answer #9 · answered by purplepassion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've got you soo beat by means of "family" (send me a private email if you want to know what I mean by that).
Nonetheless. My husbands brother is Not married. My husband is the youngest of the two. And my mother in law loves me with a vengence. She shares private things with me that no one knows, not even her sisters, or my husband.etc.
Do I worry about my mother in law or my father in law loving/liking my husband's brothers girlfriends more than me.
NEVER! I take care of them, I do their grocery shopping, I cook their meals, I take care of their Dr's appointments, I take care of their bank accounts, my husband and I have power of attorney, the brand new house that they are now living in has mine and my husbands name on it, and the brand new truck that they are getting this week also has my husband and my name on it. AND i'm the one who keeps them both OUT of a nursing home.
So...no, I don't worry at all.
I think you should talk to your mother in law and share your feelings with her:) I'm sure she wouldn't want you going around feeling or thinking this way.
Blessings To You & Yours
2006-08-23 04:33:16 · answer #10 · answered by Pastors Wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋